Insults.

inst that meant to be tag with the bus'

Who knows what damage the w.anker did to his son. It's even possible he feels his father died early to spite him.

"Your mother wears combat boots." That was a favorite when I was in third grade. Not sure why that was supposed to be an insult, but it was.

a tank arsed weirdo? funny what you forget ...

I don't really think anything beats fuck off.

Actually, there is one, but it's in Afrikaans, it says something like: der mutter het ein shtunkpoos, you can probably figure out the translation without a dictionary. It's vulgar enough in English, but translated into Afrikaans (which I've only pretended to do), it sounds absolutely ghastly.

absolutely ghastly is a fine phrase ...

Thats disgusting!

On Black Books they use the phrase "You nine sided whore."

'May your toenails forever grow inwards' 'You're so tight you wouldn't lend steam from your own shit'

I think the worst insults are those you fear may be true. Of the standard variety I find it's the intensity and depth of loathing of the curser that give them meaning.

May a drunken Yak sexually assault you when you're asleep.

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your nether regions.

We had an insults thread years ago. Fish started it by musing upon her son calling her daughter a "tank-arsed weirdo" doesn't come much better. I like "You crusty botch of nature" courtesy of Shakespeare.

Don't RD, john will get excited.

What about the sick American phrase; Motherfucker?

Apart from it's crudity I don't suppose it's that bad if it's referring to your father!

Americans have elevated crude to an art form. How about....cum gobbler....

May a thousand camels infest your nether region is far funnier... Cum gobbler could be a statement of fact rather than an insult... though Camel Cum Gobbler I would hope is almost always an insult.

Damn, I'M excited, flash. That's my fantasy!

If I had a dog that looked like you, I'd shave its bum and teach it to walk backwards.

A well-executed insult is a thing of beauty forever. I've always been fond of some of the actual comments made on job evaluations, like: He hit rock bottom and kept on digging. I wouln't hire him as a deck hand on a submarine.

go play tig with the buses

I have to admit to being secretly very hurt by fish's "black pudding bot" insults a few months ago (although now fairly accurate). All I can say to her is put your puddings where your mouth is, corned beef legs, because the bot is back.

BUM FIGHT!!!!!

*May a drunken Yak sexually assault you when you're asleep* Christ. Been there.

I guess you weren't asleep for very long, then. I've always wondered why certain cultures get so offended when one insults their mother. These seem to be the same cultures that prefer women to be in a lower social status than men. Is the madonna/whore complex, then?

I think seemingly innocuous phrases can be terrible insults if you think about them for a while... say, 'bad banana'. Now doesn't sound too bad until you consider that it implies that something nice, firm, fruity and the colour of sunshine has quickly turned into a disgusting, squidgy, mouldy, black... leaking... I can't go on. It certainly makes some of the familiar insults seem very tame.

Are you calling my mother a Yak!

Hardly likely to earn you a smack in the gob in the pub though is it?

lol! I wouldn't dream of doing so; I have the utmost respect for mothers, madonnas, whores AND yaks.

hahah Good to know.

My best friend in grade school was named Jeff. His dad used to call him, "needle-dick bug-fucker". I always thought it was funny, but I never dared ask Jeff if it gave him a complex of some sort...

Yeah well his father should be ashamed of himself. Thank christ I never had a father like that.

His father was a librarian and keeled over dead of a heart attack at the age of 56, right in front of the doors to the university library where he worked. Only God will know if he was ashamed... I wouldn't dream of saying anything like that to my kids. The world is cruel enough.