ABC Family

jaballen banks is the one brother who got away and who sends the kids outrageously unsuitable presents and who your husband secretly disapproves of...

missi ... the obsessive protective and fierce family collie who barks at strangers and is constantly in front of you dropping his balls and panting

Hi Taj - good grief, where have you BEEN?

How refreshing (though I prefer basket-weaving meself). *tries to visualise Missus' balls dropping*

You just can't let sleeping dogs lie can you flash and you still haven't got it right. Having just looked up your word prudish your not right there, getting even drunk let alone filthy drunk your not right there as I don't drink and would think that is more in your line as you seem to know a lot about it and singing songs at partys yes! you are right there but dirty ones your not right there, again probably more your line but I suppose getting just one small!! part right is not bad but you could do better if you understood what good clean!! fun is and how to enjoy it. So I suggest that Flash be the one in this family who tells all the filthy jokes to all the wrong people falls about drunk all the time can't wash his mouth out very often then for the life of him can't understand how people start! by thinking hes a likeable chap and slowly but surely go off him. >>>>>>>>>Such a shame>>>>>>>>...

*pops granny back into pram*

damn ... sorry ... .meant bed ... pops granny back into BED .... :-)

oooo andrea ... you are that auntie who is exotic and odd and who the kids like cos she is a bit of hippy and swears ...

Can i be the good looking one who became famous an made it big?

Oh poor Flashy! Granny, it's way past your bedtime, remember to shackle yourself up, use the hand restraints like we showed you, oh and please stop using Sabelle's lady shaver...it's not supposed to go down there. [%sig%]

Freda, no offense to Granny's meant, only one in particular. Flash, you need to tie it up first... Has anyone seen a large pair of flesh coloured Granny pants? *Realises turkey has been stuffed with them a someone shoved a half empty bottle of Groose up it's.....time to run and duck...* [%sig%]

Hahahaha *steals knitting needles to construct "alternative" hair piece*

Freda have to say your thread was like breathing fresh air...

Correct Jay....Andrea, unfortunately Taj appears to have left before his work here was done.... Taj, wont you return?

*Gasps for breath in bug eyed agogment*

*sidles into deckchair as if pretending not to be protagonist .... reaches slowly for jaffas*

Sod the deckchair, stop your sidling, put those jaffas down and give me a hand!...Granny's putting up a fight and I think she's been at the sherry again! *looks at Granny's rather large biceps with suspicion...Granny was never the same after that trip to the Phillipines...* [%sig%]

*Puts on tin hat and ducks behind the setee*

Now Granny...remember what we said about not doing that to the cat...put the vaseline down...that's it...now slowly walk away. I think Flash wants you over by the setee...yes, he's motioning you over...he's got your favourte chamberpot on his head...oh, how sweet! Now go and sit on his lap, you know how he likes you to nuzzle up to him and rub your chin whiskers on the side of his neck. *sits down exhausted as Flash and Granny play peek-a-boo. Now worried about Flash...where's that damn elastic?* [%sig%]

OK - so who do we invite to the wedding and who doesn't get an invite? Brilliant women! this made me laugh like a drain.

Oh are we all discussing Fish here please can I join in even though I'm not a granny I'm the nearest thing a Nan so we would probably have a lot in common...

Only if you give Sabelle her lady shaver back..oh..and give it a rinse first. Flash, will you please take that pot off your head...you know where its been! [%sig%]

Who would be the family slut?

we need more than one, ralph? anyway who is getting married? not us tetchy old bosomy aunties that's for sure ...