Ann Summers party!

Turn around now, and go away.

Andrea, A number of things come to mind. Firstly I speak in this instance as an individual and not as a salryman of Burgeon Creative Ideas Ltd. 1. After you have caused so much trouble to ABCtales and a number of its members, why come touting here for people to join your Anne Summers party? 2. Attitude, my dear, must improve. Why, an hour before you posted here, did you say on your own thread, "Erm...you want me to open room to riff-raff now then??" Are you short of rough trade? Or, perhaps, some members with a wiff of humour, bite and imagination? 3. I have playfully referred to your site in the past as the paddling pool compared to the rich, deep waters of ABC. I did paddling pools a disservice. For the first time in nearly a year I went into UKA this evening. Astounding. But it does explain the behavior of some of the people we get here. 4. Aren't those little emoticons sweet. 5. Thanks for the invite to your party but I looked in the window and I think I'll pass. 6. Please, this is a bit of fun, so no threatening letters from your sidekick Richard this time, if indeed he is still your sidekick. 7. I repeat, my views do not reflect those of Burgeon Creative Ideas Ltd. 8. Tony will slap me around in the morning. Yours, riff-raffishly, Shirt.

I guess the telemarketers didn't call this evening.

wot? I hear thunder on the horizon! (or is it my stomach?)

Mr. Gardiner has to make sure he harangues at least one person per day, so that he can chortle over his own cutting wit. If no telemarketer has phoned, he looks on the boards. Sure, this place is deep. Deep like a cesspit.

Cor blimey guvs an guvesses. Cam orn an get your clits and bell ends tickled - yor'll be in fine ole Dick van Awful company. Gord bless ya!

*hangs onto Shirt's tails* So this is like a save uka from going under benefit gig thing? Load of old cock.

Come now, Stormy. Why settle for innuendo when you can make quips about stillborns and abortions?

Good grief, Mr Gardiner, was that really necessary? It was just a bit of fun, after all. There was a AS rep there, taking orders in time for Xmas and I thought (in my naivity, as it turns out) that Liana and Fish, in particular, might have enjoyed it. No other reason. No ulterior motive. Sorry to have intruded.

Ann Summers underwear. Hrm. More of a La Perla type myself, thanks all the same. (I can't help but wonder why you would request my presence on UKA. Not that I am accusing you of being disingenous of course.)

"Sure, this place is deep. Deep like a cesspit." Yes, a cesspit you seem to spend plenty of time wallowing in.

After the todays-woman.net fiasco I'm not sure I want to buy sexy underwear on a writers's site ... if you have a disagreement you could find your dirty linen being aired in public, literally.

>3. I have playfully referred to your site in the past as the paddling pool compared to the rich, deep waters of ABC. I did paddling pools a disservice. For the first time in nearly a year I went into UKA this evening. Astounding. But it does explain the behavior of some of the people we get here.< Astounded, Why? do tell. >Please, this is a bit of fun,< Actually this sounds like a very spiteful, provocative post and it's not doing abctales reputation much good if visitors see how vindictive the general manager can be. Poor show Mr. Gardener.

That's Gardiner. Dear No-name, My comments were my own, as I made clear. The last thing I now want to do is provoke a repeat of the previous email barrage I got from the Windmill, so I gracelessly withdraw from this discussion. I remain astounded but not prepared to enlarge on that so we can all get on enjoying whatever websites we choose and get things in perspective. I loved the ostrich feather butt plug I bought. Yours respectfully Grey Goat (former) General Manager

>Dear No-name,< I thought we could use any handle we choose here! >The last thing I now want to do is provoke a repeat of the previous email barrage I got from the Windmill, so I gracelessly withdraw from this discussion.< So you've fanned the flames and now you'll stand back and watch the inferno? Yet you still have feel the need to have a snide comment. >(former) General Manager< Not on the 'Meet The Team' page you're not. Or is this just another case of abc name dropping to impress visitors? Very discourteous behaviour.... What DID Tony say? Still.....

*wearing Ann Summers nipple revealing bra and La Perla panties* Chin up, abc and UKA chappies!

Dear CTI (sic), What price a sense of perspective and a sense of irony? Otherwise, I refer the honourable member to the answer I gave earlier. The End. doh.

Who you callin' 'sic' ? (joke) (almost)!

"Yes, a cesspit you seem to spend plenty of time wallowing in." This point is old. I don't pretend to be above all the shit-slinging that goes down here. It's just that I'm not in denial about it. The other forum I used to post a lot on was Peter Hitchen's message board. It was full of racists and right-wing Christians. Like ABC's Gen Diss, the board was kept lively and vigorous chiefly because it allowed people to say whatever they wanted, and because nearly everyone there was either on a soapbox, trying to be a cutting wit, or just faffing about. I think it was shut down because it was harming Hitchens' reputation. Contention breeds contention - opposites attract - gas explosions in soap operas draw record viewing figures. That's why I keep coming back to Gen Diss. It's like a tabloid newspaper, and Missi's like Prince Charles - you have to come back just to see the latest subject he's banging on about.

chin u....... No, I gotta get my own cath phrase! er.... how about "keep yer peckers up abcers!" ? or is that sexist?

*Slender Thai girl in late twenties, coming round after surgical implants, paid for on Bob's platinum credit card. She looks at her upper arms and screams* Mrs Bob no.3: You bad surgical man! I ask for twits not peckers! I no pay for peckers! I want big twits like Wordan...I make Bob Woberts wibble with angry when he see my big twits! You bad surgical man. Now you do all it again propwee... *Nurse anaesthetises Mrs Bob no 3, takes Bob's platinum card and processes payment for corrective operation*

I'm flattered that you find me compulsive reading, I find you repulsive in the main.

Oh, hold on, no i'm not flattered at all, why would I be? Your patronage means fuck all to me.

Chin up, missi!

"Your patronage means fuck all to me." Bollocks. You love my attention. If there weren't people like me around to respond to your bull, you'd accuse the forums of being boring and leave.

You flatter yourself you stupid twat.

fists up chaps

Not really. The aspect of my personality that's attractive to you is just the disagreeable part. I'm sure I could be replaced by anyone else in the world who doesn't just ignore or go along with all your oft-stated opinions. And by the way, Greco's 'big dick' - which you so love to blow out of all proportion - is nothing compared to your hilarious assertion that the reason you have few male friends is because they feel threatened when you're around their women.

Ok, definatly peckers up chaps hahahhahaha God that's funny!

*waking suddenly in the comfy chair and confusing himself with wife no.3* Bob: Honestly, I wibble with angry when people post under my name... *nods off again*

*Missi's like Prince Charles* Misssi's no fucking different to any one else on this forum. Except he's older!

And harie..harei.......more hairy than anbody else.

Hen, >>Come now, Stormy. Why settle for innuendo when you can make quips about stillborns and abortions?<< No thanks, not my style. I'll leave that to others and you. I'll carry on posting as I have always done, ta.

Missi doesn't like Prince Charles.

You are only attractive in the way that cow-shit attracts swarms of flies, but you DO kid yourself, there isn't any aspect of your personality or character that I would find in the slightest redeeming. They think you're god in the asylum but most people here think you're a ******. I see you're also familiar with dicko's dick. It was HE that blew it out of all proportion, 'I' actually think it's most probably small to average and badly under-employed, so perhaps you have something in common? Did I say I have few male friends? Did I say it was the result of men feeling threatened by my presence? I think what I actually said was that most of my friends are women. That's because I get on better with women than most men (or boys in your case), I do however probably have as many male friends as the average person. Slow day in the asylum again? Try Yesterdays Tart, a site designed with you in mind. Bob, you're such a fucking bore, learn some new words if your brain can stretch to it.

>That's because I get on better with women than most men < I suspect that's because you find it easier to bully women (like a true coward). If you treated the average man the way you treat people here you would certainly be hospitalised. I think you will find mississippi that most users here really dislike your overbearing attitude and only put up with it because you will not go away. A very good argument for moderation in my view. To get rid of tits like you. >Bob, you're such a fucking bore, learn some new words if your brain can stretch to it.< That comment is exactly what you WOULDN'T say to Bob face to face, but you can say it here because he (and others) can't get to you. You see most people have a degree of respect for others. I cannot find any trace of respect in you. what I can see is lots of anger, jealousy and angst. Emotions you seem to possess in ample quantities. Chin up missi!

*still snoozing in comfy chair*

Chin up, Bob Roberts!

"It was HE that blew it out of all proportion..." Nope. It's you that won't stop going on about it, ye big gay twat. "I' actually think it's most probably small to average and badly under-employed..." Like so. *And* you go so far as to envisage it. Maybe time to stop thinking about other men's cocks for a while? And Paul's right - you only get on with women better because they're less likely to tell you to shove it. Kirsty's like that - keeps getting utter dildo's bothering her because she's too nice to them. "I do however probably have as many male friends as the average person." Yeah, you keep telling yourself that you're normal. And yes, you did say it was because you thought men were threatened by your presence, self-deluding little pussbag that you are.

If you were to conduct an unbiased poll, you two obnoxious turds would find that, even though i have my detractors on this site, I'm still almost certainly far more popular than you two combined. If 'Bob' had the guts to show his wretched face I can guarantee I'd say whatever to his face, but since he chooses to hide, like you dicko, he has to have comments posted on here. It's funny ya know cos I'm the same person wherever I am and in almost 61 years all I've ever suffered is crap remarks made by the likes of you, and never been attacked by anyone in the manner you describe. Perhaps you're hoping to be the first? Yeah right. Where you're concerned bignose, you're correct, I can't find a grain of respect for you (or dicko) no matter how hard I look, though I confess I hardly stretch myself. The pair of you only ever come to ABC when the asylum bores the arse off you. On the 'threatening presence' topic, I take a leaf from your book and request evidence. I find it rather amusing that a 'UKA' thread started on ABC actually has all the elements that would have it immediately removed by the gestapo on UKA. How is Richard these days? Still doing as he's told?

I'm a Marks and Spencer's cotton three pack kinda girl - nice and sensible. Ann Summers sells items of a questionable nature.

Here ya go, you walking filthbucket: Author: mississippi (213.78.81.---) Date: 08-02-04 11:27 It isn't solely a female thing. I have very few male friends. I belive this is because men are very competitive (you need look no further than this forum) until they reach the age of disinterest, whenever that is, certainly not 20 though. Women don't find me a threat to either their sexuality or their position in any pecking-order, whereas men most certainly do. "Very few male friends"? And you think that's because most men find you a threat? Frankenstein's monster, eat your heart out. Strangely enough, UKA never bores the arse off me. Like most *normal* Internet users, I can present myself daily on numerous message boards. Not everyone sets up camp on one and expends all their efforts and energies trying to lord over it. You're just weird. Which'd be fine, if you weren't such a loser about it. Your bleetings about opinion polls are too sad and desperate to even bother addressing. I'll just say this: I ain't a 'god' on UKA, and I certainly ain't one here. But who gives a fuck? What matters is, the people I respect, respect me, and the ones who don't are completely irrelevant to my circumstances.

>> What matters is, the people I respect, respect me, and the ones who don't are completely irrelevant to my circumstances << And you to them, though I obviously matter to you. I shall now rise above you and discontinue this embarrassing public squabble until we meet in person when I shall be more than happy to resume it face to face. You may have the last word for now.

No he won't. But then again...

Will you be selling y-fronts?

Nope, not personally, Jeff - dunno if they're in the catalogue even :-) Why, you need some?

Good call. My last words for now then: I will be obnoxious for as long as you are. I am, however, always happy to revert to a milder manner. Whatever suits the atmosphere. Do you matter to me? Sure, when I'm on the board. But then, snooker scores matter to me when I'm watching snooker, 2 for 1 deals when I'm shopping, getting 'experience points' when I'm playing Final Fantasy.... all manner of trivialities. So don't think that just because you can stir me up on the forums that this actually has much bearing on the rest of my life. I can turn around at any point and make a principle matter of something else. I *hope* this is the case for you also.

I'm always keen to bag a bargain.

Hmmm...not sure if there ARE any bargains - good fun, though - might be able to squash yer goolies into summat :-) Me, I'm not really into posh undies, but there ya go, eh?

*Disappears to UK Authors for a rummage*