THE RINGS

Posted by Tom Brown on Wed, 10 Sep 2025

The
Circle Of The Rings

 

Granny & Grandpa

Jack and Beryl Brown

 

Oupa and Ouma (Grandparents and Mother)

 

Selby Logan and Mother

 

Ouma (Ionie) and Oupa (Jacques) de Vos

 

“As unto the bow the the cord is,
So unto the man is woman;
Though she bends him, she obeys him,
Though she draws him, yet she follows:
Useless each without the other.”

 – Longfellow

 

Comments

Submitted by Tom Brown on

 

It is just a beautiful poem of Longfellow, I am actually more liberal as far as that is concerned, in fact I am willing to drop the “obey” part it is not practical in today's time. Thus I would be willing for the vows rather say “to honour and respect”, and as clearly meant and understood, with the utmost “respect”. The rest can be the traditional, as it stands.

Tom Brown

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Nice to have old photos, Tom.

I think the fear of the word 'obey' thinks of it in terms of an authoritarian, dicatatorial relationship! I think rather of the command of husband to love and respect their wives, and the relationship being somewhat like a business, where one may have to occasionally make a decision, but ideallly always with discussion with his employees and secretary who he will rely on to think of needs etc and feedback relevant to that decision, and so his occasional decision making accepted, but normally with complete agreement! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Tom Brown on

Thanks for the comment Rhiannon! Yes and I was thinking of the word "obey" in a military sense or perhaps with children and parents. Or in a school setup.

Still it doesn't seem right to me I believe you should be more like "equal partners" as you say. One could I think I agree that the final say be with the husband, or rather then, divide the authority depending.

One for about bringing up kids, the other on financial matters and so on. The same, I feel I have found a workable solution here, as demanding Mutual “Respect” and Yes, I would.

Let us not now carry on about this here, not such a big deal really.

Only saw your comment now, keep well! Tom

 

Submitted by Tom Brown on

Thanks Jacques!