022 - 024: Xy A World without Men

Dear Chimpy, ty for your comprehensiv critique. The story is essentially one woman's struggle to bear a son, but you are right that this needs context. I have begun to build this context in to the story with more discussions about the world aroud them - see early chapters. Also Joy Burrows works for Vision and we get some insights to the darker side of how they keep womem quiet in her chapters - but there is more of this to come. Vision essentially works on the premise that nothing is banned or forbidden concerning men - but rather they mould the women through education and propoganda to reject male design in anything - so literature etc is not destroyed but rather women choose not to admire it. In terms of God - well he still exists as 'Big Sis' - a female deity this is also mentioned in an early chapter. However I haven't tackled other religions - i admit. In terms of the resistance - there are secret factions within vision - more to come. However i do take your point on board that the context needs to be developed much further. I am currently rewriting the whole novel - so i envisage a further rewrite to incorporate more context - but i feel it is important to get to the end - then i can go back and pick up and expand on previous points. If i am perfectly honest the ending has a number of possibilities at the moment i am letting the characters shape the final outcome. In terms of the world picture - The characters believe that the world is Vision - they know nothing of the borders of this empire - however this is another area of i need to develop as the story reaches its climax. I really appreciate the time and effort you have taken to comment - and i find your comments extremely useful as i too felt the story was narrowing in too much on the baby. A spoiler - Vision haven't quite killed all the men - after all some specimens are useful for various different tasks. In an old RAF underground base - Joy Burrows will reveal exactly what these 'men -lab rats' are used for. Juliet

I haven't read the story as I need a link but should it not be XX if it's a world without men? Sorry to be a pedant. "I have a room for life at the Home for the Chronically Groovy."

Here is link http://www.abctales.com/node/547873 It is called Xy to demonstrate the y chromosome as smaller than the X after all the y is just a broken X (men are defunct females). Also the plague attaches itself to the X chromosme and women having two X's are protected - men are not. Not sure the actual title will contain the sentence 'A world Without Men' - just Xy - but as i am far from finished yet - who knows, i may end up with a complete title change. I always apppreciate readers and comments. It is a lonely business writing a novel. Juliet

I would suggest a pinch of salt be taken with the comments of an 'editor' whose critiques carry "excuse me if I missed passages which might have answered these points" as a caviat. Enzo.. www.thedevilbetweenus.com

Hey Enzo i understand your defence, but chimpy has read more than just those 3 chapters - he was pointing out he hadn't read them all - that is fine. But he does raise a pertinent issue that of context, and it is something i am having to work hard on. His previous commentswere part of the reason i began a rewrite - and i am much happier with the story as a result. I thrive on feedback and challenges to my writing and Chimpy and others who spend time reading and offering their thought are just what i need. Even from three chapters you can get a jist of what is right and what is wrong and i appreciate each and every comment. It is nice to know that someone is reading :) Juliet