RE: Chapter 0

Topic posted in response to Chapter 0 : http://abctales.com/story/p4percake/chapter-0

This is the prologue to the light novel I finished a few months back but I am too afraid to send out unless I get feedback. I've been working on it for years now, rewriting it and revamping it over and over again and adding new things to the story. I would love to know what you think (whether it is interesting, whether the story is bland, what could be done to improve, any grammatical errors you notice that I don't, ect.) Please be truthful not nice, but not ridiculously brutal and inconsiderate. Thank you so much. This is the first time this has been our in public.