A Gift For Sunny_day
Turning The Corner.
Many years ago I was deeply involved in my personal search for Enlightenment. I used to sit on a rock and mediate for many hours each day. I had a girlfriend who had once lived with me but who now lived 10 minutes away at a brisk walk. I was on the dole but life was fine for I had few needs - just food and shelter and I had both.
Slowly my ego began to disappear - it was not a good thing!
The local children began to make fun of me and throw stones.
I felt somehow worthless in a worthless world - but still I continued.
Finally my girlfriend could stand no more and she found someone new.
That was almost the last straw - I remember vesting friends but only being able to stay for a few moments before rushing outside and away.
In my pain and desperation I decided to walk a few miles to visit my parents and along the way I was talking to God.
I told God that I had taken all that I could take and that I was going to abandon my search and striving. God did not reply in a way I would have expected, instead - everything went black and empty, there was nothing but my awareness of the pit, the pit of emptiness! Just as suddenly as it went it came back and I had probably not even completed a single step. It was like being turned off and then back on - no sense of time - forever in a moment! I laughed - what else could I do? It was as though God had showed me what I was without Him - nothing. I had turned the corner...
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