Rule number one

ummm if u have no legs, then what private parts r u refferring to???

And I always thought it was 'don't piss into the wind'.

even from my own monkey's.... and especailly from my own Monkey's your own monkey's what?

Rule number one when visiting the UK "Don't drink the beer!"

Rule #1: Always keep your head above dog butt level.

Greengrocer, shame on you! Doesn't your monkey have his own ellipsis, and his own exclamation mark? A good monkey should always carry his own punctuation around with him at all times - beware, however, for if you do not comb your punctuation monkey, he will shed punctuation all over your sentences??!!! ???!! (You know, the reappearance of Cellarscene here recently really makes me crave for a conversation between Eric and Jasper. I still recall Eric going honey-nut loops over someone (me) typing in haste and confusing stationary and stationery.... I'd love to see him and Jasper chat.

i thought it was "you do not talk about fight club" ... damn!!

nope nope "I'll fart in your general direction" and "i'll wave my private parts at your aunties"

"Don't pitch your tent next to the waterhole" is a good rule number one about being out in the bush. A Japanese tourist in Namibia, possibly thinking he was in a zoo, did so and got eaten in the night.