stalkbykaz2988

5 posts / 0 new

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Wed, 2006-03-29 16:02

stalkbykaz2988

http://www.abctales.com/story/kaz2988/stalk

Reading this my heart was pounding along with the girl's. Really captured it I felt. Maybe a little long, but the fast pace of the writing keeps the reader interested. Leaves you wondering what happened at the end. Good stuff.

Wed, 2006-03-29 17:59

sky

This is good - gave me chills. Is there a part 2?

Wed, 2006-03-29 19:37

Juliet OC

I enjoyed the idea of this story - the two perspectives revealling different thoughts. However it also held me at a distance and i would have liked to have been shown the scene in the woods rather than just told about it. When they finally meet you could enter into dialogue and use that to reveal their feelings about each other - then switch back to the inner monologues once she has escaped. Just some thoughts. Juliet

Juliet

Thu, 2006-03-30 12:37

Moimo

Good point Juliet about the lack of dialogue in the woods, didn't notice at first but once it was pointed out. nobody

Thu, 2006-03-30 17:04

tcook

I liked the 'thought exchange' but I think the problem could be solved by putting the stalker's thoughts first and the girl's second - just reverse the order from the beginning. It's good though - very good.

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