wonderful men (they do exist)
Wed, 2003-09-03 20:52
#1
wonderful men (they do exist)
Today at work I spoke to a colleague who has just found out that he has a daughter.
An ex-girlfriend contact him after 15 years to tell him that she was pregnant when they split up. The first question he asked was whether he could meet her. The second was how she explained his absence to their daughter. He found out on Sunday, has spoken to her a number of times & will finally meet her tomorrow.
He said he is excited and nervous & can't wait to meet his daughter & although he is sad that he's missed the first 15 years of her life, is determined to be there for the rest.
He said all this with tears in his eyes.
He obviously is a wonderful man & will be a wonderful father
Pete
Justyn, I would think not having a Father will have less effect on the child than is intuitive.
sabelle
It must've affected her as she asked about her father regularly and her mother said she didn;t know where he was which was a lie.
It must affect a child to think that one of their parents might not love/care or be interested in them.
On my part he seems like a genuinely nice guy
Flash
I hope you're right Belle and they can make up for that precious lost time.Wishing them all the best.
Jay
Sabelle when I said I could see where you were coming
from it wasn't without knowledge as I was left alone with
my son when he was six, not only do I have the knowledge
of that but my youngest son got thrown out by his partner
and quite rightly so the way he was treating her.
His son by her was 3 at the time and although she didn't
want anymore to do with my son she gave him every!!
chance to see the boy and he would arange a meet then let
the boy down so in the end she put a stop to it all again
quite rightly.
I have always kept in touch with Brad and his mum Brad is
11 now, I always sent money to help with his keep when
he was little because like all the others he is my grandson
and even now they are all treated the same on birthdays
holidays and Christmas.
My son regrets everything now because she is now married
to a lovely man but at least my son has the sense to realise
he can't ever! turn the clock back and has no intention of
trying which is a good thing even though I know for sure he
would love to.
He lives in Thailand now and told me the last time he was
over he will never marry as she was the only one for him.
He is now 38 always could pull the girls due to good looks
and everything else that gos with them but that along with
his temper and fists just like his father was his down fall.
Oh how we reap what we sow...
sabelle
I do agree with you Jay.
You are a wonderful grandmother. I know so many who would take their son's side no matter what.
There's a wonderful West Indian saying "If you don't hear you will feel" and it is true. Sometimes we try to correct our children & they don't listen. They suffer the consequences and it seems your son is definitely suffering and has lost everything apart from his wonderful mother.
Where there's life there's hope.
jab16
That's a good story but it gets the cynic in me wondering just why the mother never told him. Was he a monster 15 years ago? Is mom a monster? Who prompted the call...the daughter? And will he now owe 15 years of back child support? Most men I know would demand DNA testing; is he going to do that?
Does he get to tell the daughter what to do now? Was the daughter affected by not having her father around (my vote is "probably not")? What if he doesn't like the daughter and decides 15 minutes with her pretty much makes up for 15 years? What are his responsibilities?
Actually, it's not so much the cynic in me as the nosy b*st*rd. I'm curious. It sounds like a Lifetime Original Movie.
Jay
Sabelle can see where you are coming from.
Jab16 great thread, as I was very interested in your
response, wouldn't have thought of the things you put
myself but it certainly got me thinking and wondering shame
we probably will never know the answers...
justyn_thyme
I strongly suspect the daughter was affected by not having a father, unless the woman was married to someone else during the 15 years, which appears not to be the case.