Am I a whining bitch?

Jackie Thanks for the vote of confidence. xxx Liana I wasn't being defensive re the Shakespeare comment, I was saying what I really think! There aren't any geniuses here, that's not being bitchy for christs sake it's the truth! I'm not attacking anybody! You may know who I'm talking about but I don't because no one tells who he/she/it is! One thing I do know however is that to have a brain the size of a planet requires either a very small planet or an abnormally big head, either way I've never been impressed by intelligence without humility. The prat to the right you are a liar, you do hide behind pseudonyms, you are not the only person using that server, in fact I was wrongly identified as Finn by the same method you advocate here. I doubt whether even with your 'planet sized brain' you could 'dunce' me anyway and I couldn't care less whether you or anybody else reads my stuff, neither was I 'shocked' at the childish behaviour of other brain-dead individuals. In the unlikely event that you come out of hiding and join real society I may eventually come to think of you as a person of honour instead of the pathetic person you seem intent on being.

taj! ... you are a super sleuth! .... *shouts up to pedestal* .. hey princess ... how about we recruit taj too????

*sigh* then why stay at all??????

I've stayed because I actually like other people believe it or not, I just don't get too carried away with my own value to society. I like to be friends with everybody but that doesn't mean I have to put up with crap. And that last comment wasn't aimed at you!

>>>> no one has endured more in their life than I have and in the main I laugh along with the piss-takers. >>>> oh for goodness sake, get off the horse Pope Pius so we can crucify you, then you might become the martyr of stupidity and angst, a job description that is easily within your means. i suppose you were there at the holocaust, or maybe gave jesus a kiddyback up golgotha? if so, send an sae to amnesty international right away, you deserve nothing less than canonization. >>>> I doubt whether even with your 'planet sized brain' you could 'dunce' me anyway >>>> if i did have a planet sized brain (which i dont, but thanks anyway liana), would my effort not be wasted on such a menial task? honestly, that sentence smacks of the highest arrogance, since you are inferring that you are as smart as someone with a planet-sized brain? im sure the reason why people say that i am smart is because i take the time to think through what i am going to say, hence the pseudonyms when i sometimes feel a bit provocative or silly through alcohol or medication. you do deserve to enter a canon, right enough, just not the one you are aiming at old chap. for the uninformed, richard watt

What I want to know is, what's happened to Missus 'Ippie?

Richard What? more likely!

Definitely Fishwife!! Deserves a bleedin medal that one!!

M, think you should decide for yourself: you can get people's goats if you want to (and it looks like you do, with terms like "patronising prats" etc). re: my firing range comment - i agree that it was brave of you to start this thread. i just think that it is cowardly of you to only ever contribute the same sort of remarks in all the others. that's why i challenged you (invited would have been a better word) to post something positive - i was also hoping that that could be an escape route for you; an opportunity to *prove* that you're not a whining bitch.

And if you had thought through what you were goig to say you would have realised that far from assuming I was as smart as a person with a planet sized brain I was actually saying that YOU don't have a brain any bigger than anybody else, and it seems largely disfunctional!

I don't really care what you think, and I don't actually feel the need to justify myself to a twerp like you but as a man of my word I will go along with whatever the majority of users want me to do, why don't you use your planet sized brain to get sufficient support to get me to leave the site permanantly?

now this is just getting pointless. if you really want to denigrate me, i would prefer you emailed me: go on, click my name up there. there isn't any point in slander on a writing site, and i don't really need any of this. it isn't about winning ot losing an argument, miss, because there is no argument. i might well be wrong (it happens) in thinking you are a whiner, but i'd rather not trade insults because, regardless of brain size, i am above that. my cranium is the same size as everyone else's, the brain within i am sure is functioning fairly well despite the damage i do to it by reading your guff. my iq is well within acceptable standards i am sure, nothing special. similarly, i have feelings much like everyone else. granted, i might be setting myself up for a fall here, but rather that than force everyone else to read this pointless rubbish. largely, i couldn't care less if you remained on the site, you don't bother me as long as you don't set out to annoy everyone else. oh, i've been called richard what more than a few thousand times, each time it does seem more witty than the last, and yes i am actually trying to contain my innards from spilling out the seams of my belly, such is the eruption of laughter from within.

I would agree this dialogue is pointless and I may be wrong in thinking you're a patronising bighead, if that is the case I apologise but you have been making out a good case for yourself. I can assure you that your crap is just as debilitating as mine so if we could come to an agreement whereby you stop being so bloody pretentious and I stop being objectionable we may both recover good health and learn to tolerate each other.

i can see this becoming a vicious circle, where i will start a thread asking "am i a pretentious bitch?". i'm going to stop it now by actually denying it to start with. pretense is when someone doesn't actually know what they are talking about, or "pretends". i'm a nineteen year old, still at uni, unpublished, little chance of being so if i tried, willing to have a laugh and give other people constructive criticism and indulge in a little talk about things that arent usually discussed at the pubs i frequent. this is a friday night, i am giving up the companionship of dear friends to have some nice chats and maybe learn something from this site. if my sureness comes across as arrogance then im sorry that i am so confident, i have had that levelled at me every so often. it is plainly obvious that mostly it is due to the discomfort that some people feel when they realise that someone half their age or less can quite capably "flip them off" in an argument, or might know how to express themselves better and without insult. remember how you felt when quite capable of serious discussion, but were ignored in the "intelligent" company of those your senior? you might complain that this is not so, but can you really say with much honesty that you would call someone your age (and accordingly, mental stature) an, ahem, "twerp"?

There you go again, I don't need English language lessons from you. I accept that you are smart but one of the lessons in life you have yet to learn is that a little humility goes a long way, you don't have to let your confidence be interpreted as conceit, if you do in the end people will dislike you. I shall not be replying anymore to this ridiculous discussion so if you feel the need, have the last word.

Mississippi, You have but one ounce of talent, yet you deflect 1000 more worthy than yourself from their true labours. Sod off you useless git. My address is in the book.

you're all barking up the wrong tree! this the fastest growing thread there's been on here, perhaps the bitch deserves some sympathy after all!

I can't think of one good reason for wanting your address, and it may be that my one ounce of talent is one more than you have.

Mississippi, I take your head in my warm hands and I kiss your cheeks. You are a man, a man without a plan. A man without a plan can't stand. You are a reactor to imagined spite. Stick your head out of the window and shout at the ever growing traffic, the response will be more favourable to your aching soul.

i must say that all we here at the fan club are up in arms at the suggestion that "our eddie" has one less ounce of talent than mississippi we are considering a protest march

course you're not. A bit snappy, but compared with some of the people on the Shane Macgowan sites you're Lassie material.

I'll give you this Mississippi - you are a great entertainer. Have you ever been to a real Writers' Workshop? I would love to have heard you ranting. Actually, you're not a useless git - you are useful grit that irritates the rest of the Talers into producing pearls. So don't sod off Mississippi, just flow away now and again to give us a break. To prove your usefulness, and to keep your publicity machine well oiled, I propose a chain poem in your honour. I'll start it off. So come forth ye thin men of Haddam! 13 (or so) Ways of Looking at the Mississippi i) among a thousand real writers there was but a single typist.

God, you leave the forums for one evening and everything kicks off! I have missed Missi a bit during his weeks silence, but some of the complainers have made good points. I can tolerate the odd caustic comment, but I am sure that Missi has also got something valuable to say from time to time. (BTW Missi, in my experience when summing up for defence it isn't a good idea to have a go at the jury...) I don't think Richard W has ever claimed on his own behalf to be intelligent - others have made that deduction from the fact that his contributions are thoughtful. If the multiple low-voting has occurred (and I know that it has in the past following disputes on these forums) I find that more than a little disappointing. This is all getting a bit personal now - on both sides.

quite right andrew ... i dare not ever go out again ...

I am sorry if I offended anybody's sensibilities. I was a little 'tired and emotional' last night. It was an attempt to defend some of my fellow contributors from this incessant sniping. I do think Mississippi makes a valuable contribution, so I retract the 'useless git' jibe and apologise to Mississippi for my very poor etiquette. That said, I invite you all to continue the 13 Ways poem. Also, any publicity is good publicity. Have you read my… And don't forget - It's e-CABARET!

*sees name mentioned in favourable light, wakes up* Thank you for those kind words, way back, Liana. I think everyone should take note that it was Liana herself who answered my plea for someone to paste the story into the Discussion site. All that talent (I seriously mean that) AND a great sense of humour. Liana, you are truly a Princess. Right up there with Ivory. Do you gals fancy a conny-onny butty in Ta Chucks? I'm feeling irresponsible...

Having read your work mississipi I have to say that it is not my cup of tea. However I am sure other people like it and if you are proud of it then that is all that matters. I wouldn't ever judge your writing as my poetry is not up to the standard I wish it to be yet. However, the point of me contributing to this discussion thread is that I am so shocked that so many intelligent people waste their time with such immature debate. What does it matter that people rate your work as one star? If you are comfortable with your work then that is all that matters. The reason I put work up was to give myself some sort of satisfaction at contributing to something and also to receive some constructive criticism. I will however come to Richard's defence. I go to university with Richard and am quite close to him. He is the most intelligent perceptive person I know and yet he does not boast about this fact. Many of his mates and people we go to university with would be quite shocked at his level of intelligence. Mainly because he wastes time making jokes and talking about WWF and what not :-) sorry Richard!! I am sorry that you felt the need to defend yourself but maybe if you were a little less confrontational and a lot more constructive then people would treat you with more respect. What you need to understand is that by placing poetry on this site people give up a part of themselves and therefore are very serious about what people think of it. So sarcastic or funny comments can hurt some people. Hope you don't take too much offence from this. Also sorry for the length of the post!! Sarah.

so .. i hate to harp on .. but IS there an outcome to all this?

Yes!!!! Me mate's just got two tickets for the UEFA Cup Final. Liverpool v Alaves. Yess!!! If that isn't an outcome, I don't know what is!!! Sod this writing lark - I'm off to Dortmund!!! That will be after the FA Cup Final in Cardiff. Liverpool v Arsenal. Look out for me 30ft x 30ft banner saying: 'Jesus Saves, But Hilda Hairnets The Rebound!' I challenge any of you so-called poets to pen anything finer than: 'Tell me ma, me ma, to put the champagne on ice. We're going to Cardiff twice Tell me ma, me ma.' or He's Czech, he's great, he's Paddy Berger's mate Vladimir! Vladimir! I also refer you to the splendid poem by the sadly departed Adrian Henri: Football Poem / Goodbye Poem You never wore Cologne

They're Scouse They're gits They get right on yer tits But a class Above the Arse :op Food poem / Hello poem I am a doughnut luv n kisses XXX

how about: there's only one davie bowman, one davey bowman! as sung by me upon forfar not being relegated today, what a joyous occasion. as for all the earlier stuff, sorry for existing, i will shortly shuffle off the mortal coil to everyone's relief yadda yadda.

That's a satisfactory outcome for me. I will be cheering on the scallies against Alaves and against the Arse, but that will be the end of the ceasefire. And, although Teddy had a cracking start to the season, and although I used to babysit for him long long ago, I still think Steven Gerrard should have won Player of the Season as well as Young Player of the season. And how Henry got into the PFA side ahead of Heskey is beyond me. Surely most improved player of all time ? Lincoln didn't get relegated either - sadly the evil Torquay squeaked out again on the last day, but quite nice to see back of Barnet.

(I meant for his son Charlie.For the record, I never looked after Edward Sheringham when he was a child, because I was not yet born. )

Nice one about Stevie Gerrard, Andy. If it wasn't you, who was it who dropped baby Teddy on the head ? You're not a Plastic Manc, are you?

Nottingham is also near Lincoln. (As I suspect you know Mersey, as you are an East Midlander yourself...)

Polling closes in 24 hrs!

Richardw Davie Winters, Andy Cargill & Willie Stewart are a bit useful. Glad to see there will be Second Division football at Station Park again next season. Bring on Hamilton! Please stay with us Richard, we need your poems to rouse the troops for next season's campaign. Who knows, you could become the Jim Leishman of ABC Tales!

*crochets doilie*

Clive EVERTON, Doughnut Poem / Divvy Poem You are not a doughnut, you're a divvy. xxx? Three draws in a row. Best run the Toffees had all season.

You're becoming more like mrs hip every day with those insults! Sorry eddie, I thought you would see through the thin guise. I dislike everton nearly as much as the arse. The doughnut was a reference to Kennedy in Berlin when the wall went up.

IFB Crochets Doilie would be a good signing for Forfar, seeng ows he's on a Bosman. He's struggled to get a place in the Real Tachucks starting line up due to a gammy knee problem incurred whilst playing for Cameroon against Azerbaichuck. A great coup if Neil Cooper can pull it off (figuratively speaking).

Stormy Everton, I wasn't at the Berlin game, due to being 'tired and emotional'. Was it Ray Kennedy or Alan Kennedy? Probably Alan - he looks like he ate all the doughnuts. No, no, I remember now - it was Ray. He curled a beauty over the wall and smack into the onion bag. Keeper didn't sniff it.

what was the verdict?

Well I, for one, find your postings highly entertaining. Never did take you seriously, either - but then I rarely take anything seriously... Thumbs up from me, then...next? ps. My name really IS Andrea (sort of). Gonna check it out?