Homely Countryside Poetry

Rumours concerning the tale wagging the dog have proved unfounded. Poodle spokeswoman said "Its rot" while her canine teeth were bared. "Homely countryside poetry will always have a cherry tree to put an uplifting leg against" she confirmed in a panollama interview. "I really don't know what all the fuss is about" - Anton Checkov, declining the offer from ABC, claimed he had enough problems picking his own. Former soap star, Legs Hagger, was unavailable for comment but, according to friends, has privately expressed concerns about the new wave of terrierism engulfing La site d'ill. Scooby Doo.

Oh poodle, just beware of all Frank Zappa lyrics for he tells us: "the poodle bites, come on Frenchie" and on and on. Stick to llamas!

re homely medicine i hear that a belladonna crumble is really quite delectable, i should try it if i were you. sorts out foot in mouth sharpish. hope tat's helpful to you. sincerely sad deranged.

if that doesnt work me and the lads in the north could come down with some pies and whippets and play a game with unappreciative llama.haha.

Oh go on all you lovely people with such a lot of things to say... write some poetry, include a leaf or two, a twig here and there, and some mud. You'll wonder why you never tried it earlier.

ivory where's your biog?is your life a fabrication? we are such stuff as dreams are made of.go on tell us about the real you. if music be the food of love...he had multiple personalities too.reality slice off to wash hair.other half on way..relief

am i to assume from the remark above that you believe me to be the Spritely Llama ... i assure you i am not ... neither am i most other people who post from AOL ... tho i know who they are .... *looks about dangerously* the real me can be found in my work *she announces grandly* as for biogs ... well ... they make me feel slightly uncomfortable ...

*running for cover but stopping to chew some tasty bark on the way*

yes .. i should think you WOULD scamper up the crest too ...

I tell you what.. we llamas know how to enjoy ourselves. I note with pride and joy that several homely countryside pieces have now appeared on ABC tales. Hoorah!

Dear Sprite, Whilst not wishing to blow my own trumpet, I would like to draw your attention to my story (yes, not a poem, sadly, but needs must) "Life is But a Dream' , which I consider to be a homely, uplifting work, dedicated to all things rural...plant and pondlife get a look-in too...

in spring tra la la i sing tra la la la la tra la la la ma summer is the sum of the rural sunny days spent reading hardy autumn's falling leaves i feel like i have won the llama lottery only one leaf left i've eaten all my windfalls gasping for a fag winter howling in everywhere is white except where it is not white

llama is sleepy tossing and turning all night must fix my hammock llama holiday but no beachball no playmate heart sad as a leaf llama football match not much fancy foowork just stick it on me ‘ead! llama car broken into a pity no car allama fitted llama’s mama is visiting llama today tidy flat hide stash llama watch tv how to cook leaves sadly not how to fix hammocks

llama deep in trough of despond chewing gum has lost its flavour llama listens to a political broadcast thinks must get a life llama is looking for pastures new needs a change the ashtray is full llama in gladrags elf and unicorn bash drinks pina collama llama is flummoxed in polling booth can’t decide votes for everyone

these haikus definitely should have cherries ...

for the trees to be green all the leaves must be green old llama saying 11am llama oversleeps again llama’s long lie in llama’s computer has Illyama monitor and intellamouse llama is aghast at culling and burning in the british empyre llama wonders why business lunches are free but pencils cost money llama astronaut the first alpaca in space interstellama! llama is amused at writers wanting cherries hark! the leaf! the crest!

read story andrea found it funny especially elsie, bernie wasnt tho i have known people die of alcohol.pity your writing is fuelled by hatred. as for herbs they have no magical powers except for healing ie monks used them.

i've had pain in neck all week, tried putting slippery elm on it but it turned into dutch elm disease.all this new ageism is the product brainwashed minds.wont be returning to this forum better things to do.so you can carry on snapping at air.

Oh dear, I seem to have upset Light and Dark. Sorry, Fairy, that you think my writing is 'fuelled by hatred', 'cos nothing could be further from the truth. Apart from anything else, I wouldn't waste my energy on such a negative and unproductive emotion. ps. Surely healing IS a magical power?

heavens to betsy what was all THAT about??? ... i don't think andrea's work is fuelled by hatred ... steady on there cupcake ...

Thanks Fish, Besides, there was no indication (in the story) that Bennie was an alcoholic, or even a particularly heavy boozer. He's just a lazy git who enjoys a few jars, is all...much to the annoyance of his long-suffering ma.

three priorities vegetation vegeta tion vegetation

Thank you for the haikus, I was recommended them by Ivoryfishbone, and much cheered by their funniness... am rather dull at present , llama malaise, haikus can help.

we hope the malaise abates pronto. we hope the dullness susides. no, this isn't a poem. we hope you're sprightly at least twice nightly soon.

susides + b = subsides

T'a Ch'ucks

Take your leaves Chew inedible bark Bark indelible commas Pieces be with you *bows* ...leaps gladly away

harken unto the crest! is The Sprightly One among us once more!? unworthy i ! unworthy we !

I have heard that the Llama is Dead. Lying unnoticed atop the mossy brow of Bentangaval, where no mortal cares to tread lest they have to bury the beast in a sacred place and the fairies might get them. We are willing to perform the necessary deed for a small consideration and a few cups of hot tea, if a boat can be found to get us to our destination and Mervin can borrow someone's cagoul for the trip.

I'm flexible.

no pressure....

If there are any llamas who are feeling depressed by all the Odes to Faerie out there- Take heart from this thread and for goodness sake please do not despair- There are those of us on this site who really, really, really certainly care- For you pushmepullyou types of creature with you short cropped fur- So reach for your phones and dial with your noses or toeses and bare- Your souls to one of our trained operatives who will expertly repair- Your shattered dreams, your broken hearts and domestic appliances manufactured by Frigidaire.

THE PERSISTENCE OF MAMMARY I see Catalonian catafalques of llamas! Quinqueremes of llamas! I, Dali! I, Llama! Come to Dali, all llamakind! I will suckle at the teets of momma llama! Comeback quick, O Gala llama! My brush is pregnant with oil.

Gala llama, there is a place for you In my two headed dream Where llamas dance until dawn By the tallest cliff

am I dreaming this thread? slap me again someone. perhaps that wasn't an aspirin I had earlier. ahhh there goes a camel .... but it hasn't got the hump.

Phhhhalllummph!!!! Can't even step outside nowadays without tripping over Pesky Llamas spouting drivel about spiritual havens by the seaside....Bah!

Spritely Liama, If that is the cliff of spab you're dancing by, be careful what you tread in!

Yes, llamas leap, and they chase dogs. Am not scared by substances on any Cliff.

For this is not written in the Elven Runes? If ye of Elves and Fairies speak Ye will be told to shut your beak. And should a cherry you receive Let all the decent writers grieve. Ever shall it be so!

My philosophy is: Muse on a hilltop and you will never want. I don't actually believe in fairies. Leaves are narrow In the winter climate.

How can you be so cruel? You critic no humpers. Eat from my bowl of gruel, LLama brained dumpers. Faeries will unleash revenge 'Pon immoral fairy. T'will be spellies from stonehenge That kill the dromedary (c) Fairy Nuff Orl writes reserved 2001

winter bark is cold teeth freeze on the withered leaves lachrymose llamas yes, 'The Godllama' starring alpaca chino is my favourite film

(finding a roomful of tiny wallets) Rodney you PLONKER! I told you to stick up some SH-elves!!!

I am quite moved by that beautiful Japanese style poetry. I have shed several Llama tears. Thank you.

my favourite song: Bama llama Bama Loo by Llittle Richard

wasn't that in the soundtrack to llamageddon?

i am rather disgruntled that the animal namely the llama is getting so much attention ... i shall lie under the desk wearing blue socks in protest

Llamarick There was a young llama called Jim Who thought he'd go for a swim From the high board He jumped, dear Lord, And that was the end of him.

What is a "poodle"?

poodle is a midget Llama (some would say 'Elf-like Llama' but they are braver than i)