Media Whores

Did you read my story 1000 Bumper Jokes? It mentioned my fear of Girls' Worlds <> I had a baby sitter who looked just like Fergal Sharkey. He even had that swingy hair cut and everything. He worked in a trout farm and always smelled of fish. I remember catching him having a toss to Miss World once. Although he claimed he had dropped the remote. We didn't have a remote....

It's just wrong, really.

That hair. (I'll stop now).

oh yes! I did read that. Horrible werent they? Thread smoothly transformed from PR peacocks to Girls worlds. I bet you couldnt tell much difference if you stood them next to each other actually. One with a nose pushed in by an index figer, the others nose caved in by a twenty pound note.

*shudders* One of my best friends from school actually turned into one of them. Last time I saw here she was a size 6 (she is 5 11 tall) head to toe in Gucci and saying, 'Darlinggg.' She really was. AND she called my postmodernism class Po-Mo, which made me want to kill somebody (i.e. her). Do you know when I worked on a national slimming title which will remain nameless, I was once invited to a press launch where they would give me 'free botox and lip fillers'. I thought, 'This is just plain wrong, surely'....but it's what those London Maggers do without a second thought. I was sent hundreds of pounds worth of free stuff too (hooray..I mean how terrible), so what we did was set up a box where people had to donate to charity to have the free stuff, instead of it being 'free'. I had this romantic idea of journalism when I was at school, but I soon found out that lots of it (not all I'm sure) was about back patting, freebies, and placating advertisers. hmmmph.

<> *titters* I'm sorry, but HORNBY! Please tell me why Ralph. I am willing to be convinced...

I guess you've read 'Sushi For Beginners'? A friend raved about that book so much I went out and bought it in hardback edition, as it was only just out. God I was bitter.

I cant find the hornby vs parsons thread ANYWHERE. Grr. It was a goodie as well.

Hornby vs Parsons? I hope the conclusion was that they should both be put in a blender and made into pseudo-nuggets? I have read Sushi For Beginners yes. Actually I quite dig Marian Keyes up to a point. I find if there is a free one of hers on a mag or something I will read it. I like to read those sorts of things because a) it is escapism b) they tend to have a brilliant pace to them, which is good for writing and c) my sister always buys them for me because 'you like books don't you'? and it would be rude not to... The thing about chick-lit is that nobody pretends it is anything other than it is... when a bloke writes it there seems to be some need to make it deep and literary, when in actual fact it is cliched bollocks. I would have felt bitter if I had bought it in hard back though. I read the entire Sweet Valley High series when I was about 10. I am sure it has shaped my writing beyond belief.

Keyes' under the duvet book of collection columns is great... as you say, she doesnt preted to be anything other than what she is. I havent read sushi though, because i read her third or fourth and found it to be too samey, but that's fine. It is what it is. Watermelon was good... I gave her books to a friend of mine Iva, who doesnt have english as a first language, and she adored them. She said that the british have a genre for women that keyes and india knight (my life on a plate is HILARIOUS) fall into, and there is no other country that produces such funny, escapist literature aimed at twenty/thirty something women. She has first class degrees in Russian, English AND Management, so she cant be classed a a bimbo either... (Iva that is). There is a snobbery around chick lit that annoys me really, and you are spot on as regards Hornby being chick lit for blokes. Hi Fidelity i a great great book, sorry. I suspect its because it is about music, lists and compilation tapes though, and these subjects are dear to my heart.

I rate Hornby because he is a great writer. You must not confuse him with Tony Parsons who isn't. Hornby's new book 'A Long Way Down' is rumoured to be a classic. High Fidelity was and is a classic. I once met Fergel Sharkey when he was recording the song 'It Never Happens to Me' by 'The Assembley'. I was very good mates with Vince Ckark;s brother at the time (basildon Boy). Fergel had very small teeeth I remember. I am a media whore, I hate it, hate it.

I have no prob with chick lit and its validity for what it is if it doesn't pretend. I just found that 'Sushi' had such a large content that was spun out ad nauseam and could have been much sharper with a good redraft. I was bitter because it's not my sort of read, yet I shouldn't be, because it was a learning process. I also am repulsed by so many of the chick lit sentiments, and that's just me.

The Parsons/Hornby thread appears to be lost, Liana. If you want it, I will either mail it/messenger it to you from my much maligned archive, or I COULD cut'n'paste it here. I know that c'n'p jobs on later threads piss some users off. In this instance though, as it's not available on ABC, I'm willing to take the flak.

how to be good was awful.. sorry r.

I would add to that - I LOVE Rachel's work on here - so, so, so much cleverer than Keyes and very publishable. Where IS she??? That baby's due...

Keyes has had a remarkable life too... turned herself around from raging alcoholism. Admire her very much.

<> I would probably like Hornby if he was packaged as something he's not. I suppose there's my prejudice there. I would quite like to read the Hornby/Parsons thread missi...

She's written some brilliant things on feminism too has Marian. I liked her book Angels very much. A great satire on the 'media whore' world with a nice, normal, wholesome ending.

Yes, could you george? Sorry, missed that earlier.

I'll re-post it as a 'new' thread, that way it won't disrupt the flow of this one, and those that want to ignore it can do so.

I er, dropped my remote control to the Sweet Valley High TV series quite a few times. There was one particular girl with red hair, who was the bitchy shallow friend of the nastier twin. And then I moved onto the superevil red-haired villainess of Return to Eden. Why can't I find an evil strawberry blonde who likes Risk and breaking men's hearts?

Your masochism is getting out of hand, Andrew.

Right, I'll get round to looking at some of the other Keyes stuff sometime, didn't know any of that, was just judging the merit of that one piece. However, the facts about her life aren't automatic validations of her worth as an author, though obviously life experience counts for a great deal if channelled succesfully through whatever artistic medium. Following on from that is the argument about what is successful, and the criteria are debatable.

No, I know that... try her Under the Duvet (ahem, so to speak). There's a very very funny piece in it about her brothers marriage in Prague.

I have the terrible feeling you've just described Anne Robinson emily.

Should have added 'attractive', but I thought that was a given. You can't break a man's heart unless you can make him fall in love with you. I'm not actually a masochist, George, I just have a penchant for cold women. Dating someone without waiting for an icicle to get slid into my ribs is actually making me more nervous than when I knew it was coming and the only question was when. (And you can talk - you're still there, aren't you? And coming here to converse with Tai and Jasper is your form of escape...Sheesh!)

Oh, I'm just a bloody sad case, I get taken in by anyone with a pretty smile. I never expect to feel the cold steel but I have many scars anyway. I don't come here to speak to those people, I was here years before they heard of the place, THEY come here and prod ME, and if I'm in a bad mood I snap at them. If I'm in a good mood, I don't wait to be prodded.

<> Be careful what you wish for, Andrew, you might just get it. I think you have been confusing infatuation with love and it will come as a big shock when you find the real thing!

Actually, I don't think Halley really is a heart breaker anyway - just like you hasn't found the right person yet. Could be a relationship made in Nirvanna :) (sorry about the smiley face, ferg).

Afraid to say that my discussions with Hayley have shown that she is very kind-hearted and that she is not actually shallow at all, so we would clash terribly. It was a blow to me too. *not actually sure I could wear vests for any woman, even a cake-eating Risk player*

Not really that fond of risk after all then Andrew. I find we Cancerians should let other people pick our women because were hopeless at it. You two should get together if only so the rest of us can see how it goes. I look forward to the daily progress reports. [%sig%]

Oh yes I am not a heartbreaker at all. I am sometimes shallow, but mostly not. I'm a nice girl me. *Case in point: I do have to point out that I WAS BEING NICE about vests to make jude's friend feel better... I do not require a vest on a man... in fact I'd rather not have one. You see... I could never get the cold bitch thing down at all.

As far as I know, Smiley, they are both spoken for - so stop being a heartbreaker yourself!

Oopss, pity that we might never know then...

Shut up Emma! Spoilsport... I've never been brave enough to flirt with Hayley and was going to enjoy for an hour that the doorway had been temporarily opened.

Well, who am I to talk anyway...I'll just place a door-stopper under the door for you two...(and admit that it would be nice to see a little flirting around here again...).

Yeah Emma, thanks for nothing. (how did that sound...did I sound heartless?? Did I? Shit I'm crap at that, frankly)

Hmmm, flog me, go on...I'm deserving... Use Dan's filter and ignore my posts for a bit...or better still I'll piss off...

We don't see enough of you as it is Emma!

God no! Don't go! (see the real Hayley can't bear to upset anyone... even if they're just pretending to be uspset xx)

You were pretending weren't you?? If only we had Emocions on here, eh? (Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

8-(..... Does that look anything like a jibbering wreck... It's good to be back, after being away such a long time.

It's kind of you girls to illustrate my point (smiles).

What do I think of coked up, arrogant wankfish? I like them deep fried, with mushy peas.

I think Julian Clary seems to have got his act together recently, Ralph. He was good on Jonathan Ross a few weeks ago and showed how much he's matured since Joan Collins Appreciation and the infamous 'fisting Lamont' statement.

He was great, it was the rest that......

Yes, i gethered that from your post Ralph :oO

i object to the term "wankfish" ...

Depends on whether you do it or not, and whether it gives you or others much pleasure, I guess... ;-)

We've had a lot worse... but not an attractive term - still i think that was the point, Fish. Is it something you feel strongly about for some reason?