meeting people city vs countryside

am still awaiting scoreline from this fixture

i think it's going to go to penalties dave...

if cities attract more interesting people but its impossible to meet them and the countryside is full of dull people who are easy to meet ... its a no score draw surely ... i was raised in the countryside ... studied and lived in cities ... now i live in a smallish town ... small children are good accessories for meeting people and i met some very interesting women in the city when i lived there and had small children ... in this town with my last small child i went to the toddler groups and such and lost the will to live ... i've picked up most of my good close friends through writers groups and through work ... on the net i have met some very interesting people who have become real life friends ... its just as well as i dont have what you might call a social life here in murky ... i could try harder but it is quite depressing ... watch this space for when i take up upholstery classes ...

My dad met my mum in a pub about six miles away from where I am right now, and told her that he loved her and wanted to marry her. My mum told him to f.uck off, unless he was buying her a drink, and here they are, 20-odd years later, with three (mostly) adorable children. Now that's romance!

Karl, agree. Deborah's problem (just like everyone's) was that no matter where she went, she took herself with her. She was an ok person and all that and we spent a lot of time doing things together or in groups over the years, but she was a workaholic. Oh lord, was she. Harvard Business School etc. She's been very successful, but at a price. In our parent's day, or certainly in my parent's day, most people married the girl/guy next door. Granted, maybe next door was at college or maybe at work, but still it was next door. Nowadays, at least in the U.S. everyone delays marriage and family so long and moves around so much, it becomes this big problem. I agree about dating agencies. I don't think they usually work very well, but there's nothing wrong with giving it a try.

it puzzles me this planning to get engaged business ... surely if you are going to get married you are already engaged gail? and what happened to the whipping out of the ring box on a romatic date????

romatic is a bit like romantic but more organised

or perhaps you were thinking of a rheumatic date, Fish. perhaps Jay and her posse of lovers can confirm?

yep, I guess in our minds we are already engaged. It's just that I scuppered his plans by asking him before the date he planning to ask me, on our anniversary, romantic setting etc. so I said, ok, ask me then!

I recently moved to Belfast. It's a small city I know. However, the people of this city are extremely friendly. I have never been in a bar, cafe or nightclub, without someone striking up a conversation. People here are interested in their fellow man and it is a far cry from the misconceptions portrayed on tv bulletins of the place. Whether it is a good place to meet someone or not....well who knows? Maybe I need to shed some more of my English reserve (am getting lighter by the day though) and go native. We shall see :-)

re the dating agency part of this thread, I confess, I did it, and absolutely no regrets whatsoever. I have chosen a partner for myself who is just what I wanted, and all it cost was £10. Getting engaged next week, a year since we met.

I used to live in London before moving to a village so tiny it doesn't even have a corner shop. I noticed straight away that people are A LOT more friendly around here. It is true that they don't have their guard up and if you're out walking they generally say hi to you as you pass, smile or even wave at you from car windows, which I found very strange at first. However when it comes to actually meeting people that's still very hard, at least it was for my parents, (it was easy for me because I went to school every day). If only because the population's much more widely dispersed. It took us about three years to really feel like we had any close ties here other than a couple who have been best friends with my parents long before we moved here. So your friend is right to a certain extent in my experience, people who live out in the country are generally less image-conscious and more friendly. BUT you don't meet MANY people, as you are living in a smaller community. I'd say if she's talking about a potential partner then she's just as likely to find them in the city as anywhere else, because really you get all types everywhere.

This is a bit of a self-fulfilling prophesy. I lived for years in Greenwich Connecticut, which is just outside New York City by about 35 miles. There were singles events every night of the week, plus the usual bunch of bars and dance clubs. Yet my friend Deborah claimed it was impossible to meet anyone in Connecticut. I dragged her to a few events, she met a couple of people, but nothing happened. Why? She didn't want anything to happen. She insisted that NYC was the place to be and moved back to Manhattan. Within two weeks she had a boyfriend. It didn't last, but it was enough to convince her she was right. I told her she could have easily done the same thing in Greenwich, but nooooo. So then she moved to California because, well, NYC was just too hectic and people weren't "real." The problem with a small community is a relative lack of choice, and the fact that as a newcomer, the people who grew up there will be asking themselves....hmmm...is this person going to stay around...or will they leave at the first chance...after all, many of them are probably dreaming of leaving for life in the big city themselves. Of course, this is easy to see in someone else. I do the same thing, including moving from one continent to another, and nothing improves. *counts as-yet-unvisited continents on one hand with fingers left over*

whooo congratulations gail ...

thanks!!!

but which floor was he on, gail?

If worst comes to worst, a personal ad in the paper worked for my mum: 'I have two eyes, one nose, one mouth, the usual number of arms and legs, and a brain.' Attracted my dad (which is strange as knowing him I wouldn't think he'd be the sort to read the personal ads). 16 years later, four kids and still very much in love. Aww, innit sweet? :)

I never really had this sort of problem growing up because, even though we were moving house every 18 months or so, we generally ended up living with the same people again, which was one of the nicer parts of growing up with an army dad. You just moved to a new places, waited a few weeks, and all your old friends showed up. Rey! *waves regimental flag* Once we left the army, we stayed in contact with our closest friends, and for this reason, my parents never went out of their way to make friends with the people in the village, although obviously we're on good terms with our neighbours. We also had the benefit of moving to Cambridge, where my mum grew up, and where most of the people she knew at school still live. Life on army camps was very insular, far more than in villages, and I do still miss many aspects of that sort of life. But I've gone completely off the point now. Meeting people round Cambridge is pretty hard, because the night-life isn't fantastic, and we're all quite spread out, as Penmagic said. You tend to meet the same people over and over again, rather than anyone new. I think I can safely say I know everyone I'm ever likely to know round here now. Big cities are different, because there are more options of where to go and what to do, and so on.

Justyn, If Deborah was under the impression she'd meet more "real" people in Calfornia when comparing it to New York, she must surely have found it quite a culture shock. I've always found it easy to meet people, but then I lived in America for many years, and Americans are so open and outgoing that it's hard not to meet people. Even on the road, living in a town for just two weeks, we'd be able to meet people. But when it comes to looking for a partner, sometimes it can just be our lifestyles that hold us back. I'm lucky. I have a partner who loves me and loves me back. But my sister has had a lot of problems in the past. She's extremely attractive, outgoing, confident and intelligent, yet in the past has found it so hard to meet men who understood and appreciated her lifestyle. Especially when she was on the road. If an emergency happened, only someone in the same business would appreciate that she had to be there - and that limited her choice somewhat. I think dating agencys are a fine option. There's nothing wrong with them and it's nothing to be ashamed of.