30,000 on the way

'99.6% is junk...' That is truly a terrible thing to say. I'm chuffed to bits with myself for finally plucking up the courage to write something AND post it on this site. I really wished I hadn't have read that particular post. Have an event-thingie or a competition to celebrate 30,000 mark. Oh and make sure you involve balloons and cake.

Hows about 30,000 cakes with poems written in marzipan, and 30,000 candles on each cake? Now that would be Cake of the Week!

Ralph and Missi in a nude mud wrestling match.

Can i delete the above? *Packs bags and heads for Cuba*

You're out of luck flash, I don't do gays, don't knows, embarrassing name droppers, self-obsessed twats or Bazzos.

That doesn't leave you much scope then Missus

I'm likely to be in Venice when it happens so enjoy the moment. Mark knows what to do. (Make it up lad, that's what i do)

Your horizons are obviously much narrower than mine then Jeff, as I have more than enough scope to cope with.

What's a Bazzo? Or rather who IS Bazzo?

For the uninformed, the term 'Bazzo' is an insulting reference to those hailing from Basildon, Essex. The female variety are those responsible for the infamous 'Essex girl' accolades heaped upon the red-skirted, white winklepickered, peroxide slappers who drop their chips when they have an orgasm. The male variety are conspicuous by their yobs No.2 haircuts, tattoos, lager breath, lack of brains, willingness to buy a bag of chips for anything with a hole amongst their pubic hair and then cause them to drop them, frequently bi-sexual (as a result of not knowing what they're supposed to be) and not being aware that practically everyone else in the land finds them obnoxious bores. They believe that when you're at the bottom, the only way is up!

Why not give a packet of jaffa cakes to the person who posts the 30,000 piece of work?

Sounds a bit too classy for me.

I think I speak on behalf of my people, Mrs Pissi, that WE wouldn't do YOU if you were the last vacant hole on Earth. But we enjoyed your mental undressing, so thanks for baring us in mind. (I know, he won't get it.)

Obnoxious bores! Heaven forbid, Missi!

Fine stuff ... now let's go for real originality. let your creative juices flow free...

how about delete everything and start again?

A commemorative Hawaian shirt with 30,000 fluffy white clouds. Tallbloke could model it.

'how about delete everything and start again?' I know you're trying to be facetious, but that idea really appeals to me. Like Hemmingway losing two suitcases containing all his early work and having to start from scratch.

I don't know how to be facetious. I think it's a good idea. It would remove the false pride and apathy instilled by the ridiculous cherry picking system and sweep away all the useless crap that has accumulated here. 30,000? So what? 99.6% of it is junk anyway.

One man's junk is another man's treasure. What about an anthology? ;-)

How about 30,000 red baloons (with ABCTales Logo) let loose somewhere conspicuous, each with a return label containing a story name and author. Prize to the author whose label is returned from farther distance. Haven't a clue how expensive this would be, but there's enough hot air in the forums to fill 30,000 balloons.

free cake for all? No, I just want cake. I quite like the balloon idea.... maybe some writing contests... or challanges? Something for charity? Writing an ABCtales rap (that would just be funny). Anyway, cheap and cheerful ideas.