Playing the Devil's Advocate

Imagine we have, say, an English husband who's married to a lady of Afro-Caribbean origins. He's generally well-intentioned but he just can't keep off the sauce. While he's out necking it she does the ironing, keeps the house in good order and then dozes in front of the telly with a cup of tea or a glass of wine beside her.

But several nights a week he comes home drunk and starts abusing her. He remarks on the fact that she's a different race to him and he's always hated people of her heritage. Perhaps he has different religious beliefs to her, and so he flouts etiquette by pointing out the perceived faults in her own religion. Ridiculously he accuses her of bullying him into certain decisions they've made regarding lifestyle, blaming her for, perhaps, their lack of social standing or the fact that his career hasn't taken off the way he'd originally planned.

He accuses her of keeping an untidy house and that it's her fault they've got no money. He shouts and screams, claiming that he's going to tell her family, friends and neighbours what she's really like and that it's her fault he's on the bottle or he's lost his job. Finally, in a drunken rage, he threatens to kill her. And then he says that he's going to go out and throw himself under a train. And then the world will know what she's really like because he'll leave a note saying how she drove him to it.

He throws a few more racial slurs at her and tells her to fuck off before staggering upstairs to bed.

This happens two or three times a week. In the morning, sobered up and with a hangover, he can't believe what he's said to her. He apologises profusely, promising he'll never say those things again. He really means it. He loves her and can't imagine what he'd do without her. Maybe he makes love to her, in a kind of sloppy manner, and as proof of how much he cares for her.

But that night he starts drinking again .....

My question - playing the devil's advocate - is how much should she take from this man? Should she try to understand him and accept his behaviour as one who's had a few tough breaks in life? Surely shouldn't she realise that he's sick and that he needs help. Shouldn't she do everything in her power to help him? Isn't it her duty to look after him?