Cabbies and hair dressers have brilliant stories. They've met such a range of people. There's an old saying if you are new to a city, ask a cabbie or a barber.
To save myself the tedium of having to entertain the ABC Talecatcher (who
is notoriously fond of my Adelstrop Port) I thought I would save us all the
bother and reprint an extract from an interview I gave recently to Carol
Ann Duffer of 'PEN' Magazine.
CAD:
I would like to begin by thanking you for agreeing to this interview. It is
a rare honour.
WHA:
Of course it is, dear girl. I noticed that you've been scraping the barrel
recently by interviewing Armitage, Motion, Hill and Fenton. Though I suppose
they are all passable minor poets in their own way.
CAD:
It's at least two weeks since you last published an award-winning book of
poetry. Are you drying up?
WHA:
I was concerned for the first thirteen days, but then I realised I've got
twenty minutes between this interview and opening time at The Elf and
Unicorn. I'll write my next award-winning book then.
CAD:
You mentioned Andrew Motion earlier. Were you disappointed that he got the
Laureateship, despite your smear campaign?
WHA:
Twenty letters to 'The Times Literary Supplement' informing them that all
Mr. Motion's poems are in fact copies of my discarded first drafts which he
retrieved from my dustbin is hardly a smear campaign. Besides, his job is
to write poems to the Queen. Well, I'll have you know young lady, that Her
Majesty writes poems to me!
CAD:
You are noted for your sartorial elegance. Who is your style guru?
WHA:
Wilde, of course!
CAD;
Ahh… Oscar…
WHA:
No… Marty.
Oh dear, I haven't got a witty response to that.... as a vocational type myself who's often been mistaken for one of the other vocational types, I am stumped for syllables and fniff fo fnuff
Was mandy really after the facts on the ABC staff?
or did she mean that she was interested in the contributors to the site?
I suspect the latter.
I'm off to lean on my bard.
sip sip.
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