The Soul of Chilli Fades. Nolan.

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The Soul of Chilli Fades. Nolan.

http://www.abctales.com/story/nolan/the-soul-of-chilli-fades

I can't say anything clever about this piece, I just know what I like & why I like it.
I know that house, I've seen it through your eyes. You conjured up every one of the five senses and suggested a sixth. I stand in awe, not being able to chose just one example of the imagery, I loved them all.

By the time I'd finished reading this charming piece, I could smell the house too - see the saucepan with the red, faded handle and the jottings around the half-finished crossword. I felt as if I could almost reach out and touch them.

 

By the time I'd finished reading this charming piece, I could smell the house too - see the saucepan with the red, faded handle and the jottings around the half-finished crossword. I felt as if I could almost reach out and touch them.

 

the detail is vivid, and a creates a real sense of atmosphere, i would like to know where the occupants have gone and why. there were places where i felt the description could be improved e.g. 'In the front room is a small desk. In one half of the room stands a round table with four chairs. The tablecloth draping from it is a deep red. Those four chairs are as empty as chairs can be.' what sort of desk, table and chairs? 'empty as chairs can been?' not sure i get this picture. but overall a great read. Juliet Juliet

Juliet

Brilliant, I loved it! It really comes alive, although I too would like to know more of the occupants. As to the technical merits, I don’t feel qualified to comment, other than to say it sounded great to me!
Hi SpeedyG, I don't think that "clever" comments mean that much, you obviously like to intereact and that's a good thing. I think the beauty of this piece lies in what isn't said, rather than what is. Never sell yourself short.

Lfuller

I agree with Queen Elf. The bit about the chairs being as empty as chairs can be - I think is descriptively effective. I guess chairs are made for one purpose (most of the time) and that is to sit on. So - if nobody sits on the chair it becomes redundant - like a book without anyone to read it, or a ship and no sea. Kind of poignant I think.

 

yeah ok i see that - i take back my crit of the empty chairs - but still think some improvements could be made on some of the description. Juliet

Juliet

Congrats on the Cherry, I just knew this piece had so much potentail.

Lfuller

Nolan
Anonymous's picture
Thank you for all your positive comments...........
I really enjoyed this too - description to make it come alive and enough ambiguity to make the reader ask questions about what had happened there.
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