The Test of I.

Here is the link. http://www.abctales.com/node/548016 Another Pyro special, with a lot of room left to the reader. What is the significance of the title? What is story here? I've read it three times and I'm still getting nuances. Is this by chance some literary or historical reference that I don't recognize? Or is it just one of those eerie tales that you can almost get a handle on, but not quite? Very good!

Felt it started slow but built up to a tense place... with plenty of room to carry on from....

As I said earlier, there's a lot of thought provoking ideas in this story. I can see why it was published. Who is Alison? Who chopped of Thomas's fingers? And why did Thomas kill Yuri, only to mentally commit himself finding Natalya, Yuri's daughter? (I don't really expect any answers from this. The story provokes a lot of itheories that are probably best left to the reader.) To me, Thomas is obviously being blackmailed. I can imagine that the men in white force him to remove political enemies under the threat of killing his daughter. They are probably the same group who blinded Yuri, and chopped off Thomas's fingers in an earlier, unknown episode. The ultimate point of the story: People can be driven to certain levels of cruelty in the name of love, but core compassion remains. Thomas killed Yuri. He had no choice, because he has to save Alison. He will make poweful amends to his victim by saving Yuri's daughter as well as his own. Wicked story! I've now read it at least five times! BTW, I see you like the name Tommy :-) http://www.abctales.com/node/547262

I think the plot is great with an excellent twist. I also think that the setting is quite vivid, I could picture the grayness of the surroundings, which enhanced the characters hoplessness, of being in a place of limbo almost. "Yuri. We must go." I whispered, holding out my hand to feel the raindrops that had begun to fall. I turned on my heel and listened as his footsteps followed, echoing quietly off the soft dirt and brick that held the buildings together.’ This is a good example of where your description is grounded in action, where you show rather than tell. ‘I rubbed my neck for a moment and straightened the long black jacket that sheltered my identity. That's when I noticed what was wrong with his eyes. A long scar curved from his face, dipping into his eyes. This man was blind.’ However this is an example of where you tell rather than show. Using I noticed, I feel, etc. pulls the reader out of the story. Use action to describe his blindness rather than telling us what Thomas sees. ‘I rubbed my neck for a moment , easing a familiar knot of tension, and straightened my long black coat of anonymity. In the gloom the man’s face seemed to shine, a white sliver of smooth shiny skin dipping into his eyes, turning them as white as the scar.’ Hope this shows you what I mean, though you could write it better Mike. But overall this is a very accomplished piece , the ending needs some more work, I want to know more about the car, and get a feel for the people that Thomas is being blackmailed by , but really enjoyable thanks Mike. Juliet