Every ONe of These is Absolutely True

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint to toilet cycle get synchronised with a complete stranger.

You're never quite sure whether its OK to eat green crisps.

Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

You're never quite sure whether its against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

Old women with mobile phones look wrong!

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something

No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

Despite constant warning you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug

People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

Triangle sandwiches taste better than square ones.

Someone's bound to get pissed off at me monopolising the forums today.