glory glory

Yep, remember that one! How about "My friend Billy had a ten foot willy, He showed it to the girl next door, She thought it was a snake, And hit it with a rake, Now it's only five foot four." or "Milk, Milk, Lemonade, Round the back, Chocolate's made."

or bum tit tit bum tit tit play the willy banjo

or To-ny Han-cock

Aged four I used to wander around singing at the top of my voice: In days of old When knights were bold And lavatories weren't invented They dug a hole In the middle of the road And sat there quite contented. I was made to go down the bottom of the garden and sing it for two hours so that I could get it out of my system. It didn't work.

My wife grew up in Norwich with a similar little ditty: In days of old When nights were cold And women weren't invented, Men drilled holes In telegraph poles And had to be contented.

'The Language and Lore of Schoolchildren' by Iona & Peter Opie is a great book about this sort of thing if you can track a copy down.

We liked to sing this one much to the dismay of our parents: There's a place in France where the naked ladies dance There's a whole in the wall where the men can see it all But the men don't care 'cause they're in their underwear We also liked this one (sort of to the tune of the old Toys R Us song): I don't wanna throw up 'Cause I already did I made it to the toilet But forgot to flip the lid Pretty little colors all over the floor I tried to clean it up But then I threw up some more And this one is to the tune of "Deck the Halls" Deck the halls with gasoline Fa la la la la la la la la Light a match and don't be seen Fa la la la la la la la la Watch the school burn down to ashes Fa la la la la la la la la Aren't you glad you played with matches Fa la la la la la la la la (It's sad I remember those!)

did anyone know the fatty and skinny rhymes? Fatty and skinny went to the zoo Fatty got lost in the elephant's poo Fatty and skinny went to bed fatty blew off and skinny was dead

trebor mints are a minty bit stronger stick them up your bum and they last a bit longer

it's only human nature after all to get a girl behind the garden wall to pull down her protection and stick in your connection it's only human nature after all

on top of spaghetti all covered in sauce I saw a poor meatball looking quite lost.

It rolled off the table and onto the floor and then my poor meatball rolled out of the door I used to know the whole song, a sad saga of a man and his meatball............*wipes away nostalgic tear*

To the tune of Sixteen Tons: "If you stay to school dinners better push them aside. A lotta kids didn't and a lotta kids died. Taters of iron, peas of steel, if the dinner don't get yer, the pudding will!"

everyone knows this I expect .......... mouldy mouldy custard green snot pie mixed all together with a dead dogs eye half a pound of tonsils spread them on thick washit all down with some lukewarm sick also all the girls in france do the hula hula dance their tits hang low so they tie them in a bow

We had a really stupid version of the spaghetti song that I'm pretty sure was invented by a 10 year old. On top of the building all covered with sand I shot my poor teacher with a red rubber band This one is sung to "Joy to the World" Joy to the world my teacher's dead I barbequed her head What happened to the body I flushed it down the potty Around around it goes Around around it goes Around around around it goes (Well, at least we had a sense of humor)

as a kid of a relentlessly sporty family my year panned out thus: summer - cricket winter - rugby the only useful by-product of this was being in great demand to sing Rugby Songs to all my friends ... worryingly i think i can remember quite a few of them ... *blanches*

eskimo fish?

no thanks hox ... i'm a bit full after those cornflakes ...

Some friggin' in the riggin' then fish?

on the good ship venus?

Pip Pip remembers one that includes the line: "They called the baby Stephen because that was the name of the ink" Can you elucidate fish?

'all the girls in france do the hula hula dance their tits hang low so they tie them in a bow' we had further lines: all the girls in spain wash their titties in the rain, singing Nelly put your belly close to mine, close to mine.

a current one: Jingle bells Batman smells Robin ran away Uncle Billy Lost his willy On the Motorway.

there was an old lady of 92 Parlez vous there was an old lady of 92 Parlez vous there was an old lady of 92 Did a fart and off it blew... inky pinky parlez vous The fart went rolling down the street parlez vous The fart went rolling down the street parlez vous The fart went rolling down the street knocked a copper off his feet inky pinky parlez vous The copper got out his rusty pistol parlez vous The copper got out his rusty pistol parlez vous The copper got out his rusty pistol Shot the fart from 'ere to Bristol inky pinky parlez vous Bristol Rovers playing at home Parlez vous Bristol Rovers playing at home Parlez vous Bristol Rovers playing at home kicked the fart from 'ere to Rome inky pinky parlez vous Julius ceaser eating tarts parlez vous Julius ceaser eating tarts parlez vous Julius ceaser eating tarts Missed the tart and ate the fart Inky pinky parlez vous The fart went rolling down his spine Parlez vous The fart went rolling down his spine Parlez vous The fart went rolling down his spine knocked his balls right out of line inky pinky parlez vous

English Country Garden I heard 2 girls singling this on a flight to Ireland recently - good to see its still around! What do you do, If you want to do a poo? In an English Country Garden. Pull down your pants, And suffocate the ants. In an English Country Garden. Then get some grass, And wipe it up your ass. In an English Country Garden. Then get a leaf, And wipe your underneath. In an English Country Garden. Then get a spade, And bury what you made. In an English Country Garden. That's what you do, If you want to do a poo, In an English Country Garden.

Stephen, Mary, a maid from a mountain glen Seduced herself with a fountain pen. The pen broke, the ink ran wild, And she gave birth to a blue-black child. They called the baby Stephen They called the baby Stephen They called the baby Stephen Cos that was the name of the ink, Quink Quink. I knew that all those Saturday nights spent in rugby club bars would come in useful one day...........

in the rugby club i went to there were all sorts of capers which a young girl should not have been exposed to ... lots of nudity including rafter races (where naked beefy rugby players were hoisted up and had to race across the ceiling on the exposed rafters) and also naked bar diving among other things ... why is it that rugby players plus excessive amounts of beer = taking trousers down?

anal chugging was popular amongst the rugby players of my uni college.

*feels mildly nauseous*

*thankfully has no clue what this chugging might be*

The worst bar game I had to play was draughts. We were on easter tour in Dartmouth, and I had successfully avoided the more obvious games when I was conned into " a friendly little game". A giant draughts board was produced, the white pieces were pints of lager, the black, guinness. The only variation to standard rules was that if you took a piece, you had to drink it. In one. The opposition were masters at losing. I was first to chuck. I had to spend the rest of the evening on brandy and sodas to soothe my stomach.

Just to return to the original topic... The "Glory Glory" song is a favourite of me and my best friend Marion! Here are some of our others - His name was Knobbyall, Knobbyall His name was Knobbyall, Knobbyall His name was Knobbyall and he only had one... finger His name was Knobbyall, Knobbyall He went to rob a bank, rob a bank He went to rob a bank, rob a bank He went to rob a bank and he stopped off for a... sandwich He went to rob a bank, rob a bank They caught him really quick, really quick They caught him really quick, really quick They caught him really quick and they hit him with a... truncheon They caught him really quick, really quick They buried him in a pit, in a pit They buried him in a pit, in a pit They buried him in a pit and they covered him with... soil They buried him in a pit, in a pit His mother dug him up, dug him up His mother dug him up, dug him up His mother dug him up and she asked him for a... cup of tea His mother dug him up, dug him up

Auny Mary had a canary up the leg of her drawers when she farted down in darted down the leg of her drawers

editorial comment 'down it darted' to replace penultimate line

in the version i know it wouldnt come down for half a crown so it stayed up the leg of her drawers

Well now it is official, as if I needed any additional evidence before reading this thread,....I led a distinctly deprived childhood. Granted, there was food on the table and a roof over my head, but with the lame exception of the spaghetti song, and one line of the paratroopers songs, I've never heard any of these. BTW, I thought it was "gory, gory, gory" not "glory, glory, glory"???? *feels left out*

despite being a biologist, my knowledge of reproduction comes down to: "My daddy lies over the ocean My mummy lies over the sea My Daddy lay over my mummy and thats how they got little me" (to the tune of "My bonny lies over the ocean")