Why, Hello...
Tue, 2005-10-25 15:48
#1
Why, Hello...
I'm Adas and I just joined up on here, mainly to see how my little writings are received. So if anyone has an opinion, please throw it my way. Anything at all, I'd appreciate it a lot. Well, thank you.
Soraia Almeida
Hello there! Welcome to ABCtales!
Thought your profile was fabulous. Will check your stuff and report back!
Be good.
Soraia
adasbutler
Thank you. I loved 'In The Shadows', by the way. Specially
"The wind blows me into pieces"
Felt the wind through my thin jacket, if you know what I mean.... them trees are in my mind too....
I write more for the feel of words, no plot no story but it has a beginning, middle and an end, you know? I must go and buy some courgettes and brown rice, be back soon now so expect a little feedback....
You be nice now,
Adas
Soraia Almeida
Courgettes and brown rice? I'm more of a 'Big Mac with fries, please' sort of girl!
Anyway,
I did read through your stories and I'm sorry to say I can't quite understand 'Sharks' that's because of the language issue. I'm foreign and find it really difficult to read things that have no correct spelling, I know you were writting it to exemplefy an accent I just can't understand it. Sorry, so I can't really review it but I'm sure you'll get some feedback from more adequate sources!
'Myths' was better (for me at least) although I feel you should expand on the subjects you raised as they are very worthy of discussion and are rarely talked about!
Keep Writting!
And good luck with the courgettes!
Cheers!
adasbutler
Ha ha I forget there's a world outside London sometimes: That's what I tried to rectify with Myths, having a thought about some issues. But you misunderstand me if you think I should expand, my brain don't linger long and i'm not gonna force it, you know? Sometimes I think I gave too much away on it, anyhows...
I'm on a detox, ain't smoked for four days.
I think you can all feel the pain right there xxx
tcook
I liked your writing but found the 'accent' a bit hard to take.
I think it needs better spacing which will make it easier to read.
Your thoughts are original and interesting - I think though that you need to work on each little sentence more. They both feel like a 'first draft' that needs more attention to detail.
Keep it up, though. We love to see things just get better and better.
And welcome!
adasbutler
Thanks tcook - It is a case of it all rushing out. I do need to slow down and just take the best bits out. A little thought goes a long way, as the slogan once went....
Still, I really must go and get a job, I'm all suited and booted and looking like rough diamond.
Maybe I'm being deliberately hard to pin down, so not much fun for my readers unless you think you can pin it all down. Must write a 'traditional' story... as an exercise. Think it'll do me good. Don't know when, but it'll be on here, so I'd love you's to read it.
Have a nice day now, don't go smoking
Kiss kiss
adasbutler
Well, I'm off, but I've left an intro called 'Title' on here, and I would very much like for anyone (Especially tcook and soraia) to leave on this very board possible ideas for where it is all going....
Follow the link off my name to find the intro story...
Thanks and good night....
adasbutler
Woo! Got some cherries, but what does it all mean? Much obliged, I'm sure...
adasbutler
May I just point anyone who hasn't read this yet a fantastical piece of work.... close your eyes after you read it... It's a lovely feelin....
http://www.abctales.com/node/536949
hope that link works....
It reminds me of Lucinda Williams .... I can imagine it being read to me in a husky, smoked-out voice, kind of naughty, kind of nice....
Haven't smoked for eight days xxx
adasbutler
http://www.abctales.com/node/536949
hope that link works....
It reminds me of Lucinda Williams .... I can imagine it being read to me in a husky, smoked-out voice, kind of naughty, kind of nice....
Haven't smoked for eight days xxx