alcohol: nice social lubricant or dangerous drug?

ice ... i think you DO worry about what people think of you ...

Although I would actively campaign for this country to keep it's legal stance on alcohol, because I believe in freedom of choice and I would like to see an end to illegal drug trafficking of every description (by allowing people to make their own choices)... I have to say that I am heartliy pissed off by people who think nothing of getting off their trolley and acting like complete gits and then,in some cases, getting into a car and driving home, having a go at me for smoking. Smoking is legal form 16 why? Because it doesn't alter your perception, or your personality to the extent which alcohol does. Alcoholism is, if not actually hereditary, definately cyclic. My grandfather was an alcoholic, my dad screwed up his career because of a drink problem and all three of his kids (me included) can't handle the bloody stuff. I havn't been pissed in about 5 years because I don't like loosing control. My sister looses control several times a week. Well she's 29. That's her choice. I think she's a mug, but that's her choice and she has the right to it. I have a right to smoke (though probably not in a public place before long) When teetotaler non smokers point out the damage etc I don't mind so much, but when pissheads who's drug of choice is that more damaging and causes more fatalities one way or the other than any other drug legal or not it makes me want to slap them. Yeh it's a dangerous drug, but I'd still campaign for our right to drink.

Cheers for the advice Ari and iceman, I know you're right really. And Chant, thanks for showing an interest but I don't think I should write out a long list of the standards I set myself because filling up the forums with my issues would just be self-indulgent and everyone would hate me!

Come off it Richard, you drink and get pissed because you like it.

Seems to me that you can pay tax at 16 but you cant vote till 18, You can smoke at 16, but you can't drink till your 18. Legally. How can you pay tax and accept a government that wont let you have a say till you are two years older? I smoke btw. I am not as bad as Spencer but when I ran out of ciggies this morning (like I had none) I was well annoyed. iceman

And Wigginses has already done it anyway.

Chant, I was hoping nobody would remember the other thread! Now I look like a complete psycho! I do seem to have more than the average amount of disturbing dreams, but I'm not always the evil one. My sister killed me on Christmas Eve last year. It does tend to be mainly members of my family that actually die, although the majority of dreams I can remember involve school trips so I expect a lot of schoolmates die as well. How am I a control freak? well, in terms of drinking... I feel that I constantly humiliate myself in public, so I always regret drinking as it makes it easier to make a twat of myself. Generally I'm quite perfectionistic and in order to even come close to the standards I set for myself I have to try to control my life very strictly. It's quite sad really because I never get there anyway! I'm not really afraid of my 'dark fantasies' because most of them are just the products of my imagination and not actual wishes (at least not conscious ones)! But if I have a panic attack when I'm drunk then the boundary between reality and dreams blurs a little. Iceman, when you say 'bolster', do you mean that control freaks feed their egos by being controlling, or that they prop their fragile selves up with routines and rules? "The dream suggests that you have buried issues with your brother which you may need to resolve." Yes, a few days earlier I'd had an argument with my sister in which I overreacted because I've always felt he likes her better. "You shouldn't feel guilty Emily. I don't. If I did I would be running scared of what people think of me." But I am! I can't help it... When I think of some of the things I've done when I was drunk, I just loathe myself. I know it's silly because everyone else seems to be able to just laugh at themselves. Sorry, didn't mean to turn this thread into a listen-to-MY-problems thing! I've just never met anyone who freaks out like I do when they drink. Haven't you ever felt as if it's made you mad?

I dont like champagne much either, but it seems to be the traditional drink to have at parties and weddings etc.

Unfortunately my memory never goes and it ritually humiliates me the next day. Even as I type it is trying to convince me that I attended a wild shindig in murky settings with murky people and that I should be bracing myself for the, no doubt, embarrassing diary entries to come (they may already be there for all I can access the last ten) but I know it is only playing with my mind and I actually had an early night at home having watched some crap on TV. a couple of good points I notice in this thread: 1) the natural self comes out. I can be very introverted to the point of paranoia when sober and find myself suppressing comments or actions that I *want* to make but am inhibited by controlled upbringing or a natural shyness. I am envious of those that can speak their mind and that can be extroverted in day to day life as well as of those that are introverted but are comfortable with it. I need a few drinks before the real me appears. This can also be seen in those that get aggressive when drunk. It is only their suppressed aggression coming to the fore. My wife comes over to many people as 'stuck up' and 'cold'. It is only shyness. I know the *real* person but others will only see it after a few drinks or many years spent with her. There is a difference here, of course, in 'the real person coming out after a few drinks' and 'gettting so completely lashed that you fall over'. cough. 2) I forgot.

When I am drunk I find I have less fear about what I am saying. I communicate what I think and feel and talk without having to second guess everything I say. Sometimes being drunk is a form of release and I probably get louder and louder. But, I can also get depressed very easily and sometimes the come down from the high can be quite bad. I really hate that sometimes I drink too much and lose control over my ability to contain what I have drunk, and then I am sick. But on the other hand you also have to understand that if someone is basically scared of failing they can get screwed up a lot worse as a result. Before I split with my first serious girlfriend I was at a gig with her watching a friend's band play on stage and I had been drinking heavily because I knew I was losing her, that very soon we would be apart permanently. My friends coined a term for it, saying I was lovesick. Me, I sang "A Midnight Hour" to my girlfriend on the guitar the week before prior to me being up there singing with my band and we were so happy, and then the following week, love had died and I walked the streets alone like in that song by the Flamin's Groovies "I'll Cry Alone". After June 30 1982 nothing was the same again. I became an alter ego, hating everyone at first and then, in a moment of clarity realising that if I didn't stop I would be destroyed. So I became a much nicer person, caring for people as they were and not so I could have sex with them. I became the person that they could turn to and cry upon my shoulder as I helped them picked through the rubble of a dead romance and helped them feel better just by being there, as someone they could talk to. I dressed in black and stood to one side, watching and listening and seeing how other lives destroyed themselves in the confusion that is fancying somebody getting off with somebody having a one night stand breaking up

As I said, you have to know your limits. Being drunk is fun, being absolutely shitfaced, acting like a prat, upsetting people, hurting yourself, etc etc...is not fun. I can count the number of times I've been properly, falling over, blacking-out drunk on two fingers, and I'm pretty proud of myself for that. On the other hand, I've lost count of the number of times I've had to take care of my friends when they get too drunk to stand, speak, or in some cases, breath, and it's not my idea of a wild night out. Julia made herself sick from drinking once, and everyone else promptly excused themselves and headed for another pub, leaving muggins 'ere to sit with her while she puked all over the place (including on me), which resulted in me missing my bus, and having to fork out twenty quid to get us both home. Becky - best mate, love her dearly - often shows up on my doorstep in the middle of the night reeking of alcohol, pleading for a bed for the night. Basically, I think what I'm saying is that drinking and being drunk is all well and good, but you have to maintain some level of control, and if you can't then you shouldn't drink.

"I'm quite perfectionistic and in order to even come close to the standards I set for myself I have to try to control my life very strictly." what are these standards you set yourself? social? moral? and what do you feel might happen to you if you don't reach them?

I have a real problem with drinking. That doesn't mean a drinking problem! I've only ever been more than tipsy about four times which I think is fairly impressive for an 18-year-old. One of the times was last night. I'm quite an uptight, underconfident person, so a few drinks help me loosen up and be happier and more outgoing. In that sense, alcohol is a 'nice social lubricant.' The problem is that when you're sober you can clearly identify a sensible limit for yourself, yet when you're slightly pissed it seems like such a good idea to carry on drinking. I don't mix well with alcohol. It can give me odd chest pains but worse, panic attacks. I'm a control freak and after a while I hate knowing I'm drunk. If I get cold, I lose it. I had a dream the other night that I killed my brother and last night when I was freezing, I started shaking uncontrollably and actually thinking the dream had been real. I hadn't even had that much but experiences like that are enough to make me never want to get drunk again. Besides the fact that I really can't handle hangovers. I've never been sick but the thought that any minute I might chunder in public just isn't nice. I don't understand how people can see that the benefits of drinking to that point outweigh the costs. Do they not really mind feeling like crap afterwards? Every time I get drunk I end up feeling guilty, ashamed and miserable for the next few days. I'm not sure why. I know that most people don't have that kind of experience when they drink, but I still don't understand... my friend, who once vomited into a carrier bag (with a hole in it) on a bus on the way to work, still likes to drink and get drunk. Surely she didn't enjoy that, so why does she continue to drink a bit too much regularly? Drinking is tempting because it's good to start off with, but why do we never learn our lesson? Or at least, why does it take us so long to do so?

Emily, I'm prepared to bet that the things you've done under the influence pale in comparison to some of the things I've done! I get where you're coming from - I hate the way I act when I'm drunk, and I hate the person I become when I've had one too many, but then again, there's no harm in letting go every now and again.

I do enjoy a drink fairly often.. at least once a week. Rarely drink to excess.. but when I do it, these days, it is in the company of people I like and trust and usually in private as opposed to public places... Symptons.. looser tongue.. an irrepressible cheekiness.. yes even more argumentative and possibly more flirty.. more risk taking..I have never been in drunken fights so don't believe I get violent.. though have attempted more foolish things like clambering over high walls etc ...I drink alcohol to deliberately get more stupid (hopefully in a controlled way)... and so find it amazing when some claim drink or drugs somehow makes them better rounder people. I like to drink when I am happy and certainly avoid alcohol like the plague when I am low or have troubling unresolved issues about my mind... it is common sense and experience bears this out that your problems get worse in the short and longer term if you do this regularly (daily) as a strategy to avoid dealing with your issues... after a while the mind altering substances and experiences under them literally become substantial permanent brain patterns and it becomes an influential part of your personality... it becomes difficult to separate the workings of the normal brain from the drug influenced brain (addiction)... and the behaviour literally has to be unlearnt over a period of time... I did go without alcohol for a number of years in my later 20's possibly as a reaction against my earlier 20's when all the fun in our group seemed to revolve around copious amounts of alcohol.. It was difficult to adjust to some of the sillier stuff that passes for humour when one is pissed... but it was still possible to have a good time.. to my relief. Alcohol. Ok when you are in control of it and not the other way round. But how do you know you are in control (after all habits become you)? Well you have to rely on your friends and loved ones to tell you and have the self humility to at least consider it could be possibly be true. But then share a chilled bottle of white wine with a friend or loved one sitting by a hot sunny beach with a fresh seafood spread before you.. and feel the haze come over you. Sneak a couple glasses of deep red fruity wine before a classical music concert.. and bring tears to the eyes at the enhanced pleasure of Mozart... and you wonder why there are those that given the chance will abuse to excess anything that could be good and turn it to unrestrained vileness instead...

"come, come, good wine is a good familiar creature if it be well used; exclaim no more against it." (but admittedly it was Iago who said this).

Bit of both really. Most people have a great time and no problems with alcohol. when it gets out of hand and results in people spending all the house keeping on it, stealing it, getting the shakes when they can't get it, dying from liver damage from it, crashing their cars into innocent people, the parallels with class A narcotics are startling. Friday nights on Poole Quay are a nightmare when you see all the under age drinkers who see it as a competitive sport are all reelling around throwing up, falling over and generally being complete tossers give the anti drink lobby too much free ammunition. On the other side of the coin, A nice pint consumed in the sun at Wareham quay after a boat ride across the harbour is a pleasure I hope I never have to forgo.

The cause of - and solution to - life's problems?

solution jon?

It helps me! Well, sometimes ... if I can remember what the answer was when I wake up the following day ...

I don't get it really. I don't like being drunk. Tipsy is fine, just enough alcohol to make you giggly and cheerful, but drinking til you can't even stand, or speak, is just ludicrous.

I used to drink heavily last year. I had a lot of hang ups and I found that getting drunk made them go away. This year I don't drink much at all. When I do it depends on the circumstances. How nervous I am about a given situation, or how stressed I feel. I have a skinned elbow from resting it to hard on the table I was sitting at Saturday night. I may have a short from time to time or a glass of wine, but the days of buying crates of Stella and drinking four or five cans of an evening are long gone. I found it made depressed even more than I had been before I started drinking. On the plus side I become more garrullous when drunk so I tend to talk to more people. iceman

You, garrullous? Would never have noticed! Too much alcohol is not always a good thing. You have to know your limits. Otherwise you find yourself making friends with all sorts of unsavoury characters and stealing their glowsticks and snogging them and regretting it, and having them stalk you for the next year in the mistaken belief that being drunk makes you honest. And so forth.

Never really believed that drunken people are more honest, given the amount of guff I'm capable of spewing forth. A couple of drinks is certainly handy in getting me to talk to people though. The problem I really have is I've been out and then I come back home and check my email - the person receiving can't always tell they're receiving the late-night babblings of someone who's had too many. (A major problem is that my typing actually seems to improve.)

I dunno.. I find it hard to stop once I start.. I'll jus drink myself into a delirium. Sometimes lasting for days.. and after when I come down from it - I can feel real rough man.. sick and not very physically strong. I don't know why I'm like this.. I can stop any other drug; apart from alcohol and nicotine. I don't think it's a bad drug.. I don't think any drug is bad or evil. It's just the human mind; a complex complicated structure; we sometimes feel the need to alter it a bit and open it up, explore it. Also one of the things that seems to seperate us from the animals is self-consciousness, and I feel maybe that plays a part in it too. Like that story in the bible about Adam and Eve. They ate fromt eh tree of knowledge and realised they were naked. No other animals on earth wear clothes. I think self-consciousness has helped us to achieve many great things; but it has also been our downfall tragically. Sometimes we can get introvert and find it hard to come out of our shells. Drugs can help us to get out of this mindset. Help us escape the dullness of our material 9-5 lives. Help us unwind, relax- take our minds off our worries and concerns. The danger is when you start to feel like you can't function in social situations unless you've had a drink or a wrap of speed or anything that helps you feel more confident and uninhibited. I don't really understand where this fear of communication comes from.. it's tragic really; but a common thing amongst people nowadays I'm finding. Things go dark though if you start to rely on any chemical to get you through life. The key is balance and balance isn't easy. I don't think alcohol is bad; and according to health studies a little bit each day is good for you. Not too much though. I think it's that self-descructive part to our nature which is evil. We need to know when to stop; when to apply the brakes. For some reason the human species doesn't care about it's downfall, like the way we're using up the planets resources, pollution etc etc. Nobody really cares about this.. it's all apathy. And for some reason within us is the seeds for our own self-destruction. It has always been there.. part of our nature.. like the Romans all went mad in the end.. building their water pipes out of lead.. sent them all crazy and wiped them out; it's the same story throughout history.. the spiral into self-destruction. All great civilizations eventually topple and fall. And sometimes I think it can happen in our individual lives, there can be a shadowy part to ourselves, that wants it's own destruction. I don't know why.. I have it in me too, sometimes it's strong and I really spiral. Finding I have to pick myself up from the dirt in a right state and try to climb back up again. When love is soaring, then you have healing within you. You want the best for everything. And so instead of destruction you are creative. It's almost like within every soul is this struggle between love and hate. I think all the good and evil in this world comes from the heart of mankind. Animals can't understand these concepts like we do. That's why they are all naked and we aren't.

I've grown up with alcohol. Born and brought up in pubs, working in clubs etc. I saw the dark side of booze outside my bedroom window very Saturday night throughout my formative years. Stabbings, beatings, loud, lengthy arguments at full volume that were only brought to a stop on more than one occasion by a nine year old voice shouting, "Will you two shut up, I've got school in the morning!!!". I've stepped over more puke in the cold light of day than the set dresser on "The Excorcist". Alcohol is the second worse chemical you can put in your bloodstream after pure Heroin and yet it's legal. AND QUITE RIGHTLY TOO. Alcohol doesn't kill people, stupidity and weakness kills people. The same can be said of anything that gets blamed for society's ills. Alcohol is blamed as the root cause of the majority of domestic violence and petty crime. The 'One Excuse covers all' get out of jail free card is..."I was drunk". I've been there (see the Just Good Friends thread) but I never said I wasn't to blame or, more importantly, that I was acting out of character because I was drunk. We are all fully accountable for our actions at all times and anyone who is described as a lovely bloke (but don't let him have a drink) is really that nasty a*sehole that we all excused for glassing the old lady in the street because it wasn't him, it was the drink. well. NEWSFLASH! alcohol will stay in a bottle doing no harm to anyone if left to it's own devices. It can't get in your system unless it's put there. It's about as capable of evil as my toaster is of playing for Man United. If you want to get to know the real person, get them drunk and take notes. However different they are when sober is just a cover. Anyone reading this who thinks I'm insensitive to the issues around aocohol abuse and it's place in society may be right. I've lost family members to alcohol and I still drink a lot. every night. I also smoke pot and, in the past, I've taken a plethora of illegal substances but, at no time was I ever someone else. I like alcohol, it's the idiots that give it a bad name that piss me off.

well, Emily, first your sister, and now your poor brother too. as a matter of interest, is it just members of your family you dream about killing, or do you like to spread your net more widely?! "I'm a control freak..." hm. how come? you're afraid of what you'll be like if you let go? afraid of translating some of these dark fantasies into action? please explain.

Life would be very dull without it. As it would be without any drugs, war, natural disasters, murders, cars, pollution and people. I like drinking, and sometimes it worries me that I could become addicted to it, but only because then I'd have to give it up, and the thought of never being able to enjoy the occasional night out with a few drinks strikes me as sheer hell. Actually that frightens me as well. Can I not enjoy myself without alcohol? Well, yes, but it's nice to have the option.

I love pubs, but I hardly drink at all now. Pubs are too smoky for me in the evening and our once regular weekend pub school convenes only fitfully these days. It's rare that I'll even think of having a whisky at home. Jean doesn't drink and there's nothing more boring than boozing on your own. Alcohol is a drug and there are individuals who are temperamentally inclined toward drug abuse. Alcohol is legal and pretty much socially acceptable and because of this it is, whatever the tabloids say, the drug problem that causes the most grief for friends, family and the general public. The central question is how are we to help people so desperate they feel the need to lose themselves habitually in intoxication? The alcoholics I've known have continued to drink through everything, driving bans, failed marriages, illness etc. Trying to reason with them hasn't done any good. It's very sad.

I've cut down as I got older. Seen too many casualties around me, and some of them don't even admit they're victims. Had too many hangovers and started to remember them more vividly. (that's how i managed to cut down) I've seen people successfully escape alcohol's clutches, but at a price. It's hard when you plan to stand back forever and watch other people loosening up. I don't think that alcohol or any drug is the demon. A drug is someone you have to treat the right way, and if you don't get on with that person, just say hello in passing rather than start a conversation. The real bastard is addiction. Actually I disagree - cigs are a demon! and I will soon be taking drugs for that.

The answer depends upon who's drinking it. For most people, alcohol in small quantities once in a while in a social setting is a social lubricant. For others, they would be well advised to stay away from it all together. Unfortunately, you never know which is which up front, and by the time you find out, it's can already be a problem.

Booze has never been a problem to me. I did the teenage getting pissed, chucking up, missing the party and waking up stinking like a cess pool thing, but like most people grew out of it when I realised that the drunk never got the girl. As it happens I never got her anyway, but at least I was able to focus on the bastard that did! Smoking was a terrible addiction, but thankfully I've cracked that, and haven't smoked for 18 years now. I feel sorry for those that resort to patches etc to conquer fags, because the only real way to do it is be determined and just 'do it', and believe they are being exploited by greedy drug companys. The thing that worries me these days is the kids have the benefit of all the latest research on drink, drugs and smoking and yet seem not to give a damn about the damage they are doing to their health. I'll still happily sip a brandy in good company (but like Tom see no point in drinking alone), but as those here that know me will testify, I ain't a 'drinker'.

I've not got drunk yet, I don't want to for some time either- I'm scared stiff by the idea as I don't know how I'd behave. It really annoys me the way some teenagers boast excessively about drinking, like it's a competition to see just how drunk they can get. With some of them it's what they spend most of the time talking about: "Oh I was so drunk the other night, I can't remember a THING," and then there was a boy I know who said "I haven't stopped being drunk for the past few months!" which is a pathetic boast and an unbelievable exaggeration. Mind you he's the type to exaggerate everything. I do like some alchoholic drinks though, Amarula, Port, Sherry, and Martini mixed with lemonade are nice, especially Amarula. Still don't like wine, and I can manage champagne but I'm not too keen. :)

My Grandfather was an alcoholic and died about a month after I was born aged fifty from liver damage. My parents have wine with their meal every night and the odd tipple but never go to pubs because neither smoke and they hate the smell. They are "moderate drinkers" and do use it as a social lubricant. I started my drinking life as a teenager and the first time I got really pissed I drank a litre of Thunderbird and was sick for about six hours! Every time I drank after that I ended up being sick despite trying many different combinations of the sauce!As a student I would regularly have to go home, be ill, lie down for a bit and then go out again. I don't know if I'm allergic or what but I can get to that "happy drunk" after my first couple of drinks but any more and then I know I'm going to be sick. I'm not bulimic! I just don't experience the "joy of drink" as most of my friends seem to. I still drink when I go out but have to be careful after the first couple and start drinking water for a bit. It sounds pathetic but it does sometimes feel like a bit of a social handicap! One of my friends is an alcoholic and I only really realised the extent when he came to stay with me for a week once in Hong Kong. He was staying in the lounge and without us knowing he drank all the flat supplies - 2 litres of vodka most of a bottle of Jack Daniels and a bottle of Bailey's. They weren't even mine and I was really embarassed when my flatmate and his girlfriend went to have a drink and there were only empty bottles left. When he is sober this guy is really sweet but when he's really drunk he becomes like a zombie- stumbling around muttering to himself- staring inot the distance- but he can keep going for days. I think he has chosen alcohol as his drug of choice but that's because it is socially acceptable and he knows he's probably be dead by now if he'd tried heroin. he's got some inner turmoil that isn't related to the alcohol but the alcohol has now become the most obvious problem.

a close friend of mine is an alcoholic, we left college at the same time, and all moved to london, I lived with him for 4 years or so, and at the time we were still drinking as we had done as students...a lot...this continued and he descended into benders which lasted several days, his work suffered, and he took the decision to leave the percieved source of his drinking problem....London we all tried talking to him but initially he wouldn't listen, then the secret drinking started.. he is receiving counselling now, and is with aa, but it is a struggle for him and he has fallen from grace a couple of times..he seems to be on the mend now not sure what my point is...i think he used it as a crutch to get him through social situations and then found he couldn't get through thse situations without it.....

As I said earlier I was drinking heavily last summer. I used to drink to reach an artificial high, and I tried to stay there as long as possible. I spent hours and hours online in this state talking to people and posting messages. But after a while I found that I couldn't get to the same high as before unless I drank even more. I think a couple of days in a row I started at lunchtime and just kept going (I was on leave at the time, mind you). But I stopped when i realised it was destroying me and I wasnt having fun anymore. iceman

Control freaks use their control to bolster themselves. They love organizing and running things to a pattern. In turn this gives them stability. Introduce alcohol and the stability goes, sometimes literally. ** The dream suggests that you have buried issues with your brother which you may need to resolve. ** You shouldn't feel guilty Emily. I don't. If I did I would be running scared of what people think of me. Sometimes we drink too much and then we are sick, it is a natural reaction to overdoing something, in the same way as working hard for long hours makes us knackered. *** I think sometimes we use alcohol as a lubricant as fish says purely to overcome our inner fears about meeting people we have never met before, or compensating for a situation we find unpleasant.

Sorry for going on and on last time. I didn't realise how much I was writing until it was up. I think everyone knows that alcohol can be abused or enjoyed but do you think that people who are alcoholics are tolerated/ sympathised with a lot more than people who have the same nervous illness/ addictive personality and use food or drugs as their crutch ?

the use of alcohol is tolerated and even applauded ... look how some of us portray ourselves as gin sodden as if it is some kind of badge to wear with pride ... i know i am guilty of this ... it's ironic too as these days i don't often drink ... i have used alcohol as an emotional crutch in the past ... and it felt good at the time to obliterate emotional pain by the application of vast amounts of booze ... i dont find drunks funny ... i think i dislike anything that gets in the way of good communication ... excess drinking and getting stoned do impair communication with the added bonus of the drinker's inflated confidence in themselves as the next oscar wilde ... i think it is tolerated more than other dependencies janey ... encouraged even ... but its a sobering thought when you work in a prison and someone tells you that the mass of inmates have been banged up for alcohol related crimes ... i like the idea of having a couple of drinks ... and sometimes more than a couple (*thinks of liana's party*) but the most worrying thing i find about other people is when they lose their memories ... that i find appalling ... but then maybe i am just a control freak ... eh?

I lose my memory - all the time. It is frightening when someone comes up to you the day after and asks, "do you *remember* what you did last night?" and you don't have the first clue. But my remembering isn't dependent on how much I drink - it can go on half a pint or I can keep it all evening. Drunks aren't funny. Being in a tipsy crowd enjoying themselves is great fun and being set free by having a couple of drinks is a great feeling but ... well we all know the but...

it's really funny if you ask kids what adults look like when they are drunk. they all sway and stagger and hit people and fall over! is that what they really see? Most young kids hate it when their parents get drunk as they "change". I don't have any kids myself but it's what i've noticed. What do you lot think?

Both actually Emily, they feed off each other. We both get drunk for the wrong reasons, in my case it is either to be sociable because you can hardly turn around and say, actually I'm not drinking tonight because afterwards I shall throw up everywhere, pass out and feel like crap the following morning. Or because I am compensating for being a stranger in a strange land. Its the alien feeling you get just before you realise that they will let you in instead of keeping you outside in the dark. And then you have a few drinks and in a fit of gabbling away make some comment or other which you immediately regret. You cannot edit what you say once its been said. Sometimes you may wish to select a whole paragraph of your life and delete it, but its not possible. So its the same, we both get drunk in the company of people we know, or know a little about and then regret what we do or say. And panic or worry about what happened. And incidentally, whatever the case may actually be, I was saying be brave, because I am brave as well, even though I am scared. As a couple of people have just pointed out.

Champagne is the work of the devil. Aside from gin, it's possibly the most disgusting tasting of all alcoholic drinks.

As I have said before my Mum was a barmaid all her life also I have worked behind the bar, she had a saying when the drinks in the wits out and I think she just about got it right. Sadly it didn't stop me landing on the end of a drunken punch many times from my Irish husband, lovely man when he was sober would always take me shoping when the shops were closed................happy days.............life was never dull........