Coy euphemisms

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Rev. jude
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the old powder my nose one has taken on a new meaning linked with cocaine usage where a user will literally go to the toilet in order to powder their noses
Flash
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My mum calls her cooking, edible.
Ely Whitley
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I've always wondered why we say we're going to do a "number 2" when we a: NEVER describe the other as "having a number 1" (unless you're referring to Gareth Gates, now he really does take the p1ss) b: didn't have any kind of general meeting as to the ordering of these functions. I personally would have put the larger and more substantial at number one and the less labourous and briefer one at number two. plus we should have farting, picking spots, sweating and all other bodily functions in the number system too. That way a lady could politley refuse sex by stating that she was having her number 4 this week and terraces would ring to the sound of "the referee's a fiver!"
Mark Brown
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'Number two' just rhymes with 'Poo' 'Laying a cable' is much more subtle.
Mark Brown
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As is 'launching a depth charge'
Mark Brown
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Or 'birthing an otter'. as in "I'm just off for five minutes to birth an otter'
Karl Wiggins
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Toblerone Tunnel: The gap, triangular in cross section, between the tops of a healthy lady's thighs and her fairy hammock's drip tray, into which a Toblerone would neatly slide.
Flash
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In Whitley Bay they say 'We're off to feed the fishes.'
Ely Whitley
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in Lancashire we say 'I'm off for a thrutch' or "I'm off to squeeze my head"
Mark Brown
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If you've ever paddled in the sea at Whitley Bay, you'll realise that the above isn't a euphemism but simply a statement of fact. It looks like hot chocolate with marshmallows in it.
purplehaze
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Not so much swimming as just go through the motions...
Martin_t
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siphoning the python bashing the bishop the five knuckle shuffle one off the wrist
Rachel
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Is this a lad's thread or can anyone join in?
Flash
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Aren't you a Ladette?
Ely Whitley
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Martin, syphoning the python is having a wee, like: drain the main vein point Percy at the porcelain whereas the others are all about masturbation like: shaking love coconuts from the pink palm spanking the monkey milking manfat mountain etc
Rev. jude
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Choking your chicken... for the ladies (but I find this vile) a woman who masturbates is known as a gussett typist *runs off to the confessional*
Flash
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Playing the pink/purple oboe beating the meat.
Ely Whitley
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sorry to be "mister picky" here but 'playing the pink/purple oboe/flute" is fellatio like: tonsil jousting ballbag breathalising etc

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