Time Traveller Capitalises on the Stock Exchange

In that case, what would he do with the money? Would he cash it and bring it back with him in his time vessle? Would he store it in the banks of the Cayman Islands, and recover it in 2256? I guess that would be a good reason for him to come to this era because money is transferred electronically nowadays. (Hmmm hmmmm!) And, I bet the police force isn't as efficient now as it will be ... even though he got caught anyway ... so, on second thought, this isn't a bad time to do it at all! Though ... why would he give us the cure for AIDS? Could that mean that less people would die of AIDS and ... perhaps ... his great-grandmother or one of his ancestors would have, instead, married somebody who was supposed to have died of AIDS, or one of thier decendents? (ARGH! These things in movies always frustrated me. Would that mean he would, in turn, not exist? Or is he an existant biological-lifeform that was created and will always be?) (See ... I'm not sure if I were to go back and kill my great grandfather, I would disappear from existance. I was already born and nothing can change that ... but if I were to go back to my world, my family would not exist because I altered the past... though I didn't alter my past at all, because I already experienced it.) Here's something else to think about: If he were to give this money to himself at a younger age, would that mean he would never make the trip in his future and will not have the money? Or would he have it, because his other self (a biological lifeform) gave it to him? In that case, when he goes back to 2256, would there then be two of him? Himself and his other self who never made the trip. Now I'm confused. :-(

Yeah Tony, I was really disappointed. It is a wicked story, but then, if you were a time traveller, why would you need money? You can manipulate the world in any way you like, so playing the stock market seems comparatively tame.

Send for Jean Clod Van Hamme, he'll suss this guy out

Hasta La Vista Baby!

Surely that's Arnold Swore - he never?

I think I'd go back to 1982 and sleep with Blonde Cathy again, but get it right this time. And then the next day I'd go back in time a day or so and sleep with her again. In fact I'd have my very own Groundhog Day whereby I sleep with Blonde Cathy every single day of my life.

I'd go back to 1943 and when my old man reached the vinegar stroke I'd hang on for dear life and let some other poor sod get born.

blimey 60 years old and sill full of fizz, i rasie my glass to ya

I think you mean hang on for grim death!

You've missed April Fool's Day by a good 2 weeks, Karl.

Time travel eh? it's a paradox. I used to have a paradox, they were sixteen holers and I burst the air cushioned sole on some gripper rod.

Sorry for doubting you, Karl. Here's the story so far courtesy of Weekly World News : NEW YORK -- Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly, he claims to be a time-traveller from the year 2256! Sources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-old Andrew Carlssin offered the bizarre explanation for his uncanny success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on January 28. "We don't believe this guy's story -- he's either a lunatic or a pathological liar," says an SEC insider. "But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks' time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can't be pure luck. "The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information. He's going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until he agrees to give up his sources." The past year of nose-diving stock prices has left most investors crying in their beer. So when Carlssin made a flurry of 126 high-risk trades and came out the winner every time, it raised the eyebrows of Wall Street watchdogs. "If a company's stock rose due to a merger or technological breakthrough that was supposed to be secret, Mr. Carlssin somehow knew about it in advance," says the SEC source close to the hush-hush, ongoing investigation. When investigators hauled Carlssin in for questioning, they got more than they bargained for: A mind-boggling four-hour confession. Carlssin declared that he had travelled back in time from over 200 years in the future, when it is common knowledge that our era experienced one of the worst stock plunges in history. Yet anyone armed with knowledge of the handful of stocks destined to go through the roof could make a fortune. "It was just too tempting to resist," Carlssin allegedly said in his videotaped confession. "I had planned to make it look natural, you know, lose a little here and there so it doesn't look too perfect. But I just got caught in the moment." In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to divulge "historical facts" such as the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS. All he wants is to be allowed to return to the future in his "time craft." However, he refuses to reveal the location of the machine or discuss how it works, supposedly out of fear the technology could "fall into the wrong hands." Officials are quite confident the "time-traveller's" claims are bogus. Yet the SEC source admits, "No one can find any record of any Andrew Carlssin existing anywhere before December 2002."

Yeah, it's from Weekly World News, muppet. The same reputable agency that brought you the blonde impregnated by bigfoot. Duh!

:oP

It's well worth visiting the Times Online to get an update on this fascinating story.

True or not it made interesting reading no kid, so thanks to you both. Karl and Mykle...

I love it!! I'm not saying I believe the story, but time travel might be a possiblity. (But ... ya know ... wouldn't he be better off going to the 1920's and doing it then? He woulda made a hella bundle compared to now! Or ... better yet ... that stock crash in 1876 or whenever that was. Or ... even better! ... going to South Africa and discovering the Hope Diamond. He wouldn't get arrested for that. Or buying land with oil-rich deposits in 19th century Texas. Or inventing Coca-Cola! If I had a time machine, I wouldn't be screwing around in the early 21st Century New York!)

It's amazing how many people are wondering about ABC threads after 3 in the morning. I hear the time traveller said buy Micosoft shares - Gates is a time-traveller too!

Hi Cuz, Apart from the the fact that the further back you travel the more energy is required ( E=MCS2 - where S is the temporal displacement in seconds) the traveller has to be able to 'fit in' comfortably with his surroundings: Accent, language, ethnic features etc. In practice this is more limiting than the power requirement problem as is the method of obtaining the initial stake money without causing suspicion.

like a blonde mountain point, it's a fair point. there's also availability of accurate information and access to the means of capitalizing without detection. The things mentioned above would take a lot of detailed research and a lot of time here setting things up. The way it was done seems like a logical option. No manufacture, no set up costs, no qualifications needed but access to a means of making unlmited profit in a very short time. I heard this story last week on Mark and Lard. It strikes me that he'd want to go as far back as possible (to increase relative profit) but still to a time that was as similar as poss to his own in order to fit in etc (as mentioned by Mykle). The point we're missing here is that we can just agree to his terms and let him give us the information he's offering which will prove things one way or another.

he may be frowned upon in the 20's, especially if he has a penchant for buggery. funny story. what would everyone do if they had a time machine? i'd travel to 1976 and bring out the joy division albums before they bothered forming, then back to italy to assassinate garibaldi, unify Italy and become even more famous for having the biscuits named after me. why stop there? i'd branch out into footwear, take out wellington, lieutenant galosh, and doctor martens. except i'd make doc martens composed entirely of lace-holes, introducing a struggle of the fittest amongst students. only the most hardy would survive pneumonia and trench foot, weeding out those with goatees and double-barrel first names,.

Why hasn't Timecop come back and arrested him?

What a shame - it's a wonderful story. I hate it when truth gets in the way of a good yarn.