A bit of nonsense

Is that the same as parachuting?

Well, if I parachuted as much as I paraphrased I'd be a real daredevil.

I read today that Winston Churchill was taught the V-for-Victory sign by Alestair Crowley, the self-proclaimed 'Wickedest Man in Britain' and it is supposed to have mystical signficance. I doubt very much that this is true, but it is the sort of story that I like.

Lady Astor, the woman referred to above by Emma, was giving a costume ball and Winston Churchill asked her what disguise she would recommend for him. "Why don't you come sober, Mr. Prime Minister?" And probably the best known one: "Winston, if I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee." "Nancy, if I were your husband I'd drink it."

Gardiner! Get your ass over to the surrounding threads and help Missi verbally berate me! If you two work together, you could put together a modest essay on the arrogance and foolishness of the young, or something. Good quotes. Much better than the 'fight them on the beaches' stuff.

You don't seem to understand the amount of effort required to regress to your age and harangue you, Jon.

It's a killer, isn't it? But it makes yer feel good inside.

Henstoat, Just for you, one of my all time favourites, a quote born of the arrogance of (my) old age, from one of America's chief proponents of the bon mot: "When I was 14 I could not believe how stupid my father was. I then went my way and returned at 21. I was astonished at how much he had learned in 7 years." Mark Twain

I think the point is that its amazing how often logic fails in the face of human nature and it takes time and experience to discover the many ways that this fact expresses itself. To return to the drinking theme: in my youth I used to brew my own beer and I met an experienced brewer who told me "It's better to brew 8 gallons at once, rather than 1, as it lasts nearly twice as long." [%sig%]

Ha! That's a great quote, Stephen. Phil's too. Love it!

My mother was making a fish pie for the elderly in a parish hall recently when the vicar came swanning in complaining about the pervasive smell of fish. "It must have been dreadful on the shores of Galilee" was her reply.

"Ok darling let's go then, it is 11o'clock" I couldn't say that last Saturday, and I was drunk. I was glad in the morning and I apologised, but she was a bit of a party pooper. Just because she drove and drunk lemonade all night, for crying out loud.

and i got this.... LETTER TO A MOTHER A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter over the bed. With the worst premonition, she reads it, with trembling hands: Dear Mum, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend. I found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercings and tattoos and his big motorcycle. But is not only that mum, I'm pregnant and Jason said that we will be very happy in his squat in Liverpool. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams. I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we may want. In the meantime, we'll pray for the science to find the AIDS cure, for Jason to get better, he deserves it. Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'll visit for you to know your grandchildren. Your daughter, Judith PS: Mum, it's not true. I'm at the neighbour's house. I just wanted to show you that there are worst things in life than the school's report card that's in my desk drawer...

my friend tripped me up causing me to fall onto my back and whilst asking ppl to help me up, i couldn't : i think i repeated "j...j....j....just h...helllp me up!" and then i had to explain where i lived to the cab driver... try pronouncing " shaftsberry avenue"

Liana - you have made Cook the Books (our accountant) laugh for ten minutes. He has a teenage daughter. Speaking of which, I got home last night and my little darling - whom I had got up early on Saturday morning for, driven to Hastings, spent the whole day supporting her at a rugby tournament, bought her and her teammates jugs of beer for winning the thing, driven home at speed so she could go out, then been ignored by until I got home last night - OK, that's the scene set - my little darling spits at me as I walk into the house: "You know that National Insurance thing they've been hassling me about." "No..." "That's becasue you never listen, you just don't pay any attention at all to me, in any case, I've decided to go for it and get the card thing..." (light goes on in Dad's head) "Oh, you mean the National Savings card." "Yeah, of course...well.." "So there's no need to be so rude to me then is there?" "Why are you such a pain..." walks out, slams the door and refuses to talk to me again all night. This weekend I shall get up at 4 a.m. on Sunday morning to drive said little darling to Lichfield so that she can play in the National Regional Rugby Championships and then drive her back probably not arriving until the wee small hours when I have to go to Stockholm early on Monday. Who's a sucker then?

You really need this explained?

Of course you all know the reported repartee between Churchill and a lady sitting next to him at a dinner party? Lady: You are drunk. Churchill: You are ugly and I shall be sober in the morning.

I think it was a little more eloquent than that, Emma. If you're going to quote I must insist on accuracy.

I'll let someone correct me, I was just paraphrasing, sorry to let you down missi. *sulks*