Teachable Moments

Bad-luck-in-a-tartan-coat was a periphery person at Findhorn.  Moved through the Park like a shark, eating for free and using newcomers.  Her negative energy was such a suffocating black hole of frustration, you couldn’t wait to get away from her.  Thus, she re-created her abandonment issues – and newbies got some teachable moments.  She got away with it for years, her narc mask never slipping in front of people who lived there.  One of my Findhorn lessons was ‘boundaries’, specifically saying ‘No’.  Living in Aberdeen, I visited often enough to see through her.  Eventually. 

She was an expert at ambushing, so when I heard myself saying, ‘Yes, okay’, that she could stay the weekend at my flat in Aberdeen, immediately envisioned standing beside myself screaming, ‘WHAT?!?!?’.  Convinced myself that it was just a weekend and I could cope.  We met for a curry early that Friday evening.  Treated me like a captive audience, telling me she ‘didn’t feel heard’, to shut me up, and that she wouldn’t join me on Saturday evening, she would ‘stay home and have a bath’.  Now, when I invite someone into my home, I happily let them know, use the bath there’s plenty hot water, but they don’t get to dictate that to me.  Then, she flipped, leaning right over the table, hissing these malicious denigrations at me.  Stopped listening.  Started praying.  For strength to tell her she couldn’t come to my home.  She stopped her venomous attack when I looked up. Suddenly self-aware, she said, ‘I got a bit carried away. Probably best if I sleep on M___’s floor afterall’.  Answered prayer.  Inadvertently called her bluff saying, ‘I agree’. 

Following year, at Findhorn, spotted me, slithered over to perform apologising, then asked if she could join me.  I said, ‘No. I don’t want to do that’.