ONE MOMENT IN MY DAY

I'm there on the Sofa in the Lounge, writing cheques and doing what you have to do when you pay bills and I glance up to the door leading through to the Kitchen, just as a sudden flash of iridescent Green and Blue catches the sun streaming in through the open door from the Back garden, there's a following whirly-bird, whirring sound, which suggests that there is something big bearing down, and I see the most Beautiful! Wondrous! Dragon Fly gracefully dancing in through the door, across the Kitchen worktop and into the Lounge. Unfortunately this little beauty is closely followed by a streak of black and white Muffett the cat, who is moving pretty fast for an eight year old Stroke victim.

I jump up shouting at Muffett as the Dragonfly whirrs madly around the room, keeping lower than my 5 feet and a bit (which really isn't hard when your as close to the ground as I am) I duck the Ariel assault, while reaching out and trying to halt Muffett's very hot pursuit of the beast. Muffett launches herself onto the Sofa is catapulted off the back toward the window where she thuds hard onto the sill, then gracefully leaps off taking my tasteful arrangement of the Sunflowers (Which I bought this very morning as a two pounds ninety nine BOGOFF.. bargain or what?), with her. The Dragonfly deftly swerves away from Muffett's mid-air hooked claws and the cat hits the floor just as the Dragonfly connects with the wall by the side of my desk with a sickening thud, and slightly concussed slips between a gap that even a Bluebottle would have difficulty slipping down, and gets trapped.

Muffett launches herself at the desk, sticks her nose against the gap while trying desperately to force her unsheathed paw between the distance while chattering and drooling. The Dragonfly's wings beat hard against the side of my desk as it angrily tries to extradite itself and put some distance between it and the instruments of torture being waved around by the furry pussy. Meanwhile I throw myself at Muffett, telling her in no uncertain terms just how naughty she is. She sniffs down her feline nose, her tail quivers in reserved disgust and she flicks me her evil eyed devil cat glance which tells me she's not at this particular moment in time "my likkle darlin' baby puss

I really don't know what's got into her recently...she massacred "Fred my friendly household "Wolf Spider last night. He was a bit of a messed up mess on the rug when I came down this morning and two of his legs were still hanging out of Muffett's mouth too¦.Awww!

So there I am! One Devil Cat stalking one very angry Dragonfly which is trapped between the wall and a desk upon which sits two very expensive PC's, screens and various other costly equipment, and I'm on my own, and of course there is not one big strong man handy to come to my aid ( Being a now menopausal, as well as a vertically challenged woman, I no longer expect big strong men to be the least bit inclined to throw themselves in my direction to flex anything, let alone a muscle) Now Muffett by this time is apoplectic with frustration as the Dragonfly buzzes it's indignation at being held captive a whiskers breadth away from her twitching nose.

So having no choice, I do it!! I throw Muffett in the Bathroom (always but always, downstairs bathrooms for menopausal ladies, vertically challenged or not) and go to the end of the desk, thinking that if I can just move it enough to make a wider gap, the Dragonfly will manage to squeeze itself out. I grasp the edge of the desk and lift, and so does the top...Damn! I try to lift the whole two ton desk, despite my arthritic joints seizing up in protest and it doesn't move one rotten inch!!!, So taking my gnarled hands with me, I go to the end of the desk near the wall and force my vicelike fingers onto the end and Pull. Yes! Yes it's moving!! But so is the door to the bathroom and out whizzes Muffett at the same time out towards freedom whirls the Dragonfly then skips across the lounge carpet, flutters a par-de-deux across the kitchen floor just as Muffett hits the tiles at warp-speed, front paws flailing she skids the distance between herself and her quarry, eyes wide and glowing red, forked tail acting as her rudder. I drop the desk and the thousands of pounds worth of equipment totters expectantly and the desk gives out a warning groan as everything rocks violently. I glance frantically to the Kitchen, while holding out a hand, (though just what good one hand would do to stop a ton of metal crashing to the floor I don't know, but I do it anyway)

The Dragonfly scutters onto the edge of the Doorstep balancing momentarily, a shimmering jewel of iridescent beauty. Muffett's bottom slides across the tiles as she hurls at Mac one Speed toward her target.

"Fly I scream at the Dragonfly

As her body transports across the polished tiles, Muffett spits a quick glance of liquid fire at me over her shoulder on hearing my scream. Then in a blinding flash the Dragonfly lifts off. Muffett hits the doormat, tumbles over the doorstep, falls onto the patio, recovers on the move and hits the steps up to the garden, takes all three in liquid motion and brakes hard to a stop, launching herself up onto her back legs she swipes with her front claws ripping at the empty air where the merest shadow of iridescence ripples the still air, just as with a backward flip of it's laser blue tail at the demented Muffett the Dragonfly majestically zips off over the fence. Muffett drops gracefully to the floor, flicks a rough tongue over her naked empty claws, re-sheaths them and then looks around as I cling panting, to the door jam ,a stupid grin of victory splattered across my face.

Muffett saunters easily down the garden steps, jauntily across the patio and with a cautionary sniff at the spot on the doorstep where her enemy rested and made good it's escape, she strolls back into the kitchen, sits down and meows very loundly in protest. This succeeds in bringing my attention to her and, at just how empty her dish is, thereby completing the transformation back into my "likkle darlin' baby puss"

And that was just one moment in my day.

Now I better go Clean Fred up off the rug. Wonder where his other six legs went?

"Muffett?