these people deserve to die

Builders who yell 'Wotcher Duncan' when I walk by. So bloody original.

....and builders who say "cheer up it might never 'appen." it will fucken happen if they dont pack it in.

Them bloody idiots who nick plants from me front garden. Builders who say "cheer up it might never 'appen.", because it usually has.

*duly chatised for not knowing what a biro is* ....though I do know what a burro is.....and a burrow... bus passengers who take it upon themselves to lecture everyone as to the deportment appropriate to public transit... according to them, of course..... The guy at the "assistance" window in the tube stop who told me to feck off when I asked him a question about the train...

Men with ponytails, despite the fact that Andrea likes them.

Well, they have to have CHARACTER too, Tom Not any ol' tail will do, you understand... :-)

Young!!! people who dance badly, good on you Tony about the don't care with the dancing bit a man after me own heart. Liana a bit strong having to die for all these supposedly wrong things...

Although people who like Red Dwarf deserve whatevers coming to them (hopefully in form of jolly hot poker) my real ire is reserved for the sub-group who insist on pronouncing it "Red Duh-warf" Newsreaders who say "an hotel" or "the police experts reckon..." Anyone who says "all that glitters is not gold" - it's f@£@ing GLISTERS for God's sake, GLISTERS. Whoever is responsible for every transaction in Smiths and Boots taking slightly longer with the intention of gradually increasing the nations stress level "Do you HAVE an advantage card sir?" The corporate morons who think that people like me who don't like mayo in our sandwiches would far prefer any of the following - yoghurt, cream cheese, creme fraiche. Listen dummies - maybe we just want to be able to buy a sandwich that has meat or cheese, a little salad and some sodding margerine, not any wet goopy substance that makes me want to vomit. The same corporate morons that don't realise that some folks don't like mushrooms and need it to be explicit on the front of the packet that you have suddenly after four years started insinuating mushrooms into your previously excellent lasagnes.

Jay Its a joke dear.... they dont really have to die.... except biro man...... *sharpens axe*

Liana JUst take the pen away from them, and give them a pencil to use. Of turn the brightness on their monitor right down so its totally dark.

Hey Andrew, I thought I was the only person on the planet who gets pissed off about all the yukky shite they put in sandwiches. On the rare occasions I visit a burger bar I have to explain in minute detail what I'm gonna do to the guy/gal taking my order, (usually a foreigner whose command of the English language is confined to 'wha?') if my burger even looks like it might have some of that dogs vomit they call relish in it. All you sandwich makers please note. Andrew and I want cheese or ham sandwiches that contain cheese or ham! Agree with Tom viz a viz the bike rack display, if you don't want anyone to look, cover it up! All the bastards that let their dogs shi.t on my front garden and leave it there. Muggers. Rapists. Paedophiles. Burglars. Politicians. Traffic wardens. Bad musicians. ( I decide ok?) And last but not least, in fact FIRST... The whole of the fucking royal family.

I was strolling along the street in a smallish town in northern Germany a couple of years ago and noticed, as it was hard not to notice, a large sign in one chap's front yard with roughly the following message: THIS IS NOT A TOILET FOR DOGS!!! KEEP OFF MY GRASS. VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED!!!! It was a little unclear whether the dog or the dog owner would be prosecuted, but it would be hard to mistake the drift of his sentiment. More death sentences: people who drive 50 mph on a small residential dead-end street 1 mile long. Presumably they are testing the car's 0 to 50 time rating, but it is dangerous.

I was strolling along the street in a smallish town in northern Germany a couple of years ago and noticed, as it was hard not to notice, a large sign in one chap's front yard with roughly the following message: THIS IS NOT A TOILET FOR DOGS!!! KEEP OFF MY GRASS. VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED!!!! It was a little unclear whether the dog or the dog owner would be prosecuted, but it would be hard to mistake the drift of his sentiment. More death sentences: people who drive 50 mph on a small residential dead-end street 1 mile long. Presumably they are testing the car's 0 to 50 time rating, but it is dangerous.

Why? is it everytime I seem to take up a crusade if you like, for want of a better word, somebody pops up with the words "its only a joke" as if I am senile or something and this is not, repeat not, directed at Liana personally as it has happened many time in the past but I have always let it go before. I will elaborate with Liana, all that came to mind was, not that you would would really metaphorically want them dead but could cheerfully help them on their way when the incident was happening and just thought the heading of the thread a bit strong. Just an opinion and nothing more...

but i COULD cheerfully help him on his way Jay... perhaps im the one that needs finishing off.... *goes for a lie down*

For when you get up from your lie down Liana, A nice cup of tea and a chocolate & cream cake I will have ready for you but you will only get it if I don't hear anymore talk of finishing off, for a start you would be sadly missed on here and me thinks your much, much to nice for that. Believe it, as I am noted for saying when I speak to people face to face, be it nice or nasty if its in my head and comes out my mouth then I mean!!! it, so you just get on with what I have laid out for you and enjoy...

Well, I find my comments indefensible. But I don't particularly care. I like my humour vicious. There are still people around who seriously believe what I said, and mocking them helps my condition. Plus, I think people need to be sharply reminded of what real racial hatred is, so they stop acting like tossers - going round and accusing anyone with a vaguely rational attitude towards Hitler and the Holocaust of disgracing the memories of Jews is stupid. They're the ones who've turned the memory of the Holocaust into a farce. *And* besides, I believe it was a big joke to start with. It's slapstick - it's the eternal joke of humans behaving like cruel, sadistic morons under the banners of justice, pride and purity. Nazis burning Jews because they think it'll make their country purer is a big black historical gag. And I am very sincere.

*arrives with the green baize cloth in hand and a very sincere expression on face.*

I got your book through the post yesterday, Chant. Rest assured I will soon parade it around in seminars.

Hmm. This ain't a rational debate last time I checked, so any degree of blundering emotion should be permissible, right?

Shut up, you idiot.

OK henstoat, I accept your pointed point. The real issue here is where does one draw the line in comedy. I know enough of you from your writing and postings to accept that you are not anti-semitic but were making a Chris Morris style joke. It was beyond my pale, I'm afraid (or not afraid actually) but it is important not to become pompous about this stuff or the real essence of it is lost. It's an age thing, it's a culture thing and, as always, there are no absolutes. Ho Hum.