bouncer - richardw

I liked this too and I quite like the 3rd line, although is it spelt shitter? It sums up losing a pet without being overly sentimental. The only line that didn't 'sit' quite right with me is 'And Dad won't tell us how to go' am not sure of the meaning of it, other than that a pretty fine poem in my humble opinion, Thanks.

Thanks Alison and Camus for the props. I can only respond to this inaccurately: I am a little gutted as you might imagine. With the third line I expected a little bit of friction with the reader, especially in something that will be read as a serious piece. However, as a personal point it's priceless and hopefully lifts a little of the sombre mood. And we could argue all day about the nuance of "shiter" that definitely wins this far North! I wanted to work in something about squibs popping silent;y overhead, but will have to settle on the title as it is now, at least until I am not so upset. I really did love that little fella more than any person outside my family. Until around three months in the future, rickx

I loved the 'shiter', and I loved the last two stanzas in particular: He who, On hot concrete said hullos Tongue lolling, to those Whose eyes I can’t meet: That made a better man than me. Calling mum, I’m at a loss And Dad won’t tell us how to go. But that’s alright, I say We’ll all lose weight, in time, The pounds of love. The last three lines are heartbreaking in the context of the poem. Odes to beloved pets are hard to do without being sticky-sweet or cliched. This was neither; it's sensitive and gently humorous.