Comedy Writer Michael Casey
http://groups.msn.com/michaelcasey
new comedy writer
the buter the baker and the undertaker hit comedy novel
Literary Criticism (c)
By
Michael Casey
I always thought I was a good writer , people told me so , and it
was what I wanted to hear , so naturally I believed it . That was until
Jee Ji came to live with me . She told me she'd read my stuff , my
"rubbish" and give an opinion , her uncles were influential , so perhaps ,
or just maybe they could help me get published or even produced . Then the
world would be my oyster , however I had forgotten one fundamental thing .
Jee Ji was Chinese , her English still had a long way to go , and besides
which would British humour travel as far as China , or as far as her
Chinese brain ?
So naturally I gave her my funniest story to read first , the true
yet surreally funny Czech story , and what did she say ? "Its boring", if
she had been a man or one of the lads from work I'd have punched her , or
at the very least called her an "ignorant bastard". But because I loved
her , I took the critism like a man and smiled , and that was a revelation
in itself , why ? Because I had found somebody whom I respected enough not
to curse at when the hated my work , my stuff , my "rubbish" . Love is a
strange thing , making you smile , instead of curse . So it at least
proved how much I loved her , I had told her that my stories were my
children , the product of my love , the only thing with meaning in my
life , with value in my life . Until true love came along in the form f
Jee Ji herself . So now we could discuss things , with love in our eyes ,
and my writing was , what it really was , just words on paper. Perhaps
someday my simple words would really have great value , but now I realised
what they were - words , just words , perhaps never to have any meaning ,
except to me alone . In the Bible it begins with "In the beginningh there
was The Word" , aand after that we have the Bible itself , and the rest is
History . So perhaps my humble words would have a beginning , and perhaps
my future words would have history too , obviously not as great as The
Bible , but I still dream that someday my words will have an effect on
people . I don't want to move mountains , just make people laugh , that's
enough for me . However humour is a funny thing , I cannot tell a joke to
save my life but sopmehow when I put words on paper I can make people
smile and even laugh . When I'm really relaxed and down the pub I can
actually make people cry with laughter , and I don't know why , the trears
of laughter just flow , so perhaps when I write I should just relax aand
pretend I'm down the pub and most of all , just don't try to be funny ,
just let the laughter flow naturally .
So much for the theory , the practice is that you write for years
and nobody pays a blind bit of notice , then you write one thinmg and hey
presto you are recognised as a "writer" , well in your office at any rate
. So you are suddenly "world famous" to a group of friends , if you are
lucky 30 friends , that's just how "world famous" I became . Offer any
other pieces of your "literature" and you are treated like a leper ,
"Unclean , Unclean" people almost say . I did get one real fan , and I
fell in love with her , only she didn't fall in love with me , as she
repeatedly said . However I did make a friend for life , which is better
than nothing . And I'm use to nothing , so that cann't be bad .
Jee Ji revealed her uncles's connections , after I'd already
guessed , I was happy but not overwhelmed . I had a play accepted 12 years
ago , only it did not happen , so I've given up believing I'd ever be
acknowledged as a writer long ago . If a miracle happens and her family
decides to help me then that's wonerful , but I have her love and love is
the greatest gift of all , so I'm more than happy . World recognition as a
writer will never happen , not unless my mother who makes tea in Heaven
pulls lots of strings for me , having said that she sent Jee Ji so perhaps
helping me find my true vocation is next on my mother's list . "Blessed is
he who expects nothing" , so perhaps before I die I will be blessed , and
become a writer .
So that's how Jee Ji has become my literary critic , if I get 100
out of 100 she will pass on my work to her uncle , but she is the filter .
This makes me smile and is the ultimate irony , becuase her English is
very good , though her verbalising is not as good as what's in her head ,
and she still has to look words up in her electronic dictionary . So I
have a Chinese literary critic , who is still learning English !
So Igave her another piece to read , it was "Its all in the Stars"
a comedy based on me and Louise . This made her laugh and smile ,
occasionally Jee Ji would look up and ask "What Mean?" and spell out a
word and I'd explain and make her look it up in the dictionary . So I'd be
smiling as I watched her read my story , and then I'd smile even more when
she stopped to ask for explanations of English words . God really DOES
have the last laugh , first I have to write something funny , which is
hardf in itself, then I have to write in such a way as to please a Chinese
girl . Now that is the future which I have to bear in mind . As for my
back catologue , I just have to hope that with "The help of God and Two
Policemen " as my mum alwasys used to say my old "stuff" will pass the
Chinese filter and get 100 out of 100 , and then a Chinese uncle in Maimi
or a Chinese uncle in Shanghai will help this Birmingham England boy get
his foot in the door as a writer .
So I watch from my rocking chaire as she reads , as I watch for
smiles I admire her beauty , though I call her ans "ugly mug" as a joke ,
and as a way of making her realise that beauty is only skin deep . And we
both realise too its because we see each others heart that's why we are
sitting opposite eacxh other , that's why I have a Chinese critic of my
British humour , and yes God really DOES have a truely great sense of
humour . If I can do the impossible then I will perhaps finally get my
chance to be a writer . Though I must immediately say that my mum does
make the tea in Heaven so I'm sure she's bribing Saint Jude , the patron
saint of the impossible , "Look , Saint Jude if you want the best tea for
all eternity , just help Michael my youngest son , let him make people
laugh for 70 years with his writing . But only if he can make his Chinese
girl give him 100 out of 100 . And only if its the Will of God." .So
basically that's the situation . Simple really , I just sit in my rocking
chair and watch Jee Ji smile and every now and then she says "What Mean?"
and I explain and she checks it out in her electonic dictionary , then she
laughs more when she reads the Chinese translation . I'm sure I can hear
God laughing in the background , but I REALLY do believe mum sent Jee Ji
to me , so I hope its just a matter of time before I get my foot in the
door and I get a chance to be a writer . Having said that perhaps I should
add that Time is God's greatest joke , didn't Padre Pio once say something
like "The prayers I will say tomorrow will have helped you yesterday ."
To finish , perhaps I should just teach Jee Ji more English and
then Hey Presto she'll see what a wonderful writer I am . I'm laughing now
at my own stupidity , its more likely she'll think even more how useless I
am as a writer , however God works in mysterious ways and another thing my
mother used to say was "Far Fetched , Like Shit from China." Why ? Because
our meeting and falling ion love is so unbelieveable and so far fetched
just like "Shit from China" , so the ultimate joke is that it takes a
real Chinese miracle for me to find a girl AND get published .
Or can I hear God Laughing ?
http://groups.msn.com/michaelcasey
email michaelgcasey@hotmail.com
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