Another exciting fact about ducks!

I once had two pet ducks; one was an bog standard duck and we bought a Muscovy as a companion. She was incredibly beautiful but a complete snob, she had to be bullied into the pen at night. Her wings were clipped but we completely forget that they grow back. One day, we saw her standing on the garden wall. She shook herself, gave us a 'so long suckers' look and flew away. My parents, when we moved house, said they gave the duck away to a 'friendly' farmer who kept ducks as pets. I don't want to know, before you ask.......

No wonder Daffy is still single to this very day.......

"Suddenly I'm not half the duck I used to be, there's a shadow hanging over me."

They're not as bad as geese. Now they're DANGEROUS! Nice in the oven with peas, though... (sorry Phyllis)

S'pose a duck's out of the question?

True Story: I worked at Xerox in the 1970s. One day I was looking through the internal company telephone listing, searching for a Mr. Young. Just before his listing, I saw the name Yoo. His first name: Duck. That's right: Mr. Duck Yoo. He worked in the engineering dept. One of my biggest regrets in life is that I did not telephone Mr. Duck Yoo to see how he answered the phone.

true story: when i was 22 and at Cambridge, ok living there not 'up' at Cambridge, I was walking - term loosely applied - along Regents Street after closing time one dark and stormy night when eider premonition that something nasty was about to happen. Sure enough, I heard a 'phlumf' - it's the sort of sound that a duck makes when it flies into a car travelling at, let's assume speed limits have been obeyed here, 30mph. the car, a vauxhall viva, I recall, failed to stop. I noted its number. The creature was running around in dazed circles with its neck on one side. Viewed from behind it could have been a headless chicken. my two unflappable perambulatory assistants that night jumped into the road without any thought of danger to themselves and picked up this rotary mallard. I spotted a solitary old bill lurking in the shadows of The John Lewis Partnership shop. We approached PC461, duck cradled in our waddling coats, and enquired if he could help. He got on the radio. "461 to control" "control receiving over" squawked the bird on the other end "461, I 'av three members of de publick with han injoored duck in a coat, over" "control, 461 - stop taking the piss and patrol" "461, duck is alive but happears to have neck wound. rquest advice, over" "static" 461 turned to us and looked sad. he said they had told him to relieve us of Drake (we had named him during the interchange with the control freak), take him to a dark corner - and there were plenty of those that night - and break its neck. 461 admitted, after questioning, that he could not do it and was there any chance we could bowl out Drake. had I thought of future motoring offences that may, or may have occured in the future years, I might of exacted more from this young bobbino before agreeing to this fowl deed. We made our pleas, on Drakes behalf, but 461 moved us on, threatening a charges varying from obstruction to drunk and disorderly. we took drake home and put him in our bath. Failure to let our fellow dig dwellers know caused the feathers to fly the next morning but Drake was oblivious. He appeared to have lost sight in his left eye. We renamed him Nelson. This hardy duck stayed with us for 5 more days. On the 6th day we took him to Cherry Hinton Park and released him. after a couple of abortive flaps he took off. We waved and cheered in the manner of naval wives on a dockyard. Nelson headed into the woods .... everything was fine until he took a left bearing.

I really should check these posts before pressing post. (I hate using the same word twice don't you?) anyway... sorry about the bad gramma n all de typos. it is late.

I love the fact that we have an entire forum topic dedicated to ducks. There's a guy at my place of work called A. Drake. I love him too

Have you ever met an Indian Running Duck - I think that's their name. Friends of ours used to keep them but the little sods were impossible to catch - the ducks, not the friends - so we never ate them as intended or got many eggs. but they were very funny.

i seem to recall offering Easty an introduction to Phyllis White here yesterday, but i can't see it today. i was hoping to play a little part in the making of history as these too bird titans came together - perhaps to combine their enormous creative powers and create a joint masterpiece. typical. Phyllis brushed out of trace. again. i think the word envy springs to mind here - people just can't stand how good her little bird poems are. i mean, i know i speak for a lot of us here when i ask, why the hell hasn't Phyllis been made writer of the week? why are her poems never pick of the day? and i can tell you the answer; pure envy. i said it yesterday, but it seems i'm going to have to say it again today - Phyllis's poems on little birds are one of the great wonders of the site. and as to her exciting, ground-breaking divergence - 'a big bird, a big bird...' i won't complete the poem. many of you will know those lines by heart. i know i do. so come on, abc, and own up to where the real talent on the site is.

yes, where has your post gone chant? is it a error or is the phantom forum censor at work again? I like conspiricies.

I beg to differ, Chant. It's a well-known fact that I'm extremely fond of the strangely absent Phyllis and her little flock... Incidentally, one of my posts did a disappearing act, too - and I didn't even say @!#$ in it. Maybe the powers that be decided that it was so mind-numbingly boring that it required instant deletion...

Hmmm - this is *very strange indeed* Haven't removed any posts. Will get the techies to look at it.

Do bad ducks go before the beak? (sorry...so sorry...sorry....bows out in shame)

I'll resist the obvious cricket jokes.....

Used to be a band called Ducks Deluxe. Something to shake a tail-feather to.

i know someone who has a duck who's Rather Small...

the person or the duck?

both

:0) ps. would just like to complain about how awful it is having whole thread devoted to these fiendish creatures, second only in deviousnerss to guinea fowl. I come here to ESCAPE all this...

Orange is a reliable sauce when it comes to ducks.

I think you're being overly rhetorical, the duck, poor beast, is rarely diabolical

not sure how many more exciting facts about ducks i can take!

"I quack; therefore, I am." Dauphey Duque

You guys amuse me, you really do (sincere mode). I always like to hang around with people who are QUACKERS, I do it all times of the day, even the QUACK of dawn. Aaaaaah, too many jokes, get me DOWN from these heady hights. Help me, Im QUACKING up (too many quack jokes), I need a DUCKtor. I should be out GOSLING beer (goose I know but Im running out) instead of sitting at this keyboard. Its just not proDUCKtive. Its late too, its getting DUCKer (all groan) and I wont be able to find my way to the pub :(, I may not even be able to find my DUCKati in the car park (dont have one but Im getting desperate(r)... is desperater a word?). Besides I'm not getting paid for this... I should really send you lot my BILL, but everything should be free on the WEB (their feet... does that count?). Dont worry people, this tirade is nearly over, I cant really stretch it any FEATHER than this, though Ill try... Quick, behind you, a flying pig... DUCK everybody (K, ive hit the natural limit and I wont repeat any jokes). Sorry all. Easty's thought for the day: Beak-areful everyone, this could happen to you.

"...'Duck'? Sounds almost exactly like 'F...'!"

Daffy Duck released a version of 'Yesterday' as a single...