Coy euphemisms

69 posts / 0 new

Topic locked

Thu, 2004-02-26 10:56

Coy euphemisms

I was tickled by the following quote from a very old thread near here that was exhumed and kicked back into life yesterday:

"my friend slept with her 40-year-old ex-driving-instructor behind a takeaway the other night."

Isn't "sleep with" about the most inappropriate phrase you could find to describe what a young woman would do, probably up against the wall of said takeaway or in the back seat of his dual-controlled Metro, to a man 22 years her senior, or him to her?

It always seems to me to be the greatest rudeness to the sexual prowess of another person to say that you "slept with" them when you really mean you enjoyed eye-watering sex, staying very much awake at all times.

Thu, 2004-02-26 12:29

Rachel

The phrase "rug munching" always gives me toothache, not sure why. But that's not terribly coy. Always think the phrase "going out with" is really bizarre. Like when you're 16 at school and some spotty yoof comes up to you and says, "I really fancy you, will you go out with me". Go out where? The Ivy? No, more likely out behind the bike sheds to he can clash you with his braces and stick a clammy hand up your shirt. Which is all great fun when you're 16 but when you're in your thirties it is time to stop "going out with people" and just admit that you're "sleeping together".

Thu, 2004-02-26 12:33

Stephen Gardiner

No, Rachel, "staying awake together".

Thu, 2004-02-26 12:36

Flash

Tonsil jousting isn't that French kissing? ok Playing with the pink/purple oboe. My friend was in Genoa a few years ago watching Liverpool play Genoa in the uefa cup, while waiting for the game to commence, the jolly scousers were kept in a large enclosed area(he said it was like a cage) to keep them sharing their own culture with the locals. But one question are upfront Scally's insisted on asking local ladies who dare approach the pen wanting to exchange scarves was 'Can we have a look where the pig bit yer?' What a charming bunch.

Thu, 2004-02-26 12:47

Martin_t

ely, i know what siphoning the python means sheesh

Thu, 2004-02-26 12:51

Stephen Gardiner

But are you familiar with bashing the bishop?

Thu, 2004-02-26 12:59

Rachel

Oh yes... And Steve, I did mean Sleeping together. As in "fancy an early night, wink, wink"... Yes, with a good book and a hot water bottle. Lurvely.

Thu, 2004-02-26 13:55

purplehaze

I'd just like to clarify that I'm not a lad - but I am v. impressed with Ely's knowledge. I knew this site would expand my mind... [%sig%]

Thu, 2004-02-26 14:20

Stephen Gardiner

kicking the gong around - the excessive consumption of cocaine (1920s, NYC)

Thu, 2004-02-26 14:23

#10

Flash

choking the chicken

Thu, 2004-02-26 14:26

#11

Rev. jude

some people may see this as rascist yet its not and I accordingly thus raise my middle finger at them. Having a number 2 or a poo can be described as "Sending a foreigner to the coast"

Thu, 2004-02-26 14:29

#12

Mark Brown

Do people still have ridiculous euphemisms for someone being gay? Or queer, or however a person decides to title themselves? I remember my Mam getting up and turning over the telly when Julian Clary came on because he was a 'pinch of snuff'? Do people still find it necessary to tip toe around the fact that someone is gay? Do they still nudge each other and say that he's 'a bit, y'know, a bit of a nice boy'?

Thu, 2004-02-26 14:30

#13

Martin_t

farmer giles chalfont st giles

Thu, 2004-02-26 14:33

#14

Rev. jude

Being Gay Bat for the other team Drink from the furry cup (female) Lick carpet (female)

Thu, 2004-02-26 14:36

#15

Rachel

Another post-coital irony is that of arguing over who gets to sleep in the wet patch. How much sleep can you get when you have to unpeel the sheet from your bum every time you want to roll over.

Thu, 2004-02-26 14:40

#16

Martin_t

lady golfer woman tennis pro he's very musical he's a friend of dorothy

Thu, 2004-02-26 14:40

#17

purplehaze

you mean you don't use condoms!

Thu, 2004-02-26 14:54

#18

Flash

kissing the velvet turdnudger

Thu, 2004-02-26 14:57

#19

Rachel

was being euphemistic

Thu, 2004-02-26 15:09

#20

Hox

My grandmother was a wonderful source of euphemisms. Gay : Nancy Boy Criminal: Wide Boy or Spiv Contraceptive advice for females: "keep your hand on your ha'penny" The biggest modern source must be the people who dream up politcally correct ways of expressing disadvantage and disability. If I were confined to a wheelchair I think I'd feel disabled, not "differently abled" or "special". [%sig%]

Thu, 2004-02-26 15:12

#21

fishhhhhhhhhhhh

in a wheelchair .... "blessed with wheels" sight impaired ... "blessed with dog" hearing impaired ... "blessed with a trumpet"

Thu, 2004-02-26 15:40

#22

Rev. jude

Fudge packer turd burgler

Thu, 2004-02-26 15:48

#23

Stephen Gardiner

Lance Cairns, the former New Zealand bowler and hitter of towering sixes, when he retired from cricket, went into the confectionery business. He made and packaged sweets of all kinds. In a biog. note his son Chris, a more recent bowler and hitter of towering sixes in the NZ cricket team, described his father as a fudge packer. True.

Thu, 2004-02-26 16:04

#24

Bob

Pillow Chewer Starfish Stabber Wears a Lilac Tracksuit

Thu, 2004-02-26 16:13

#25

Rokkitnite

'It always seems to me to be the greatest rudeness to the sexual prowess of another person to say that you "slept with" them...' Unless, like me, that phrase is literally true. I'm not joking. During. She stuck two pencils up my nose and I still didn't wake up.

Thu, 2004-02-26 16:44

#26

yerkshire blerk

Nancy Boy? Spiv? Never heard of t' like. Yer bloody mad you cockneys.

Thu, 2004-02-26 16:48

#27

Rev. jude

Gay: poo pusher, uphill gardener, shit stabber, shirt lifter, arse bandit (this thread is going so non PC) So to throw a few at myself God botherer Bible Thumper Bible Basher

Thu, 2004-02-26 17:16

#28

Southern Fried Hox

Never heard of spivs? 'appen I'll go t' foot of our stairs. [%sig%]

Thu, 2004-02-26 17:30

#29

yerkshire blerk

aye, jude...yer need separate insults cause there ent no bufties int church, like.

Thu, 2004-02-26 19:36

#30

Ely Whitley

gay: chocolate cock backdoor bandit Stoke on Trent having anal sex: taking a walk up cadbury boulevard trying the doorbell at the tradesmen's entrance sh1thbox shenannegans ..hmmm this IS getting too crude really but, that's life.

Thu, 2004-02-26 20:22

#31

mississippi

menstruating = 'got the road up'

Thu, 2004-02-26 21:06

#32

mississippi

masturbating = 'teasing the boss'

Thu, 2004-02-26 21:10

#33

impotent ="man with a guilty conscience"

Thu, 2004-02-26 21:11

#34

Southern Fried Hox

"the site may be unavailable for a couple of hours" is a euphemism for " the site has gone down like the Titanic, we don't have a f***ing clue why, or when it will be back, if ever, and even then you won't be able to post any work for months, Tony's having a nervous breakdown, and elf is sitting in a corner gibbering about linux and bandwidth". [%sig%]

Thu, 2004-02-26 21:20

#35

Emma Bryant

Working in an old-folks home as a student, I was pally with a very spritely old lady called Maud Tongue who frequently repeated her warning of never going up the garden path with a man alone. I think she still felt the threat was real at 95. (Sings...'Come into the Garden Maud')

Thu, 2004-02-26 21:54

#36

justyn_thyme

Number 2 = "taking a Nixon" ...at least that's Kinky Friedman's euphemism. Number 1 = tinkle

Thu, 2004-02-26 23:07

#37

Emma Bryant

I was shocked at 16 when a very pretty girl announced that she was going for a 'slash'.

Thu, 2004-02-26 23:21

#38

Karl Wiggins

Having the shits: Tijuana cha-cha Sour apple quickstep Aztec two-step Gay: Marmite driller Masturbating: A Hughie Green (A swift wank when opportunity knocks)

Thu, 2004-02-26 23:44

#39

Emma Bryant

Staying with lifelong vegetarian friends on Park Avenue, Hull, my most lasting euphemism for the runs is 'Park Avenue Bowel'. You should have ...bean... there.

Fri, 2004-02-27 06:20

#40

andrew o'donnell

I always liked 'Shaking hands with the unemployed' and 'Having a wazz' on the urinatory front. I always thought 'Pointing Percy at porcelain' wasn't very sophisticated for a euphemism, a bit crap actually. God knows where 'A Hughie Green' came from.. but I like the sound of it. [%sig%]

Fri, 2004-02-27 09:59

#41

Rev. jude

The runs:- Shi.tting through pinholes

Fri, 2004-02-27 10:27

#42

Flash

Merchant banker= sucessful business man Havin a sherman tank

Fri, 2004-02-27 11:28

#43

Paul

Andrew, when you ask where "a Hughie Green" comes from did you mean, "What is its origin?" or in the sense of "How do they come up with these things?" If it's the former, Wig explained already in paretheses - the "opportunity knocks" reference of course being the show Hughie Green used to host. If the latter, sorry, I'll shut up now.

Fri, 2004-02-27 11:56

#44

Paul

Also, being the pedant I love to be, I maintain "shitstabber" and all the rest are not euphemisms for they substitute an even more offensive phrase for a supposedly offensive one. This goes against the whole spirit of the euphemism: to use a softer, LESS offensive phrase instead. These are the opposite to euphemisms...whatever the opposite to a euphemism is...

Fri, 2004-02-27 12:44

#45

Jeff Prince

Number twos: I'm just going to: ...lob stones at the bog monster. ...contribute something useful to society. ...recoup some of our investment on the new inside lav. ...have an argument with Armitage Shanks.

Fri, 2004-02-27 14:03

#46

mississippi

Well that would be a Dickoism, wouldn't it?

Fri, 2004-02-27 21:13

#47

Karl Wiggins

Just to clear things up a little. I'm given to understand that the term "A Hughie Green" originated in The Pickwick Papers: "Mr. Pickwick closed the door behind Mrs. Fezzyfelt, sat down behind behind his old oak desk, and took the turnip watch from his waistcoat pocket. 'Odds bodkins,' he shouted, 'Five minutes until Mr. Sticklebrick arrives. Time enough to bash out a quick Hughie.'"

Thu, 2004-02-26 11:01

#48

Rev. jude

The yanks were writing a new version of the bible. Not content with the euphemism in earlier versions "Saul went into the cave to relieve himself" they translated as "Saul went into the cave to use the bathroom" You can imagine the rugged middle eastern terrain four thousand years ago...a wandering king dismounts his horse and enters the cave to find a fully tiled bathroom with magnolia walls, peach tiles, porcelein bowl (with scented toilet duck) and quilted toilet tissue in a posh crome holder...

Thu, 2004-02-26 11:03

#49

Flash

Women excusing themselves to go and 'Power their nose.'

Thu, 2004-02-26 11:03

#50

purplehaze

My gran used to call her knickers her 'smalls'...

Thu, 2004-02-26 11:05

#51

Flash

OOOps Powder not power that could be something competley different.........but then again maybe not.

Pages

Topic locked