virtual party

ok here is the first therapy question: *puts on therapists glasses* which person at this party is least likely to exhibit anger and why ...

me me me 'cos I am SO SERENE

ME cos i'm er............well me anyway

cockweasel 'cos he's pissed and flat out under the stairs

no you are WRONG ... the answer is me ... because i am so nice ...

that aint what . says!

ask another..

me cos I'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmffffffffffffffffffff

Me. because Liana neverrrrrrr gets angry..... eh aj?

smiles SERENELY :0

Oh NEVER GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sod it phone again! I've never been so popular!

'tis not me......

I'm at a party dressed in an auburn mullett, cardigan open to the waist, lilac flares, and slippers. Do I look like I need therapy?

hurry up Fishcake, gonna run out of me tena ladies soon!

*passes out behind inflatable sofa*

*eyes passed out Fish and triumphantly snogs Hox again*

*twitches and dreams of cardigans*

that's it, gonna bugger orf home now. fishcake pissed out, liana's lips sealed with H's, misskus on the bloody phone again, night night all, smiles sweetly as I leave toatally sober, undeflowered and self esteem intact. drops sodden tena lady on the way out, grabs lage bottle of brandy and scarpers...............

I'm getting a craving for bordelaise sauce........

*arrives in an old transit van accompanied by three other friends, including a girl he met in a chat room, decamps to back garden and sets up amps, drum kit and mikes* People carry on drinking unaware of what is happening in the garden. "I guess that would be me, Fish. Now I have a band together..." *powers up and starts playing an old Who song* New feeling inside It's a hot certain kind I feel hot and cold Down in my soul, baby I can't explain Going out of my mind Dizzy in the head, and I'm feeling blue Things you say well maybe they're true I get funny dreams again and again Knows what it means, but Can't explain I think it's love Say it to you When I feel blue I can't explain, no, I can't explain You know I can't explain I'm going out of my mind Well I'm a worried guy But I can't explain

yer too bloody late nicey, they're either pissed, on the phone, raiding the fridge or fucking!!!!!!!!!!!!

oops what's happened to the swera filter tonight/

fridge fridge fridge fridge haha the filter's busted *collapses in snog-induced coma*

*calls taxi for ice in sleep*

Am I in the right place? There doesn't appear to be any trouble in here. Perhaps I'd better leave.

that's it folks, caught out at last as the foul mouthed aj....slinks out through backdoor before anyone notices

Terri, park your a rse love. Have a beer!

Sorry folks I have been having a private

i've got a grin and a copy of catcher in the rye. will these do?

blimey!! does the sergeant know about this?

So who's still sober, who's up for one etc?

*gasps* Dog!!!!

You wanna discuss it skeggy? I see the southend drunk has arrived!

*awakens from stupor finding self on strange floor* *notices strange lipstick smears in various places* Oh, I must be having a good time! *plays trumpet* TOOOOOOOOOTTT!!! *triple tongue technique*

*snores gently (contrary to rumours)*

ruff!

*perks up at triple tongue technique talk*

*dozes blissfully behind inflatable tony cook*

Hey Terri where are you? your mate jon stone is here somewhere, pissed as a fart!

Triple tongue technique!! Jesus christ James dont let the ladies know that, you'll never get out of here alive!

Hey come on has anyone seen young Stone? I wanna see him and Terri kiss and make up.

Anyone seen Edgar? He's got my bottle of sanatogen and I need him to tie me off. I say, it's a bit dark in this bedroom.

Hahahaha Lofty! How the devil are you?

It's gone quiet in here ever since James shot his mouth off about his triple tongue jobs! And all the laydeez have gone too! Very strange.

Dark? But your shirt provides a beacon for the whole house Stephen.....

*Noisily opens door* I'M BAAAAAAACK!!!!! ...hey, where'd everyone go?

*after completing a set of songs that lasted six hours, the band collapse in a heap and fall asleep*

Oh bugger, missed another one!

*Wakes up* Goddamn, my head. All I recall is spoons, spoons, spoons.