Keane and Vieira: The Best of Enemies, Channel 4, 11.30pm.

This programme should have been on The History Channel. It reminds us of a time when Manchester United and Arsenal were the powerhouses of The Premier League and mowing down teams to win doubles and trebles. The Invincible Arsenal team of 2003-4 were unbeaten over a league season, something I suspect will never be repeated. But their last trophy was an FA cup win in 2005. Manchester United were pipped at the post on the last seconds of the Premeir League last year by their ‘noisy neighbours’ Manchester City and for neutrals like me (c’mon the  City) it was one of the best finishes to a competition ever. So this is a programme about things that were, not are.

Arsenal might win the Premier league this year, but probably will come second or third. Manchester United might finish in the top four. I like Arsenal better because they play such cultured football. Vieira asked to describe le Professeur in one word went for ‘trust’.  Keane opted for ‘ruthless’ Ferguson.

Then again in his autobiography Keane was quoted as saying ‘I like dogs, because they don’t talk shite.’ Things he hated: Arsenal, Mick McCarthy and  Alex Ferguson, but not necessarily in that order or any order.   Is the Republic of Ireland assistant manager barking mad? No. He admits his job was to hurt people. He compares himself to a postman doing his job. The  away match against Juventus that took Manchester United to Fergie’s first European Cup triuumph eptiomised his commitment and skill.

Vieira does not have Keane’s snarl. When they went head to head in the middle of the park Keane maintains he won eight out of ten. The camera here seemed to focus on him more, expecting some kind of outburst. Viera shrugs things like that off. Keane has more league championships, more medals, but Viera is a World Cup winner and arguably a better player.

There was a little frisson when they were picking the best of the two Arsenal/Manchester United teams between them. Schmeichel in goals was an easy pick. Henry up front and Ronaldo on the wing were easy choices. Keane allowed Pires to shade Beckham in the team pick.  They had to settle for a tie at left back between Cole / Irwin. I’d have went for Cole. Right back Lauren. Can’t really remember much about him. In the middle Adams and both of them plumped for Stam. Ferguson, of course, let him go. So we’ve got Pires, described as lazy but classy on one wing and Ronaldo kind of shrug of the shoulders, he’s done alright, on the other. Then it was the big one. Keane picks Vieira for a central midfield slot. There’s a bit of hesitation, Viera laughs before he picks Keane.  He knows the script. He’s not ruthless. The best central midfielder of that era isn’t even in Keane’s pick of Manchester United’s best eleven. It’s that ginger-ninja tackler Paul Scholes. Keane opted for the wrong Paul—Ince. That’s comparing pit pony to Rock of Gibraltar. In the middle of the park it’s not Vieira and Keane. It’s Vieira and Scholes. Up front Cantona gets the spot beside Henry. Vieira wanted Bergkamp. Keane wanted a spot for van Nistlerooy. I’d have went for either of them in place of Cantona. Giggs and Scholes didn’t make the best Manchester United team, I find that baffling. Keane shades the programme. No need to argue about it.