I am Michael Caine

Of course you are dear boy, of course you are!

Ah, but can you act?

I'm Michael Caine and so's my wife!

Of course I can't bloody act. I'm Michael Caine, I said!

That's funny. I never associated Michael Caine with acting.

I am Maurice Micklewhite! I really am!!

neither did l brilliant, innit....earning all this money just for playing yourself in every film. I got offered some money once, for playing myself in a film. At least I think thats what they said.....

And I'm a Dutch uncle... (psst, Liana...who was that wot offered you the dosh, then?)

*whispers* it was when l lived in Holland Andrea, some electric company l think....

You've done WHAT to Michael Caine??

hmmm ...