Queen's Day in Amsterdam

LONG AWAITED REPORT. Got tarted up - glued baseball cap to sprogs head - leaped on tram - arrived at appointed place - ordered Guinness (and fizzy orange for sprog) - glugged Guinness - read paper - found interesting article on dealing classes for junkies - Simon arrived - shook hands - Mandylifeboats arrived - shook hands - drunk more Guinness - indulged in gay banter - ordered more Guinness (and 7-up for sprog) - discussed people on ABC and the State of the Universe in general - glugged more booze - staggered off to loo - Mandylifeboats exited stage left (after nicking one of sprogs pistachios) - crawled off to bog (accompanied by sprog) - inspected graffiti - lurched back (lost sprog on way) - bade farewell to Simon and mate (who had bravely accompanied him into the fray, ) - weaved way to tram (having been re-united with sprog) - went home knackered. Howzat? Simon will no doubt fill you all in on any details that may have escaped me due to excessive alcohol consumption...

Yes, that sounds great. You have me convinced. I'm booking my ticket right now. See you over there!

when is it simon ... you dont say ... i rather fancy a quick jaunt to amsterdam ...

Queen's Day's on the 30th April and is everything Simon says it is, and more. I know, 'cos I live here... ps. I meet all your other requirments too (apart from the tax dodging bit, that is :-).

godverdomme, nog meer engelsen op koninginnedag die drinken en blowen van alles en nog wat, plassen tegen de muren en kotsen overal in de grachten - ben blij dat ik in londen die maandag ben

my version: biked thru vondelpark on bright sunny day to gloomy irish theme pub close to cheapest supermarket in town - met andrea, simon and simon - sat inside rank and festering dungeon on bright sunny day sipping ginger ale and chatting with a charming baseball-capped sprog called Jesse - nicked one of his nuts - went back on bike thru vondelpark - end of story BTW andrea is very pretty and so is one of the simons

die drinken en blowen sounds good to me ... *logs onto easyjet*

Have to agree with you there Mandy, 'twas indeed a trifle gloomy. Saw the tables going up outside halfway through proceedings and was dying to get out and sit in the sun but, as one of the Simons (were they really both called Simon? Oh dear, I'm useless with names) was glued to the Grand Prix, knew better than to suggest it. Oh, ta Mandy for the compliment..er..which one of the Simons was, in your opinion, the pretty one? ps. Don't worry about Jesse's nut. He's got another one...

Um...over to you, Simon and Simon...

Cor blimey... you leave the site for a couple of recovery days and the whole place goes more insane than usual. Okay, here we go.... - We are both Simon (It's a Fight Club thing) and I'm the good looking one. Actually, I'm the incredibly good looking one (that's for all the laydeez here in Sheffield who might want to spend the evening writing poetry under the stars by an old disused colliery.) The other one is actually very ugly, and he won't mind me saying that because I'm not going to tell him that I did. - Arrived on ugly Simon's girlfriend's bike, which was a little embarassing since it is pink. Went into 'fun' 'Irish' 'Themed' 'Bar' (don't know why bar has little things around it but never mind...) - Saw Andrea, who was nothing like her description much to my disappointment. (See Andrea for details.) - Saw Sue... a clear case of multiple personality disorder if ever I saw one, but in the nice way obviously. (Actually, I think there are only three people here on ABCtales - Me, Andrea and Sue. I truly believe that Sue is ALL of the other contributers. (Sue, how do you keep track of your alter-egos?) - Drank beer. Sue reminded me that Dutch beer is stronger than in the UK. It had taken two years, but I'd finally got that one cracked after continually waking up in strange places. But it was a kind thought anyway. - Ugly Simon was out of his depth, bless him, in a way that only the literary-y bereft can be. (Not actually true, but if he reads this it will piss him off, hee-hee.) - Chatted - went - got changed - went out drinking and consuming as many strange and disturbing substances as was possible until 7am on Queen's Day. - Then repeated entire process (minus Sue and Andrea) for several more days. - Returned to UK. Really quite ill. All joking aside, it was nice to meet fellow writers, who were really quite normal, all things considered. (This should be seen as a compliment.) So thanks for the chat and the beers. **** Now that the 'nice' stuff is out of the way, if you really want to know about my trip to the land of Weird, then drop me a line. If enough people ask, I'll write an account of a typical day when I go to Holland.

Oh Sue... you can't believe all those terrible stereotypes about English tourists! (Ik spreek een klein beetje nederlandse - sorry about the spelling) ... Of course, saying that, all the stereotypes are true and I apologise in advance for all the things I and my countrymen may or may not do over that weekend. Stay there Sue and keep us in order! I can only say in my own defence that I learnt all my bad habits from my Dutch friends, who thought I was a typical English lightweight when I moved to Amsterdam... but with true British pluck, and keeping Winnie in mind, I outdrank them in the bars and outdanced them in the clubs. (And never was so much money owed by me to so many mates.) On a serious note, I am visiting friends in Dam from 26/04 to 03/05, so if anyone wants to suggest a time and place, I'll be there. As a suggestion, it might be better to meet before or after the 30th, as travelling across town is NOT easy on Queen's Day. So come on Sue and Andrea - as our resident experts on all things Dutch - tell me where to be, then just look out for the slightly confused looking Englishman with the Orange face.

ok .. so how was it? ... can we have a full report please????

Whaddya mean 'much to my disappointment'??? Huh! 'Incredibly good looking one' eh? Huh, again :-) Seriously, nice blokes the Simons...

Patience, Ivory, patience. A full report will be forthcoming. All I'm prepared to say at the moment is that Kok, Dick and Fanny didn't show...

awwwww ... come on andrea dish the dirt ... i am agog ...

pssst! ivy! you don't really think that they had a better time than they would have done at the poetry shinding in leicester do you?

well i hardly IMAGINE they would .... i mean what has amsters got on leicester? ... errrrr ....

See it as it happened!! http.www.irishsuedobar.nd/users/andrea-simon/flick/yawn

You ever been been down New Walk late at night?

New Walk, Tony? Do you mean Nieuwendijk? If so, no, never! I'm a good girl, me...

i see amsters and leicester have more in common than i first thought ...

I once owned a gerbil called Lester

...and all that I did was pest 'er... Ooops, sorry, wrong topic.

hahahahhaaaaaa

Me and Andrea (brave souls that we are) have arranged to meet on 29th April at 2pm in O'Donnells on Heinekenplein. Any other alphabet people in Amsterdam on the day can feel free to join us for mirth and merriment (or sadness and despair... you never know). I know there at least two other Amsterdam writers out there - you know who you are Sue and Looli - but are there others? And are any of them men? Or will I be the only alphabet chap in amsterdam on that day?) If you can get there, look for a chap in a red puppy dog tee-shirt (long story) and black leather jacket. I may even stand the first round. (Actually, disregard that last sentence.)

well done andrea ... i just nearly choked on a doughnut ... that was Utterly Silly ... and thus in two wrong threads ...

it ran on a wheel as I gave it a feel then cast it aside to fester

cheers for the report ... i was rather hoping for more tabloid style sex scandal and intrigue but ... never mind ...

we could supply that, couldn't we, andrea? after all, we're all writers of fiction, aren't we? now if *you'd* been with us...

aha *spots new web soap style thread* What Really Happened In Amsterdam ..... (by the way i do intend coming to Amsterdam over the summer sometime .... hehehehhehe)

Hi Guys I live in Amsterdam - so maybe I'll catch you there too. Queen's day is fun - so much to do and see. I'll keep logging in to check if anyone else wants to join - there are some more members living here too (mandylifeboats, angela.....) Looli

Ah yes, Mandy, I'm sure we could drum up something suitably titillating - especially since both Simons seem to have done a bunk...

I live in Amsterdam too.

Don't mind if I do. Can I bring my brother, Dick?

Why not take your sister Fanny as well?