Kirsty! by Brighteyes

I really enjoyed the whole poem, especially the choristers bit - all I balked at was the title (anything that ends in an exclamation mark seems a bit lame to me) and, by the same token, the end line, which felt like a Greek Chorus stepping in to make obvious what had already been elegantly implied throughout the rest of the poem.

Honey, you just get better & better with every poem you write. Perhaps people don't know the chalenge posed by writing one poem a day for a whole month. The exclamation mark had to be there, totally wicked & very readable.

Thanks for flagging me 2Lou! Thanks also for the crit. Really useful stuff. I do want to keep the title, with all three exclamation marks, partly because it makes the K in my April Fools set (Ks being a bitch, as any Scrabblist knows) and partly because I like going through the whole poem and seeing the title again. I was, however, unsure about the ending, rokkit, as you suggested. That was where my title theory fell down. It did seem a little too neatly wrapped up, but I was honestly at a loss as to how to escape without killing a man. That end line really IS a problem. I'll take any suggestions. Should I kill it on "screeching"? That doesn't seem to hold enough whack. Answers on a postcard. Thanks to you also, QueenElf! My head has never swelled so much and I really appreciate your feedback and thoughts. Cheers m'dears! K x "I have a room for life at the Home for the Chronically Groovy."

You could try "schreeching and then just ending with a row of dots......... But I like it as it is, it's a pity there isn't a high note K, now that would work really well.

As one who is often accused of bringing the conversation round to smut (ask my friends) i totally got this. Keep up the challenge, i am enjoying my daily dose. Juliet

And thank you Julia! I'm enjoying it a fair bit myself! K x "I have a room for life at the Home for the Chronically Groovy."