celticman's blog

First Lesson. The Most Beautiful of Theories. I just nipped out at lunchtime to get a bigger brain, but they were all out, the only thing left –on special offer- was a Simon Cowell brain. I said to the lassie behind the counter, ‘Do I look that fuckin’ stupid?’ ‘Or a two-for-one, David Cameron and… a black hole,’ she offered. I didn’t hang about, I’ve got better things to do with my time. Of course I don’t need a bigger brain. After all, quite...

Helen Ivory and George Szirtes (eds) (2012) In Their Own Words Contemporary Poets on Their Poetry. It’s poetry week on BBC 4. Last night I watched a drama that uses Simon Armitage’s poetry to dramatize the life and death of Sophie Lancaster in 2007. She and her lanky boyfriend were attacked in a park by a group of feral boys. Their attackers shoe prints and the pattern of their laces were left embedded in Sophie’s head. Black roses were the...

Suckerpunch is a collection of 36 short stories and a Post Script. All for two quid to download, the kind of loose change that makes a five-year old wain scowl at you and poke their lip out when you hand it to them. It’s a great deal. Not all of them are of equal quality. I’m thinking, for example, a bit of ‘Tongue’ action here. I also think as we get nearer to the end of his collection, well, you know, there’s a bit of extra padding being added...

watch this and weep Many years ago I read a short story about a woman with gigantic tits that picked up hitchhikers on the back roads. I think it was set in the Highlands. To be fair anywhere outside Old Kilpatrick is a bit like the Highlands to me, but it might have been closer to home. And I do read lots. Stories blend together and become a kind of fudge-cake mix. So if someone says have you read? I kinda have and kinda haven’t because until I...

This is a short book, with some lovely illustrations, but you’d expect that, Will Gompertz is BBC’s Art’s Editor. If I was thinking like an economist more than an artist I’d be thinking ten quid for a couple of wee pages and a couple of illustrations isn’t that great a deal. If I was thinking like a boozer that was an economist I’d be thinking that the opportunity cost of reading this book is four pints of heavy out of the Dropp Inn. If I was...

I had never heard of Richard Flanagan until I watched Imagine on BBC 1 that celebrated the writer and his work. I bought a few of his books and started in on the 2014 winner of the Man Booker Prize. I expected great things and I was not disappointed. The Narrow Road to the Deep North is a metonym for a place and time on the Line, a railway built by an estimated 250 000 Burmese and Chinese coolies and 60 000 prisoners of war though impenetrable...

Frank Tuohy (1957 [1970]) The Animal Game The Animal Game is Frank Tuohy’s first novel, published in 1957 and out of print now. Think of Graham Greene. Then think of Frank Tuohy. I’d guess you’ve heard of the former and not the latter. I hadn’t heard of him either, until I read his story Live Bait in a collection of short stories selected by David Miller, That Glimpse of Truth. 100 of the Finest Short Stories Ever Written. We’ve all got our...

It’s been thirty years since I watched The Breakfast Club. I truanted from real life and took a step back into Shermar High school where it’s always Saturday detention in 1984. The Simple Minds hold play with a number one both sides of the Atlantic, Don’t You Forget About Me? The only thing I could remember about the original was Molly Ringwald and one of the other detainees admitted they didn’t need to be in detention but they’d nowhere else to...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b063lywk/imagine-summer-2015-5-rich... I didn’t know it but I like Richard Flanagan, even though I’ve not read any of his books. Grandson of illiterates and descended from criminals transported to Tasmania, his father revered books but to be an author was not something he expected. A drowning accident in which he seemed to understand for a moment the interconnectedness of all things changed that. He continued...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b063f57q/dont-take-my-baby This drama comes with lots of baggage. Around 3000 children are removed from disabled people every year. Writer Jack Thorne has distilled their voice and created composite characters that let them speak. Tom (played by Adam Long) is partially sighted. He is full- time carer and lover of Anna (Ruth Madley). She has a muscle wasting disease and every two years is told by specialist...