Are Brits more 'Open' these days

For my increasing wrinkly FACE, Jasper!

Is Jasper here? Neil you should try Dan's Jasper-nator software. It works.

I don't know - someone said to me very recently that the problem with bright English men these days is that they overanalyze everything and can't just 'be'. If I had to choose between a nation where the men all thought like Brideshead Revisited and a nation where the men all thought like Dawson's Creek, I'd have to choose the former. I'd rather talk about how I think than how I feel. I do have some male friends with whom I can talk about a wide range of things and on quite a personal level, but in the main, I'd still rather just have a laugh with them and not get too deep. It is easier to talk about emotional things with women, because you don't feel like conversation is a competitive thing. There always seems to be a pecking-order with males in groups and that pecking-order is being continually reassessed in conversation in a way that just seems to bypass women completely, making the conversation freer, more relaxed and less combative. Of course, I also know some women who have shot their conversational bolt after 'that's a nice shirt' and 'going away this year?' - so it would be a sweeping generalisation to say that women are better conversationalists full stop. It is best to have a mix of friends, and is always a shame that this is one of the first casualties of a 'serious' relationship.

I, er, feel that, er... *squirms and runs back to comfy chair*

Well most of the younger generation are now wearing girly shirts, using moisturiser and plucking their eyebrows, I'd say yesssss. But if you'd ask me on a friday I'd say there were just more poofs coming out than there ever was.

As Ive encountered British men, I at first really thought of them as in the dark ages as far as gender roles were concerned. But to be fair and square, there is something I really appreciate about a guy who is not afraid to be who he is instead of wanting to seem modern and sensitive. I think the best of what the sunset on the age of sexist gender roles brings us is that we can be free to just be ourselves, express ourselves however we are comfortable doing it. But anyone who stubbornly holds onto ideas like men cant cook or women cant drive, etc, other than completely in jest and even then you wonder, are really limiting themselves and the potentials they have in any relationship. I really like a guy who can talk through a relationship issue without the competitive, boxing dance around it to try to convince himself that he is still manly. I dont care if its not something he's especially skillful at, it just makes it a lot easier for both of us not to get confused about what we want or intend when we can focus on the issue at hand and what it means to either of us than be insecure about how we seem to ourselves. It also reinforces the idea that its a working relationship when you can talk about anything to each other and decide things together, its really intimate and the sex is better too when you can decide household budget issues each accepting the other for who they are. You know what I mean?

Japer, you remind me of the pan-dimentional mice I mentioned last week. They instructed rats used in scientific experiments to take wrong turns in mazes so as to mis-lead the scientists who were studying them ;o)

Ok I guess Anastasia... except am not sure that sex would be enhanced by huskily exchanging household budgetary sweet nothings... or even grunting the weekly shopping list in the midst of the action... but don't know till one tries I suppose.

I just want a woman with a tattoo of a cobra on her tit.

Just the one tit then, Denver?

That'll do.

Changed your mind about tattoos, Gary? I love the special nature of a man's relationship with a woman he loves, because it's his oasis where he can be himself away from other men. At least this is hopefully the case. Men do need that one or two other guys that they can talk to about almost anything with as well though - to know that they aren't the only ones not afraid of talking beyond the basic 'competitve' banter.

I was being errrr...ironic Emma. Let’s just say, I have experience with this subject. I could weave an entire metaphor here but I'll leave it at that.

Perhaps I'm an oddball but I can talk about absolutely anything to anyone of either sex. What's the prob? You need to talk. Do it.

Ever try reasoning with a snake George?

Reasoning? I married one!

Well, I guess wife swapping is out of the question then isn't it?

Don't know, Jasper, never met any.

Magnets.

"Perhaps I'm an oddball but I can talk about absolutely anything to anyone of either sex. What's the prob? You need to talk. Do it." Ever try reasoning with a snake George? "Reasoning? I married one!" *Can you see the irony George*

I'd rather men were men and women were women. All this bleeding heart nonsense has left most men without a defined role... they dont know whether theyre supposed to arthur or bloody martha half the time. Wome have been told for so long that they can have it all, theyre now running themselves into the ground trying to be blokes as well as women, whilst the blokes lock themselves in the bathroom with their books on spiritual enlightenment. They should be reading plug changing manuals and how to put your foot down.

"put your foot down?" One of the reasons my first marriage went to the dumpster. I always had a problem being the designated discipline dispenser and pet disposer. Anything bad or distasteful was pushed off on me to resolve. You better agree on your roles and stick to your agreements; otherwise you are in for a rough ride.

Yep, put your bloody foot down. men should stop whimpering into their ylang ylang and get out there and play their roles. Bad and distasteful isnt only for men, women should take their share too... that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that there has been so much fucking around with gender roles in relationships that most men (and women) have no idea how they are expected to behave anymore. Until we all stop trying to be everything to everybody, we're never going to be happy.

I agree, there are just too many wishywashy men around these days, and women who think they know what they want, but don't really. If you start compromising on the things you believe in, just for an easier ride... you are on the slippery road to even bigger trouble. Yet you have to allow for change within yourself, of course. It is no easy ride. I suppose you want a partner who deep down understands and values this.

Yep, absolutely.

Tho I do l like a spot of ylang ylang in my bathwater occasionally and sniffing the odd flower too...

pouff.

Well thats what I like, and I am not changing my mind, so there!

You two are on good form :o)

OOOO loooook at the mook in ere, shut that door.

I'm becoming a firm believer in separate bedrooms.

Separate bathrooms would be good too... I just hate it when they come and mess about with your candles, grease up the washbasin, leave the seat up etc etc

I always had an issue with pets on the bed. I can't stand having pets on the bed. Women seem to like pets in the bed with them. Somehow, I feel like a mutt or something, begging for a spot. I usually loose too.

Excuse me, what is wrong with you people! Animals belong in the garden... Much as I love (eating) them, thats were they belong (excepting the odd housespider).

It's been said, you're never more than 3 feet away from a spider in your house. It's probably true too.

Pets do not go on the bed in THIS house. Have had a couple of pigs IN it, but pets on it? No way.

Couple? Is there room enough?

Is it true that in GB you have to pay some high fee for owning a dog? I mean, we have licenses here but they are like fifteen bucks a year and only verify that the dog has been inoculated for rabies and such.

No its not true. We scrapped dog licenses years ago but it was only £10 anyway. We dont have rabies here.

Hmmm... Marriage Licences?... let' see, about 20 quid I think... *boy am I in trouble*

Many years ago, while still a callous teenager, I shot a large ginger cat by mistake (a rabbit ran into a nearby gorse bush which I blasted with a shotgun and the cat flew up into the air and landed dead as a doornail). Not being one to waste things I chopped it's head and tail off, gutted and skinned it, and sold it to a neighbour as a rabbit..... she told me later it was the nicest rabbit she had ever eaten! :o( Mind you I hear dogs are very tasty but it's probably illegal to shoot them - especially if their owner has a licence. Probably very bad karma too if you're not really hungry.

Oh, so we have scrapped Licences, Liana.... so maybe you can shoot them then.

A cat!!! Boy, I think you are in trouble now. *phew, thanks Mykle, wipes brow*

Smiley... that must rank as one of the funniest posts so far this year. I can just picture the cat 'flying' out of the bush... I think you made the best use of it under the circumstances.

Just watched Julian Clary being 'open' on Ross and I must say he's gone up in my estimation. Wonder if he like ylang ylang?

No 'campness' is something I cannot abide at all... there is something terribly falsetto about it... can never understand why anyone finds that remoptely funny

Only caught the end as I was watching Robert De Nero in Ronin but Cleary wasn't particularly camp in the bit I saw.. and I thought his coments about almost being kidnapped by the Albanian Mafia were bost honest and amusing yet somehow restrained (for him).

I am sorry... I am sure that Julian Clary almost being kidnapped by Alabnian Mafia is not remotely funny, but... ha ha ha

.... now if they were Albanians thet would be a different altogether more serious matter...

Since it didn't actually happen I suppose it doesn't matter where they came from Gerry. It did sound a bit nasty though as it seemed they had planned to torture him for several days until he divulged his PIN number. I think the polce must have caught them because it was also known that said Mafia were also considering kidnapping a couple of other B - listers.