wonderful phrases

"Gay Sex Splits Bishops" (from Gay News, 1981) I think that's rich.

Ta-DUM! Pisssshhhhh!

ha ha! Very good mr shirt!

I just read this on AOL. talk about a passion for the game. "Beckham left the field on the hour mark and Real sealed the victory 15 minutes from time when substitute Roberto Soldado netted after being put through by Luis Figo, who had just come on himself."

hahahahaha!!!! That's fantastic!!!!

ha ha ha

Can he get tossed out of the game for that? badda boom

Somebody brought a bad poem to our writing group last night which contained some gems such as "There's nothing more to say" ... and then did so for several more lines and my favourite naff phrase "from above" which, needless to say, was rhymed with "love". Basically the author was saying that God should have stepped in and done something about the event (in this case, the tsunami) but wanted to hedge his bets and not name and blame any particularly deity. This gem wasn't actually written by a group member, but you have to be a bit thick-skinned to read your own work aloud after the mauling this got.

In the Guardian today a journalist investigating the trail of the London bombers to terrorist groups in Pakistan came up with this gem: "Khan, a teaching assistant and respected figure in his Leeds community who is thought to have played a dominant role in the bomb plot, may have introduced Tanweer to contacts in Pakistan's thriving militant scene." Thriving militant scene? Sounds like Ibiza to me. Do they have wet shalwar kameez competitions? Immams doing karaoke? FFS, don't these people understand context? [%sig%]

No, you are looking like a sad and pathetic loser. You have acheived what exactly? Contempt. Not to mention your pretty disgraceful lack of attention to your grammar and punctuation.

I picture something like the robot in Battlestar Galactica. No, wait, Buck Rogers in the 21st Century.

Ahhh, Buck Rogers in the 25th (?) century.... the nostalgia, the ladies in skin tight suits... It was 25th century wasn't it ag? Or is my memory starting to give out on me too...

Yeah, you're right. It's been so long since I watched it, I forgot the date! The robot sounded like Droopy. 'Gee, Buck....'

The robot used to start every sentence with "biddley biddley" to make it seem like it was a robot even though it had a decent command of the English language (for an American) so why did it have to actually say 'biddley biddley'? The series was all about the women for me (surprised?) captain Darling was alright if a bit skinny but there was a princess on another planet that was always trying to get Buck to come and live with her and she was hot as hell and the costume!!!!! holy toledo! Buck would occasionally use her affections for favours when he needed help but never give her what she wanted. sod that, I'd have been round there in a flash and sack deep in hot alien princess quicker than James T Kirk on shore leave.

'The robot used to start every sentence with "biddley biddley" to make it seem like it was a robot even though it had a decent command of the English language (for an American)' Ahem. Don't forget, our great president coined the brilliant word, 'strategery'. I actually enjoy using this word to describe the kind of piffle the policy wonks at the Council engage in...

Ely, I totally agree with you about the women in Buck Rogers... they were all mostly at various degrees of gorgeous. Who cared about the story lines or the acting... I must say however that I think it is a bit unfair of you to say that someone had a decent command of the English language (for an American). As I understand it American English is much closer to the original form of the modern language than our own English English is, due to the European influences that worked their way into our version of it.

that's absolutely right Foxy and I've always agreed with the American ways of spelling certain words but, and let's not forget this, it's ENGLISH and so am I which means it's my rules and I say who can play so nerrrrr! American English? No such thing! It's all just English, we own America don't forget... we still do don't we? I mean I can row over there anytime and claim the land still... right?

The husband has a t-shirt that continues to crack me up. On it is an old photo of Apache Indians holding their rifles in front of them; probably a pic of a scouting party of Geronimo's...underneath is a caption that reads: "Protecting Homeland Security for 200 Years".

Aha! But I am English too, which means that they are my rules as well... so how are we going to sort this out? An arm wrestling match? A staring contest? Pie eating competition? See who can sulk the longest?

just go and pick the four BEST sports from my extensive resume why don't ya! arm wrestling... fair enough staring?... I was Lancashire county finalist (under 8s) and stared in the team that beat the famous "what you lookin' at"s from Essex. They used to call me 'no lids' Whitley. Pie eating... don't even get out of your chair my friend! you might as well have suggested a 'being called Ely' contest!!! I eat pies in my sleep. I live pies, I preach the way of the pie. Ask anyone, if it's pies you want then don't come to me because I've already eaten them all. sulking... well you may have me there. I tried it a bit in the 80s after my bottom lip was noticed by a scout in Kwik Save and started well, beating several teenage girls but once I tried to move in on the pro circuit it was all spoilt kids and French women and I was in way over my head.

No lids Whitley!! not THE No lids Whitley? Surely not, I thought he was a myth.... I guess I have to choose sulking then, because of something that I am going through at the moment, I reckon I'll win that one easily. And thanks for putting a smile on my face Ely, the first one today... Cheers

The very same, at your service, "starer to the stars- free estimates (no job too small)" ah those were the days when I could go so long without blinking I had to have windscreen wipers fitted to my eyeballs to remove the dead flies. I thought I was a contender on the stare way to heaven but an nasty injury with a pair of wraparound shades put an end to my career. If I ever tried to sulk as a kid my mum would say, "I'll pull that lip over your head if you don't pack it in" she was all heart my mum which probably explains why she was so good at beatings