Limerick

So he bought her a tonic,

She went supersonic,

A political bloke, Mississipi...

...oops, breaking the rules with too many syllables. OK There was a political bloke

Who enjoyed a sniff of the coke..

"Shit, it's alumoron" Said the entire forum And his ip was blocked evermore.

hahahaha

There was a young barmaid from Staines.

Who fell down a very large drain.

When he found it was Pepsi

In the U-bend she stuck

And caused epilepsy

time to start another... On Mayday the pigs were all frisky...

Dislodged by Toilet Duck (I want to do "There once was an evil macaw" next)

Because they'd all been at the whisky

...and they never did find her remains... (Go for it, Andrew!)

He switched to beer, the old soak

There is a strange fellow called Dick, Who likes wearing see-through plastic. He’s not the caring kind, So he really won’t mind, Being in a crap limerick.

They grunted and glugged...

Ahem... There once was an evil macaw

OOh can I play please? Can I Huh Huh? Can I? Pleeeeze. Sooz to this forum is new ...

(Oh blimey! He actually went for it! I simply don't beleeeve it!) Who wasn't that quick on the draw...

She just wants to know who is who

...with her input it just grew and grew...

Huh, Robert beat me to it... I really must try to keep up.

Her stories are a must.... (can't wait for the next line)

Pretty plumage got stuck..... (heh heh)

Panted and plugged...

Anyone who looked liked Trotsky!

A Badger whos's surname was Jones......

attracted by hildas deep moans.....

took one look at her whippet

Pack full of lust

...decided to 'snip' it...

Now they're earning their income from phones... (Look, I can't do poetry, even bloody limericks. This is Mark Y-B's fault for encouraging me. I feel like my final line needs footnotes, and that can't be right in a limerick. )

Whilst having a ....no. sorry...please delete that. Down at Ta Chuck...

Ideal to read in the loo!

and evil macaw is no more! *finally got the little blighter* Next: Give forum writers enough rope............

To keep 'em offa the dope...

Fill 'em with gin at 'ta chucks'

Come in all's welcome, me ducks,

Was in truth an awful affliction.....

She rolled her R's........

Dropped the "g" in cigars....

And made her fiction affliction.

There was a young poet named Motion...

who jumped in to the ocean

He caugt hold a whale.......

now there's a fishy tale.............

Now the whale is Motion's devotion