Teenage Exorcists BBC 3 9pm

I quite fancied Peaky Blinder on BBC 2 or even Sound of the Cinema on BBC 4 but I wanted real drama and who could resist Teenage Exorcists-- Brynne Larson and her two best friends Savannah and Tess Scherkenback? As Brynne’s good old dad Bob tells every new audience he meets, he is the world’s best exorcist. To prove his point he can sell his audience DVDs of his top ten exorcisms, his no nonsense books of how to hook the devil out of your life and other such religious tracts and all for knock down prices. He also does  two- for -one deals. This doesn’t extend to exorcisms, although like Bosley in Charlie’s Angels, he does have his daughter and her friends to help. The trio of eighteen-year-olds admit they like getting dressed up for the shows. Old Bosley Larson has friends in high places and I’ll mention them in no particular order GOD, George Bush (senior and junior) General Colin Powell, President Ford and, of course, his First Lady Betty. Old Bosely Larson got pretty spunky when asked about donations and the potential cost of a private exorcism.   He mentions the pastors of those Mega churches (one on every street corner near you) make about a million dollars a year and he makes nowhere near that. He asks Dan Murdoch, the Producer /Director who tracked them for six months to make this documentary, about the cost of rehab. No mention is made of how much taxes he pays, because as any good Scientologist knows churches and churchman don’t pay taxes. Nor is any mention made of how much he gives to the poor. I was shocked how little he had to live on and if the address of his modest Arizonian ranch had flashed up on screen I’d have immediately send a few thousand dollars to help feed those thoroughbred horses they keep stabled and from starving out of the goodness of their cornpoke hearts. This is the last big tour before the girls go away to college. Brynne, the lead figure and Farah Fawcett of the trio—although, obviously not as pretty, because even Farah Fawcett doesn’t look as pretty as Farah Fawcett—has unlike the other girls been home schooled. They met naturally enough at Karate class. As Bosley Larson likes to remind his audience he is the world’s best exorcist (did I mention that?) and in case you guys out there get any ideas, and here the girls strike their Charlie’s Angel pose, they’re black belts in Karate. On tour, to a fundamentalist American feeder church in the Ukraine, where what Pastor Larson said had to be translated, the demons didn’t know where to look. I must admit to being possessed with a fit of giggles. The girls went into action, swinging bibles in hand as a cosmic sponge positioned at the back of the neck, or the small of the back. A favourite position was a bible on top of the head and forcing the person and the devil inside them to crouch down (ouch, ouch, ouch) before admitting who they were ‘Jezabel,’ predictably enough was the name of one demon and another was called ‘Death’. I was hoping for a Bob or a Joe, but they’re not demon enough sounding names, or even a Margaret, as in Thatcher.  But even more predictably Bosley Larson professed a great admiration for Thatcher, as I’m sure she did for him, when they met. He’s also got a picture with her understudy little John Major and Norma. Just to show there’s no hard feelings there’s Bosley Larson in a picture shaking hands with the stain-headed Mikhail Gorabachev. Only God –and there’s no photo of Larson and God-- knows what Bosley Larson done to bring down the Iron curtain. Luckily, for us Brits Larson brings his gaggle of daughters to London, the birthplace of witchcraft, Satanism and Harry Potter.  Savannah tells us that over fifty-percent of women in Britain consult a horoscope before making a major decision. Wow. Margaret Thatcher Sagittarius in the ascendant—invade the Falklands. Ellipse in the tenth house—let’s fuck the miners. Now I know. I can rest assured in my bed at night that all is not as it seems, but those Angels are out there making it right.