teatime by Mikepyro
Mon, 2006-05-22 20:50
#1
teatime by Mikepyro
http://www.abctales.com/story/mikepyro/teatime-0
a nasty little tale! But a good read, wasn't sure how you would end it, but you did it well a powerful last image.
just one point - the pace slows when you describe the woman in the shop - try and incorporate the description in her actions. 'As she spoke her face remained smooth and unlined' and if i am being really picky i don't think the lips like red wine worked, but just my opinion.
Juliet
Give me the beat boys and free my soul! I wanna getta lost in ya rock n' roll and drift away. Drift away...
Give me the beat boys and free my soul! I wanna getta lost in ya rock n' roll and drift away. Drift away...
Give me the beat boys and free my soul! I wanna getta lost in ya rock n' roll and drift away. Drift away...
Give me the beat boys and free my soul! I wanna getta lost in ya rock n' roll and drift away. Drift away...