Blogs

P.S I Love You (2007) Hilary Swank is not the kind of name you could live with in Glasgow, especially if you were a guy. Gerard Butler recently of these parts walked around like a wardrobe, but with good hair, trying to act and with a strange accent. At first I thought it was Lulu/Sheena Easton Amercanism syndrome whereby they speak film language over there and talk shite over here. Then I realized ‘Fairytale in New York,’ The Pogues, he’s meant...

Alpha Dog (2007) is a crime drama written and directed by Nick Cassavetes, based on a true story. David Cameron is a young upper class dealer in political fiction, one of the smart set who have never held down a real job and make money by touting opinions and selling it as reality. When Cameron gets Brown axed from his job by ratting on him about owing money it results in a violent fight that Cameron’s gang break up. Cameron swears that he’ll...

Martin Scorsese likes to paint on a big canvas and Shutter Island (2010) is that, in a small way, with an isolated community of wardens and the criminally insane. It’s 1954 and Teddy Danson, who is really Leonard Di Caprio in a floppy hat and G-Man suit is sent to investigate the case of a missing patient, with his partner, who doesn’t really matter because he is not Di Caprio, and something has got to give. Rachel Solando, the missing patient,...

Proof shows the Gwyneth Paltrow can act. Anthony Hopkins plays her deceased father, an elderly Russell Crowe/John Forbes Nash character spending his last maniac years writing for 20 hours a day, but he has periods of remission. One of the best lines is when she gets up at a memorial service for her father and asks where they had all been when her father stank and mumbled and took no notice of anyone. ‘I’m glad he’s dead.’ I remember that truth...

The death of Jamie McGuire and somebody else. Marion told me that Jamie McGuire was dead. And so was …As soon as she told me the other guy's name I forgot it. I said I didn’t know him anyway. Somebody else told me Jamie McGuire was dead and …was also dead. He assured me I’d known him as well. I’ve been going to funerals all week, not sure if I’m at the right one. In the old days, of course, you partied all night as a sign of respect and to make...

BBC 4 seems to rely on dramatising relatively well known figures and of course there was no bigger figure than Hattie Jacques of Carry On fame. I’d read somewhere that she had shared a house with her husband John Le Mesurier and her lover and driver John Schofield. But I would never have remembered the latter’s name. I have enough trouble remembering my own. Ruth Jones as Hattie, of course, dominated the screen. Both John’s proclaimed their love...

Uncle Tom was buried today. He was 86. David, his son, said that they found him lying in his kitchen, probably a heart attack and that he died instantly. And that he didn’t suffer. We always like to think that, so we nod. He still had David’s school tie in his pocket, even though he’s about 32. I like that. His mind might have wandered but he was still literally in touch. My brother drove us through. We were meant to pick up my sister, but she...

Simon Pegg and Priceless. Simon Pegg is not Priceless, but is meant to be funny. Run Fat Boy Run might have been funny if you were…and I can’t think of the right word here. If you were drunk, daft or Peggless, which probably involves a mixture of all three. Simon Pegg’s big breakthrough film was Shaun of the Dead. That got him noticed and namechecked by among others Tarrantino and it brought him an audience. Hot Fuzz, ITV 4, was packed with the...

When Aunt Rose phones somebody has died. The only thing I can be sure of is it’s not her. It was her and my mother’s brother: Uncle Tom Connelly. The last time I saw Uncle Tom was at the funeral for Wullie Winn. That was Aunt Rose’s husband. We don’t hear about the illness; only the death. But on that occasion the early signs of dementia were showing in Uncle Tom. His son David kept a close eye on him, but he was fine, talking about his years in...

Saving the economy. With George Osborne taking the piste at Cloisters, or some other rich man’s playgroup I decided to tackle the budget deficit. I must admit I wasn’t keen on £80k a year student fees, but I was made to see sense and toe the party line. I left a memo on his desk suggesting that we backdate it. Those that have had a university education should be sent a bill. Most GPs make a million a year so it would only take them a year or two...