Scots wae hae nae

After Brazil beat Scotland 3—0, without even trying very hard, John McGinn said in the post-match interview, ‘We gave everything.’

Steve Clarke said something similar. ‘We gave them the goals.’

Iconic Scottish commentator, Archie McPherson summed it up by saying this was the pishest Scotland team he’d ever seen—and he’s over 90. When it gets to a stramash, I tend to agree with Archie.

It was nice being in the World Cup. There was none of the toxicity with flags flying from house windows, lampposts and from cars that is generally associated with nationalism, eugenics and race hatred of the Farage ilk. Most of us supported Scotland and wanted England tae get sent hameword tae think again. But that’s historical and non-racist. Based on the patronising assumption, we don’t really exist.  

Scotland have had two Euros to fine-tune how terribly we’d perform when we got on the big stage. Few shots on goal and defending deep is a Steve Clarke given.

Gannon-Doak, the Bournemouth reserve player, because he has pace was treated as some kind of magic ingredient that made him a Scottish footballing messiah, like Brazil’s  Vinicius Jnr.  Substitute, Kieran Tierney did more and put in more crosses than team captain Andy Robertson and Doak combined.

Scotland, once again, proved what many of us already know. We have no world-class players. None of the Scotland squad would find themselves being considered for any of the teams that have a realistic chance of winning the World Cup and most teams that qualified for the latter stages.

Unfortunately, I’d need to include England in that category.

Much was made of schoolboy errors.

Grant Hanley, Hib’s reserve player, who almost single-handled, made sure the game against Morocco was gone in 70 seconds, dropped out of the team to face Brazil.

 Scott McKenna, who years ago, used to play for Aberdeen under the new Rangers manager, never got near the Scotland team. Older doesn’t mean better. Not usually. The stopper selected in place of Hanley gifted the ball to Rayan in his own penalty box.

The ball dropped straight to Vinicius Jnr.  The former Ballon d’Or runner up and La Liga, player of the season stepped away the Bournemouth reserve, Doak, and around Nottingham Forrest reserve keeper, who was allowed to leave on a free, Angus Gunn, and roll the ball into the net.

Jack Henry, who couldn’t break into a poor Celtic team and was transferred to a Belgium club (Genk) and now finds himself a millionaire footballer in Saudi, gave away a quick-fire second goal. Only for it to be disallowed, when really, it should have been allowed. Dithering on the ball, he was robbed by Vinicius Jnr, with a predicable result.

Andy Robertson has had more Scotland caps that Archie McPherson has had years. I ask myself why. He lasted 45 minutes against Brazil. The game already gone. His contribution was to fizz the ball into the Scotland box and help create another chance for Vinicius Jnr, which he, of course, accepted.

He failed to get to grips with the other Bournemouth winger, Rayan, who almost scored, but was denied by a great Gunn save. But whipped in the cross that deceived, in no particular order, Gunn and Nathan Paterson, but not Vinicus Jnr.

When Ryan Christie came on for Doak, that powerhouse of the English game, Bouremouth had three World Cup players on the park.

When Celtic’s third reserve fullback Tony Ralston came on for Everton’s forth reserve fullback, Nathan Patterson, it almost felt like old times. Neymar was also on the pitch. The former PSG player had come up against Ralston in a Celtic Champion League fixture, a very long time ago. But with predictable results.

Only one Scotland player enhanced his reputation and had a decent World Cup. I’ll need to grit my teeth here. Lewis Ferguson, Bologna reserve player. He clattered into the opposition and kept it simple. Pass marks for the next Rangers captain.

Scotland were and are dross. The manager who has just signed a new four-year deal, said as much, before storming away.

We know the score. When they start talking about how great your fans are (Celtic get this all the time) you know your team is shite.

We’re out on merit.

Roll on the next money-spinning tournament. And we all support whatever team is playing England, in much the same way I support whatever team plays Rangers.     

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