swans

This one duck came waddling over to me and said "Hi - my name's huey!" So we sat down near the waters edge and I asked him if he was having a good day and he said "ahwell you know - just in and out of puddles like ducks do." And then this other duck come waddling over and quacked "Hi - my names dewy." So we exchanged pleasantries and I asked him whether he'd been up to anything interesting today and he said, "ahyouknow, the usual: in and and out of puddles like ducks do." And then this third duck came waddling over to the waters edge and I smirked and said "right - so I take it your lewy then?" "Nah," replied the third duck, "I'm puddles!" mad them ducks.

There are very few female Mallards left here in Scarborough, Maxwell. I don't know where they've got to but they've taken their kids with them. Canadian geece seem to be far more popular than any other water birds. A few dozen swans (4 or 5 black ones), maybe a couple of dozen Waterhens, a hundred or so Mallards (about 6 of which are females) and a couple of dozen strange little ducks with yellow eyes around their eyes... unless of course you count the many thousands of seagulls. [%sig%]

I guess like all sensible birds, they depart the area when they find out a pest has moved into the area.

I'd love to live near the sea, smiley. I think talacre must be the closest to me which is roughly an hour or so away. Abersoch is a beautiful beach but it's a farmers widows haunt. They sit on their chalet balconies and their middle-aged sons, in dunagarees, play in boats around st.tudwalls. Yes, a life by the sea sounds like bliss. ahh, I can dream :)

It was always a dream for me - until it came true. You're a water sign like me (I'm a crab you're a fish) so you'll love it by the sea. It's very comforting to wake to the sound of seagulls and know that the sea is just a five minute walk. Have you read Hesse's Siddhartha? It makes you realise that magic is only making up your mind what you really want and never give up on it until you make it happen or you die.

It's probably worth mentioning that Scarborough is built around a series of cravasses which makes it unlike most other seaside towns. Several lakes, lots of woods and a few big parks - so lots of birds and other wildlife - with plenty of hills to keep you fit and relatively few cars... luxury.

I meant ravines not crevasses - too much talk about blotting paper on the other thread, Maxwell :o)

Plenty of opportunity for bird watching then.

I'm in cheshire, smiley. Middlewich, small, quiet canal town. Gorgeous. The only highlight is a folk and boat festival every year. We had the levellers last year. That was great. This year it's eddie reeder, I think. Wasn't she in that band? fairground attraction, not sure. It's rather amusing because all year the small minded bigoted, inbred lot moan about all the travellers who've settled here and then they invite a whole world full of them down for the weekend in June. HAHAHAHAHA!! It's alright then though. As long as they dance for the nobrainers!! blah. off to watch tim clare on channel 4. :)

he said he's read it!! WELL DONE TIM CLARE YOU SEXY OOAGH..YOU!

I'm very fond of canals and love biking along the canal bank in the sunshine. Huddersfield is on the Manchester ship canal - although you can only go by boat on some parts of it. I could cycle several miles in either direction along the tow-paths. We used to have a boat, that was really meant for the sea but, which was just about manageable in the narrow canals and I would keep fit in Summer by winding the locks with a short key while pottering up and down between the various pubs - while my brother-in-law got ratted... Messing about on canals is nearly as good as messing about on the river - but they tend to stink in Summer.

I could Google it for you, but where's the fun in that?

Try this then. I can't vouch for their altitude. [%sig%]

I punched a swan on thursday. I was fishing and the big white fooker would NOt leave me alone. It had more front than Harrods, I tried hissing and making myself big and standing up and waving my arms and flapping my landing net in it's face and, eventually pushing it in the beak with the edge of same net but it was having none of it! It just hissed back and lunged for my bait (bread, maggots, sweetcorn etc). I kept it back for a bit with my net but it flapped up and onto the bank between my feet, dragging my rod/line etc with it and reared up at me then went for my gear again. well, royal immunity or not I was half tempted top just grab it's long tempting neck and snap it but instead I just slapped it, hard across the beak and shoved it in the chest, as it was falling backwards into the water it had a swipe at the back of my hand and could have done some serious damage so I just punched it under the beak as a kind of reaction. It wasn't a very good connection, it just knocked the head back a bit (I was leaning forward from a sitting position) but it seemed to do the trick. I guess it hadn't been punched before and saw it as a potentially dangerous thing, what with it having such a long, whippy neck and all. so there you go, bloody swans! bunch of gits they are and geese are just as bad. they don't take no for an answer but the old net in the face thing usually works. [i should point out that at no pioint was I in fear of having my arm broken because that's just a myth. the damage from a swan is all in the beak I can assure you]

Sounds more like you were pissed in bath tub again Ely! Them rubber ducks are vicious little buggers in suds?

I'm a shower person, the water's never yellow for too long that way.

* scratches head*....pissed while pissing in the shower...oh my! Errr...the swan was surely in your hands then......lucky you only spanked it instead of snapping its neck...ouch..lol New Badge *Save our pilots: Spank me swan*

I had to fend off a gaggle of geese at Ely once. They were hissing at my kids, so I grabbed a big stick and poked 'em into submission. NO ONE messes with my kids, not even ornithoids. Their geese would be cooked, for sure...:-D

oh scarborough. You're only a stones throw up road then smiley :) I got a chance to move to york 3 years ago on a work transfer but I turned it down due to the house price shannanigans at the time. I was working as a buyer with nestle. Plans for a move have been in the pipeline for a good while ;)

Oooh, Maxwell, I luuuuuurrrrrvvvve York! Favourite city in Angleland; it's like Cambridge, but less up it's own arse. Wish I could move there. The Jorvik Viking Centre has got to be my favourite ride ever!

Are'nt ornithoids them bush dwelling toads that jump out and shag ya ankles when ya least expect it? Geese are crotch up peckers....thoid I get, but I never seen one orni..ewww?

Yeah, I do piss in the shower Jasp. I piss on my hands, it's an old builders trick to toughen the skin on the palms so you get less seggs and splits in the skin, footballers do it on their feet to stop blisters etc. it sounds a bit manky but it's perfectly clean and you wash after a few mins of course. AG, my girlfriend is scared stiff of birds- geese, swans, ducks etc. They don't scare me but they can be dangerous, especially to kids. I think it's just a question of scale, they don't see a small person, they see something their size which is more of a threat.

Oh my...I'll never be able to pat another loose duck ever again........PTS sets in....* shivers uncontrolably*......*swallows handful of prosac*...*spits em out quickly and rushes for Detol*...*stands on head and pours it on a nasty duck bite*....)))) Phew (((....could have gone septic!

I'm not sure where you are, Maxwell, since you say you had chance to move to York (not that you did). The only drawback to living in Scarborough is that it seems colder in Winter - you'd expect the sea to keep it warmer but I don't think it does. I think I'd live in New Zealand given the chance - but it's an awful long way for the removal van...

The geese were most forgiving of my combativeness (and left the kids alone) once they realised we had FOOD for them. It's always the same...tsk tsk. No principles, those birds.

They scare me sometimes them ducks.