ABC Tales Saturday July 28th unofficial London meetup

hey i would love to come to the shingdig, for the hijinks and the bantery clamouring.. but i would need somebody to put me up for the night, travelling a long distance you see, and i have a phobia of hotels, its the clacky key fobs the size of dinner plates, i keep thinking the surface is impregnated with mescaline.. somewhere near the river, on the good side, somewhere with a host of pharmacies nearby for my endless " stomach problems " no pets, no smokers, no children, no stairs, and definitely no prints of magritte or dali, i would also require a wholly gluten-free breakfast and a copy of the manchester guardian, any noise i will take as intrusive and feel obliged to over-react to with my normal deranged falsetto screaming, if it could be arranged i would like to use the address to deal with correspondence with the met police over the matter of some damaged railings outside the all stars singer natalie appleton's flat...oh and yes. i snore like a tsunami passing over a walnut factory which has a corrugated iron roof miked up to the public address system of tokyo's main airport. if anyone can help me with this, i would be most flabberghasted. love you all martin xx

Sorry Steven dear. I do have children, stairs, pets etc. (Slinks off to gratefully kiss all afore mentioned incumberances).

he sounds like gorjer frill. well avoided wolfie. we don't want another stalking haddock style post do we?

Looks like it's under a bridge for you wiv a bottle of meths then, Martin. I love Magritte and Dali, smoke like a chimney and consume lots of fat whilst downing as much Guinness as is humanly possible.

My little girl loves Natalie Appleton...she's astonished and pleased that after the big All Saints split, there is news of her being in a new band, The All Stars....

i love stairs. smokers. children. snakes. weasels. jeffrey archer's downfall. guinness drinkers. and organised people. really i do.

Whoopee, a party! Can anybody come? No, seriously (for a change), I've never caught one of these get-togethers before, so I'll definitely be along. For beer choice, I'd always go for the Wetherspoons.. the old Marquee Club. I think it's the Moon Under water.. but, hey! It's up to you, right? Not everyone's a beer monster. Hope to see you there. Cheers, Roy.

This is too depressing. My sister has decided to get married on that day. Do you think I should ask her to change the date? I would much rather go to a party with lots of stimulating conversation, than dress up (ugh) and sip drinks politely all day. Sigh.