Constructive Criticism for Si

10 posts / 0 new

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Tue, 2001-06-12 22:19

Having read the poem (Monday Morning) a few times, it seems to read better the second or third time around - I think the reason for this is that it loses it's 'flow' about half way through - the second half not quite living up to the first - the rhythm just seems to stop - not sure if I'm making sense -
I find that reading my poems aloud helps me to sort out the rythm/flow - it seems to detatch me from them a bit so I can understand the whole thing more clearly.

Hope this helps a bit - besides, you must write for YOURSELF, and not for your critics.

Jen xx

Tue, 2001-06-12 22:26

Thanks Jen. I have looked at it again. I agree with you. I seemed to have written a few lines too many. Thanks alot. That is the kind of critique I wanted.

Tue, 2001-06-12 23:34

polish-mark

For anyone who's interested in how me, Spag and Jake Kane spend our Fridays (and who wouldn't be?) read Takeaway Hell by Spag Si Go green with envy at our Rock n Roll lifestyle...

Wed, 2001-06-13 10:46

Microchrist

Well, if I got discouraged by all the people that have told me to put a sock in it and stop writing, I'd never have had a release for all the stupid nonsense whirling about in my head... I may have exploded in a huge seething mass of backed up dreams. It would have been disgusting! Keep writing for yourself first and foremost. You'll thank yourself in the end.

Wed, 2001-06-13 18:14

spag's mother

Shame on you ratings people. My Spag is quite a cry baby anyway. Have to say that I loved 'Auntie's beard', mini jesus.

Wed, 2001-06-13 22:38

jennifer

Anytime Si - and I agree with Microchrist - writing is a release of everything that's building up inside - if you let it out onto the paper you exorcise it from you and therefore it doesn't fester inside and make you miserable, neither do you let it out on other people!! J

Wed, 2001-06-13 22:42

spag's lawyer

Si has instructed me to say sorry for his little whine yesterday. He just made a mistake and is sorry. He also says thanks to everyone for giving him help.

Wed, 2001-06-13 22:45

spag's lawyer

Nearly forgot. He says a special thanks to Jennifer, Liana, Andrea, Microchrist and Mark Yellow-and-brown-pants.

Thu, 2001-06-14 00:03

cliff_spab

Spag, Stop bawling on the talkboards and concentrate on writing something good. You big Spab.

Thu, 2001-06-14 23:55

#10

spaghetti_si

Spag you must mean. Spab is quite a rude word.

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