Deflated

Have been feeling a bit deflated since the weekend away. Don’t feel like doing more than kitchen pottering.  Live music and theatre, especially bizarre theatre, is so life-affirming.  It filled up my cup.  All the creativity, everyone enjoying themselves, laughter, applause, not a word of the news from the wide world.  Being in the moment, breathing in and breathing out, "Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now!".  Away from routines or even the usual brand of tea.  Having a wonderful time can take it out of you.  Especially when all over the news, it seems the end of the world is nigh.  Good things almost become a shock to the system.  In a fabulous way.  I may have the post-holiday blues.  Not helped by the fact that I’ve not gone walking or out to breathe the autumn air where I live since I’ve come back.  It’s the same air.  The same Moray Firth.  What is up with me?  Thinking about the past is useful until it isn’t.  It’s okay to feel sad.  It’s okay to compare.  It’s even okay to thank your lucky stars.  I feel tired and shivery.  I think I’m talking about ageing.  I am so tired.  The driving, the eating out, getting up so early, the sea air.  I even had beer.  I’m just tired.  When I used to go on courses at Findhorn, I’d book two weeks off work.  The first one for the course, the second one to recover.  That’s where I am now.  Recovering.  I just need a couple of days to myself.  Coursework can wait.  Total news break, roast a butternut squash, make some soup.  Let the weekend richness assimilate.  To hell with the big wide world.

On the other hand, might just have caught covid.

Miranda, L-M 2009-13 ‘That Would Be Enough’ "Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now!".  Available from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY2oIxpa08k